and So It Begins.... Again....

Returned to my Physio this morning after a long absence, and it has hit home how much I have neglected myself over the last 7 months.  My poor ankle was given a good workout (ouch) by him, and when I told him how I had gained weight after returning to work, his response was "after all your hard work!".  It really dawned on me how I have let things slide! 
And then it was back to my Weight Watchers meetings.  I was so embarrassed returning with my tail between my legs.  I wore my heaviest clothing & runners, as usually I weigh in wearing light clothes & slip on shoes!  Weigh in for me was 117.3kgs.  Ouch!  So, I will officially track my weight using the WW scales from now on, and not my home scales, where I weigh in naked first thing in the morning.
And so, I sit here typing this, having just hung up the phone from my Dad.  He has found out the results from his biopsy a couple of days ago, and the results are not good.  He has melanoma cancer, a very rare type, with not a very good outlook.  Devestating news, and my Mum is understandably beside herself.  I feel like vomiting, and crying & screaming, and feel useless.  And think I am being ridiculous sitting typing up a weightloss blog, when there are oh so many more important things that can be done.  And what the hell should I worry about weightloss for, when my Dad is up for the battle of his life right now, and that's a more important thing to worry about!
Anyway, lots to think about, lots to deal with, and need to take this one day at a time!
Let the battles begin....

Throwing in the Towel on the Dukan

Have struggled all weekend with the Dukan.  Out for dinner on Friday night, at work all day on Saturday & drinks & a roast with family yesterday, and it is all just too much!  I want to live my bloody life happily, whilst losing weight, and enjoy my food!  It's just not something that can be done realistically on the Dukan Diet!    Perhaps it is easier for someone who doesn't have 5 others in the family they have to prepare food for!  I don't know.... it's just not for me.
So, I may be throwing in the towel on the Dukan, but I am definitely not giving up on the weightloss.  I have just rejoined Weight Watchers, and will go back to my weekly meetings this Thursday.  I have lost over 30kgs with Weight Watchers, so I just KNOW I can get to goal once I put my mind to it.  I can do this.  I will do this.  And in the meantime, I can eat & drink like a normal person (all within points of course!!).
Did I mention it is only 41 sleeps til Christmas.  The excitement in this household is building!!!!
So, as I close one door, I open another.  Onwards & downwards...

Day 28

I was so hungry all day yesterday!!  I don't know whether it is the exercise I am doing that is making me so hungry, or what, but I ate all day long!    Anyway, I am happy to see the scales going down again!
Have just had a look back on my blog to my first entry on 27th April 2006.  I've been slogging away at this for over 5 years now, and I must say I am pretty disappointed with how far I have come - 5 years to lose just over 20kgs sounds like a huge waste of time.  But, I guess with 2 pregnancies, a few operations, and all of life's ups & downs, it makes sense.
I just finished reading Portia De Rossi's book "Unbearable Lightness" last night.  She struggled with anorexia & bulimia, and it was amazing to see how far she took things until she became so sick that she decided to do something about it!  Quite remarkable, and I could definitely relate to some of the things she said about dieting.
So, it is 336 days (48 weeks) until I am in Bali - with hubby & childfree!  I'm already excited!  AND I am determined not to be a big fatty boombah!!!  48 weeks to lose 33kgs should be a walk in the park.  My goal weight with Weight Watchers was 65kgs, but on the Dukan, it takes into account how many kids you've had, your bone density, your age & lifestyle, etc, and it's given me my goal weight of 78.8kgs, which is difference of 13.8kgs.  I think I'll use the Dukan weight as my first goal, and then see how I look/feel at this weight, and then take it further if need be.  Can't imagine being 78kgs, let alone under 100kgs!  BRING IT ON!!

Day 28 - Attack Phase Day 3
Weight: 111.8kgs (loss of 0.4kgs - Total Loss 4.6gs)

• 1 Egg, 1 1/2tbs oatbran, cottage cheese, cinnamon (delicious!!!!)
•  2 coffees, skim milk

Day 27

Feeling bloody fantastic today!  Amazing how good this diet makes you feel.  My ankle, however, is not too good and feeling the effects of getting back on the xtrainer for a rigourous (even if only 20mins!) workout!  I've booked to see my physio next week for a well overdue treatment!

Day 27 - Attack Phase Day 2
Weight: 112.2kgs (loss of 1.2kgs - Total Loss 4.2kgs)

• 2 Eggs, 1 1/2tbs oatbran, 2 coffees, skim milk
• No fat Mango Yoghurt
• 1 1 /2 Beef steak (Scotch fillet) cooked in soy & garlic, Non fat Natural Yoghurt
• Roasted chicken breast, no skin
• No fat Vanilla Yoghurt
• Tuna in springwater, cottage cheese
• 20mins xtrainer
• 1.5+ litres water

I have been absolutely starving today!!!!

Day 26 - Take 2 on starting again!!!

It's a long story, but on Monday (day 25), things went downhill, so I didn't start back properly on the Dukan.  Fish'n'chips for dinner, wine & left over cake with whipped cream were all too much for me to resist, and then Tuesday I just felt like shit & didn't want to start back on track.  I decided to wait until things "clicked" again with me, which can usually take a couple of weeks.  No point starting again when I wasn't going to commit.
Fortunately today (Wednesday) I woke up raring to go & get back into it.  So only 2 days for things to "click" instead of a couple of weeks or a couple of months - YAY!!!  Could it possibly be the fact that my hubby booked our accomodation for October 2012 when we're going to Bali!?!?!  Maybe!  Just the two of us to celebrate turning 40 (me in the September, and him in the November).  I have told him I WILL NOT ever go again overseas whilst being fat!  And I WILL NOT be fat when I turn 40!!!
Anyway, finally got back on the xtrainer this morning.  Geez, I love that machine!!  But it did nearly kill me!  Can't believe how bad my fitness levels have become since March.  I could do an hour plus easily on it, and today I did an intense 20mins, but felt like I was going to have a heart attack! 
Feeling so great & confident.  I have 31 days until my work Christmas party on December 10th & to lose 5kgs before then would be amazing!

Day 26 - Attack Phase Day 1
Weight: 113.4kgs (gain of 0.5kgs - Total Loss 3kgs)

• 2 Eggs, 1 1/2tbs oatbran, 2 coffees, skim milk
• Steamed fish fillet with lemon & herbs, fat free natural yoghurt
• Kangaroo Fillet with cajun spices, fat free nat yoghurt
• Steak (bef eye fillet) dry pan fried, cottage cheese
• Small can tuna in springwater
• 1.5+ litres water
• 20min xtrainer

Day 25 - Starting Over!!!!!!

Well, what a HUGGGGEEEE week I've had!  Lots of partying & too much drinking and eating.  And it's just been too hard to follow the Dukan principles, so I didn't even bother trying.  It all started with a hugggggeeee Melbourne Cup Day BBQ at our place, then a 3 day hangover period - not as young as I used to be obviously, and even the thought of pure proteins made me want to vomit!!  Followed by sick kids, working late nights, a bus Shopping Tour, and finishing up yesterday with my eldest's First Holy Communion celebration, with chocolate cake, cheese cake, lemon tart & banana cake!!!
However, today I am starting afresh, and back to the attack phase.  In the book, Dr Dukan recommends starting with the Attack phase if you go off track. 
So, back to the grindstone, and will keep on track until Christmas, with the exception of upcoming Christmas parties in December.  And this time, I am determined to damn well exercise daily!!!
So, to recap, the 24 days I was on track with the Dukan (with a few wines here & there!), I lost 6.7kgs.  Not a bad effort!!!  My last weigh in was at 109.7kgs, and 9 days later (ie. this morning) I weighed in at 112.9kgs, which is a gain of 3.2kgs - eeeeek!!!  Still, 3.5kgs in a month is not a bad weight loss in the normal scheme of things really. 
So, here we go... again.....

A couple of pictures of me yesterday. God I hate having my photo taken at this size!!!

Day 25 - Attack Phase
Weight: 112.9kgs (gain of 3.2kgs in 9 days - Total Loss 3.5kgs)

• 2 Eggs, 2tbs oatbran, 2 coffees, skim milk
• Kangaroo fillet cooked with Cajun spices, onion, cottage cheese

Day 24.....

Worked both Saturday & Sunday full 8 1/2 hour shifts.  Halloween Monday & Melbourne Cup Day BBQ Tuesday.  Will be back to update my blog on Wednesday (Day 28)...

Day 24 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 109.7kgs (loss of 300gms, total 6.7kgs)

Day 23

The start of a 5 day long weekend for my older 2 kids today.  No school due to a teachers' inservice day today & Monday and then Tuesday is the Melbourne Cup Public holiday.  I love having all 4 of my babies home with me!!  Unfortunately I am working all weekend :(
We're off to the Melbourne Aquarium today, and it's my first big day out on a Pure Protein day. I have been struggling with what to take to eat for lunch.  Have just boiled some eggs to take with me, and maybe will stop & grab a can of tuna from the Supermarket as well (don't have any in the cupboard).
Weighed in at 110kgs this morning! Only 100gms away from being in the 100s!!! How frustrating!!!

Day 23 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 110kgs (loss of 400gms, total 6.4kgs)

Oatbran 2tbs, Vanilla yoghurt, coffee, non fat milk

Day 22

3 weeks done & dusted on the Dukan, and I still can't believe how easy it has been!  With my weigh in this morning, it brings my total weight loss to 6kgs in 3 weeks!  Amazing!  Imagine what I could have lost with some exercise thrown in as well! 
Had to change up my brekkie this morning, as I felt sick at the thought of having eggs again.  And the oatbran mixed with yoghurt was absolutely delicious!!!  I'm probably drinking more coffee than I should be each day, but it is my one special little delight that helps me get through without needing any sweets or chocolate or anything like that! It's almost like a guilty pleasure!!!! 
I honestly can't believe it is going to be November next month, and so begins the "silly season"!!!  It's definitely the busiest time of the year, but my favourite without a doubt!  Love all the celebrations, decorations & excitement that Christmas brings!  Bring it on!!!

Day 22 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 110.4kgs (loss of 400gms, total 6kgs)

• Oatbran 2tbs, Vanilla yoghurt, coffee, non fat milk
• scrambled eggs with ham & cottage cheese
• Kangaroo steak with herbs & spices, cottage cheese
• 1.5+ litres water

Days 20 & 21

Have just been battling a lot of emotions the last 2 days, and haven't felt like posting.  I think it's been a BIG BAD week.  My Dad found out he has cancer, and then all this drama with my girlfriend!  Had a big cry on Monday, which I think I really needed.  Also called in sick to work for the last 2 nights - Monday I was just an emotional mess, and yesterday I had an upset tummy as a result of it all, and I also went to see my friend last night.   I was shocked at how terrible she looked, and she is definitely going through some serious shit at the moment, but she is in the safest place & getting the help she needs, which is brilliant.
Still going strong on the Dukan, except for some wine AGAIN on Monday night. But, I am not having a drop of wine now until next Tuesday on Melbourne Cup Day. We are having friends over for a BBQ and to watch the horse racing, so I plan on having a day off of the Dukan.
Glad to finally be nearly in the 100's today!  I sooooo wants to be under 100kgs by Christmas.  It's been my goal to get into those magic double digit numbers for so long!!!  AND I must get on that bloody xtrainer today!!!

Day 20 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111.3kgs (gain of 200gms, total 5.1kgs)

• eggs, Oatbran 2tbs, coffee, non fat milk
• Chicken breast, bacon, non fat natural yoghurt, spices
• Lamb mince & spices (made into a burger), natural yoghurt, bacon
• Wine
• 1.5 litres water

Day 21 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 110.8kgs (loss of 500gms, total 5.6kgs)

• eggs, Oatbran 2tbs, coffee, non fat milk
• tuna, cottage cheese
• Chicken breast,spices, natural yoghurt
• 1.5 litres water

Day 19

Had some very disturbing new last night.  Firstly, received a text from one of my oldest & dearest friends which was a "goodbye" message, and then she tried to kill herself.  Fortunately her family found her & she was taken to hospital, where she is recovering.  Her wounds are not bad, but mentally she is apparently a mess.  She's not allowed visitors, so I feel so useless about not being able to see her & give her some support!
As usual, I battled my emotions with naughty food!  Wine & potato chips!  ARGH!  Very disappointed in myself, but straight back into the saddle today, and it's the start of my 5 days straight of Pure Protein.
Not reading much into my overnight weight loss.  Could just be dehydration from the wine last night, so will see how I go over the next 5 days.

Day 19 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111.1kgs (loss of 300gms, total 5.3kgs)

• eggs, Oatbran 2tbs, coffee, non fat milk
• Chicken breast, bacon, non fat natural yoghurt, spices
• Lean beef mince, bacon, cottage cheese
• Wine, potato chips (argh!!!!)
• 1.5+ litres water

Days 17 & 18

Worked a long shift all day yesterday, so didn't have time to update my blog.  Don't even really think about being on a "diet" anymore, as it doesn't really feel like I am on one.  Still feeling full & not eating at "normal" times, just whenever I remind myself to eat something.  Unwound last night by sharing a couple of bottles of wine with hubby.  Was tempted to stock up on more when I was buying the wine, but I know I can't be trusted and would have continued drinking last night!  As it is, I have a massive headache this morning - can't drink like I used to a couple of months ago!!
Today's my last day of the Pure Protein + Veg, and tomorrow I start 5 days of Pure Protein.  Think I prefer this system much better, as it doesn't confuse me at all.  The scales have been stabilised which is obviously what happens on the vegie days (because of the water retention - all explained in the Dukan book), so I expect the scales to drop in the next few days.  Will be interesting to see what happens!!

Day 17 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111.4kgs (same weight, total 5kgs)

• eggs, Oatbran 2tbs, cottage cheese, coffee, non fat milk
• chicken breast, cottage cheese
• chicken mince & lamb mince sausages, yoghurt & lemon dressong, salad
• 1 bottle white wine

Day 18 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111.4kgs (same weight, total 5kgs)

• bacon, egg, Oatbran 2tbs, lettuce, coffee, non fat milk
• Non fat yoghurt
• Steak on the bbq, garden salad
• Too much wine!!!!
• Bowl of poatato chips (very very naughty!)

Day 16

My third day out of five eating Pure Protein + Veg,  Still feeling so full all the time, which I think is the beauty of this diet.  Thankfully a loss of 400gms today.  It's very disheartening to think of how strict I am on myself, and then to see a gain on the scales!  Anyway, all going well, except for the exercise!  Just have to get organised with that!!!
Had a couple of wines tonight before bed.  Shouldn't have done it, but just felt so stressed and tense.

 

Day 16 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111.4kgs (loss of 400gms, total 5kgs)

• eggs, Oatbran 2tbs, bacon, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cottage cheese, coffee, non fat milk
• chicken breast, natural yoghurt
• tuna, cottage cheese
• Thai beef & vegies in basil & chilli spices
• Vanilla non fat yoghurt
• 1/2 bottle white wine

Day 15

2 weeks down, and another bloody gain this morning!  Very frustrating, but I am taking faith in the words of Dr Dukan that it takes approx 20 days of being on the Cruise Phase for your body to adjust properly.   Having no problem at all sticking to the diet, so will keep plodding along.
Absolutely loving my brekkies of egg & oatbran - mixed together it makes like an omelette/pancake type of thing that is delicious with a bit of yoghurt ot cottage cheese on top (or vegies on my vegie days).

Day 15 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111.8kgs (gain of 300gms, total 4.6kgs)

• eggs, Oatbran 2tbs, Nat yoghurt, coffee, non fat milk
• Roast chicken breast (no skin), lettuce, cucumber, carrot, beetroot
• Tuna, cottage cheese
• 1.5 litres water

I had family over for lunch yesterday, and thought it would be far too difficult not to eat salad, so I've decided to do the 5 days of Pure Protein + Veg, and the 5 days of Pure Protein.  The 5/5 system is the one Dr Dukan originally started with, before he changed to the 1/1 system.  Will see how the 5/5 goes for me and I might continue it if I like it.  I find I am always confused remembering what day I eat what, so I think this may suit me & my lifestyle better.  Will see how I go.

Day 14

A gain this morning on the scales!  WTF?!  Must be TTOM & water retention stuffing me around!  I should really weigh myself weekly not to get disheartened by a gain midweek, but Dr Dukan recommends weighing yourself often.  I shouldn't complain - 4.9kgs in 2 weeks is just  a ridiculous amount of weight to lose!

Day 14 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111.5kgs (gain of 500gms, total 4.9kgs)

• eggs, Oatbran 2tbs, coffee, non fat milk
• Tuna, carrot, cucumber, beetroot, natural yoghurt
• zucchini strips (peeled thin like pasta strips); lean pork & beef mince, garlic, herbs, cottage cheese (made pasta Bolognese for the rest of the family, so made myself a Dukan version!!)
• 1.5+ litres of water

The kids are fascinated by what I am eating & the versions I come up with of our family meals!  Hilarious!

Day 13

TTOM (That Time Of Month) arrived yesterday with lots of tummy pains, so feeling really yukky, especially last night, but made an effort to get back on the xtrainer.  Only did 15min, although I felt like I could do a whole hour, but I want to ease into it, and take it easy for my ankle's sake.  Will make sure I keep up the exercise now, although I do find it difficult some days to find the time!
A brilliant loss on the scales today - down 1.2kgs!  Just what I needed to boost my motivation!  I am finding this Dukan diet so incredibly easy, and I just feel so terrific.  I guess maybe because I am not a real sweet tooth that I am not finding it too hard.  I could imagine that someone who likes a lot of sugar in their usual daily life would struggle without it.
Today is a Pure Protein day.  The full Pure Protein days make me excited about the vegies & salad I can eat on the next day! 

Day 13 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 111kgs (loss of 1.2kgs, total 5.4gs)

• egg, bacon, 2tbs Oatbran, non fat Natural yoghurt
• bacon, chicken breast, Nat yoghurt (with the Creole spice I am crazy on!)
• Coffee, non fat milk
• Chicken breast. Nat yoghurt, curry powder, cottage cheese.  The rest of the family had Mango chicken with rice, pappadums & Naan bread.
• 1.5+ litres water
• 15min xtrainer

Day 12

I crashed last night & was in bed ASLEEP by 7pm!  I even went to bed before the kids!!!!  Obviously needed it after a hard working week of working 6 days - and I am supposed to be part time!!!  Still feeling really great on the Dukan, and still finding it easy.  Bread & chocolate are some of my favourite foods, and I haven't missed them at all.  Glad the scales are finally moving in the right direction!

I have been eating the "Ready Oats" I bought the other day, although I am getting some Oat Bran delivered today.  I compared the information on the Nutritional graph on the back of the packets, and they are absolutely identical, so the "Ready Oats" must be the same thing, but they are just packaged differently.

Day 12 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 112.2kgs (loss of 200gms, total 4.2kgs)

• egg, bacon, mushrooms, tomato, lettuce, cucumber, cottage cheese
• coffee, non fat milk
• Cottage cheese mixed with 2tbs Ready oats, lettuce, cucumber
• chicken breast, cottage cheese, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, beetroot
• 1.5 litres water
• 15min on Xtrainer

Have the Oatbran in my hot little hands now, and although it does have the same nutritional value of the "Ready Oats", the Oatbran's only ingredient is Oatbran (funny about that!) and the Ready Oats only ingredient is Oats.  So they are obviously different. Oatbran is the fibrous husk that surrunds and protects the Oat grain.  I've discarded the Ready Oats & will start on the Oatbran in the morning!

Day 11

I love Sundays!  But cannot wait until the kids start to sleep in!!  These 7am wake ups are driving me insane! 
FINALLY the scales are moving again.  I am hoping it's not caused by wine & dehydration & it's because of the diet finally kicking in.  I'll know when I weigh in tomorrow!!   Hubby has an AFL Footy coaching course today (he coaches our son's footy team), and I have a 5 hour shift at work, so the grandparents are watching the kids for me.  It's a Pure Protein day for me today, so I will put a roast in the slow cooker for dinner, and prepare something to take with me to work for lunch.  I am surprising myself with how easy I am finding sticking to this!

Day 11 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 112.4kgs (loss of 400gms, total 4kgs)

• egg, minced beef, bacon, cottage cheese, 2tbs Ready oats
• coffee, non fat milk
• tuna, yoghurt
• Strawberry non fat yoghurt
• Corned beef, scrambled egg
• 1.25 litres water

Day 10

Another gain today!  ARGH!  So annoying!!!  But I will keep plodding along!  I went back to re-read the Dukan book last night to make sure I was doing everything right, and I read the following, which has re-assured me....

"Very often, weight loss is spectacular during the first phase and then, when vegetables are introduced, the scales seem to get stuck and do not go down, or may even show a slight increase in pounds.  Do not worry - you are not slipping backwards.  So what is happening?
During the Attack phase, because you are eating only proteins this has a powerful water-repellant effect.  Reserve fat is lost as well as a large quantity of water that has been stagnating in the body for a long time.  This combination of eliminated water and fat explains why your scales show an impressive loss.
But when vegetables are added to proteins, water, having been artificially expelled, is retained once more, which explains the sudden and incomprehensible stagnation.  The real weight loss which is connected to the fats still continues, albeit reduced by the addition of vegetables, but it is being camouflaged by the return of water.  Be patient......."

It goes on to say it takes about 20 or so days for the weightloss to show when starting the 1/1 rhythm of Pure Proteins alternating with proteins + vegetables.  Phew, happy to wait a few weeks for good weight loss, so will just continue on with it.  Hubby is buying my Oatbran today, so will start on that, and plan on starting exercising this weekend too.  I'm working all day today & all day tomorrow, so have to precook my meals & plan ahead.  I'm keeping up with the water intake as well.  Feeling great!!!

Day 10 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 112.8kgs (gain of 100gms, total 3.6kgs)

• egg, diced beef, spices
• coffee, non fat milk
• diced beef, spices, cottage cheese
• tuna, cottage cheese
• beef mince, bacon, cottage cheese, mushrooms, cucumber, tomato, lettuce (YUMMO!)
• 1.5 litres water
• 3 glasses white wine

It was a loooonnngggg busy day at work, and I really wanted to enjoy a nice glass of wine tonight.  Hubby & I have decided that we will sit down & enjoy a couple of bottles of wine on a Saturday night each week.   Just 2 nice bottles of Pinot Grigio to share in the evening between us once a week.  Quite a big change from drinking most nights of the week.  Although we are trying to lose weight, we have to enjoy our lives for God's sake!!!  Not going to drop the ball in any other areas, except for this small treat on Saturday nights.

Struggled to find the oatbran today!  Managed to find "Quick Oats" at a local Coles Supermarket, which is 100% oats, and I will check with my friend to see if that product is the correct one to eat - have no idea!!!

Going to get back on the xtrainer in the morning, and already looking forward to it!!! BRING IT ON!

Days 8-9

Day 8 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 112.5kgs (gain of 200gms, total 3.9kgs)

Was unable to post today due to computer crashing!  Had a great day on the Dukan, but didn't drink enough water!

Day 9 - Cruise Phase
Weight: 112.7kgs (gain of 200gms, total 3.7kgs)

We are having major computer issues at the moment, and think it might be time to upgrade to a new PC or laptop.  Unfortunately we can't afford it at the moment, so will just have to try & keep this old thing running for as long as possible!

Have had gains over the last 2 days on the scales, and I have absolutely no bloody idea why!  I have been following the diet, BUT there are 3 things that may be a factor....

1. Oat bran - I haven't been eating it, as I haven't bought it yet.  Hubby is getting it for me tomorrow.
2. Exercise - I haven't started exercising yet
3. Not eating enough - I haven't felt hungry at all, so hardly eat & have to keep reminding myself to

It's a bit disheartening, but I shouldn't sneeze at 3.7kgs in 8 days!  That's just phenomenal!!!  Will keep slogging away, and start up with the exercise regime, and see if it helps!

Day 7

I was very naughty & shared a couple of bottles of wine last with the hubby.  But after a shitful day, and news that hubby's job may soon be made redundant, I felt like we needed it!  Loss of 300gms on the scales, which I am sure would have been larger without that wine.  Starting to really notice the weightloss in my face & tummy already!  YAY!

Day Seven - Cruise Phase
Weight: 112.3kgs (loss of 300gms, total 4.1kgs)

• Bacon, eggs, cottage cheese
• coffee, non fat milk
• extra lean beef mince, cottage cheese, 6 fresh asparagus*
• Non fat Vanilla yoghurt

*Forgot I am not supposed to eat vegies today.. oops!!

Have finally tracked down where I can purchase Oat Bran, so will pick some of that up in the next day or so.  I'm supposed to be having it daily, but have been so far unable to find it, until now!  Don't think I will post what I eat anymore, as it seems a little boring.  Need to get some updated pics too!  Is it boring that I am posting daily?  Maybe I should change to weekly?

So very, very tired with working these late shifts at work until 11pm.   But otherwise, I am feeling really great on the Dukan.  Just now have to make sure that I don't fall into the black hole of worry about Hubby's job and lack therefore of money!!  It's when I get stressed that I start on the nightly wine drinking & get way off track with my eating.  But I am strong, and won't cave THIS TIME!

Day 6

Well, I've finished the 5 day Attack phase.  And I'm still alive.  Weighed in at 112.6kgs this morning,  which is a total loss of 3.8kgs in 5 days!  Absolutely stoked with that! And I am so looking forward to salad & vegies today!!!

Day Six - Cruise Phase
Weight: 112.6kgs (loss of 500gms, total 3.8kgs)

• Eggs, ham, onion
• Coffee, tea
• Kangaroo burger, roasted pumkin, onion & garlic, natural yoghurt
• Beef mince, steamed cauliflower, broccoli & carrots with natural yoghurt
• 3 glasses white wine (very naughty!!!)
• Strawberry yoghurt
• 1.5 litres water

Day 5

A gain of 200gms this morning, which I expected.  Still disappointing though!  Last night we went to the work function at the Karaoke Bar, and the food was just terrible, with limited choices.  The chicken I ate seemed to be steamed, but the beef was unfortunately cooked in oil.  Such a little thing like the oil can make a big difference to this diet!  Still stuck with my water, and had 2 Diet Cokes as well, whilst everyone else boozed on!!!

My husband started the Dukan yesterday, but was very unwell & blocked up this morning.  I suggested he follow Weight Watchers again, cause it is just easier for him with working full time, so he is giving up on the Dukan, and just going to eat healthy again.  Although he is very overweight, he drops weight rapidly when he puts his mind to it.

So, my last day of "Attack" and I can eat salad & veg tomorrow!  YAY!!


Day Five - Attack Phase
Weight: 113.3kgs (gain of 200gms, total 3.1kgs)

• Eggs, chicken breast, onion, natural yoghurt
• Chicken breast, roasted onion, cottage cheese
• Beef mince, onion, natural yoghurt
• Vanilla yoghurt (non fat of course)
• 1.5+ litres water
• Tea & coffee with non fat milk

Day 4

I am finding it so unbelievable how the weight is dropping off.  This just doesn't feel like a diet, because I am eating so much!  Sure, it's restrictive, but I am just so full all the time!  And I like the fact I don't have to worry about weighing food & portion sizes like with Weight Watchers.

I have a long shift at work today again, so once again will make sure I am prepared with food (like I was yesterday).  After work tonight we have a work function at a Karaoke bar, with all alcohol & food supplied.  I originally wasn't going to go due to being on this diet, but I have to still live my life!  I will just drink water or Diet Coke, and the food is Asian, so I am hoping there will be some Sushimi or something similar (raw fish).

Day Four - Attack Phase
Weight: 113.1kgs (loss of 500gms, total 3.3kgs)

• Eggs, kangaroo steak, onion, natural yoghurt
• 1/4 kangaroo steak, cottage cheese
• Tuna in Springwater, natural yoghurt
• Koraoke Bar - Beef fillets with chili & herbs, chicken fillet with spring onions
• 2+ litres water

Day 3

Yesterday was a struggle.  I found myself wanting to eat ANYTHING that I wasn't allowed.  I am also craving vegies & salad.  Oh, I just can't wait for Day 6 when I can eat vegies!!  Felt a little bit constipated, and OH SO TIRED!  Just no energy at all.  And I just seemed to eat constantly, even when I wasn't hungry!!!  The kids had McDonald's for lunch, and it was so very hard not to pinch even one chip, but I am determined to see this through (for a little while anyway).
Weigh in this morning saw the scales at 113.6kgs!  I was shocked as I just feel very heavy.  Today is going to be a challenge.  We have a 4 year old Birthday party to attend with lots of tempting yummy treats, and then I am working an 8 hour shift.  I have to precook all my food this morning so I am prepared!

Day Three - Attack Phase
Weight: 113.6kgs (loss of 500gms, total 2.8kgs)

• Eggs, Ham, cottage cheese
• Chicken skewers (cooked on BBQ at Birthday party)
• Chicken breast steamed in oven with cottage cheese
• Kangaroo Fillet with scrambled egg & herbs
• Non fat Vanilla yoghurt
• Water 3+ litres
• Tea & coffee with non fat milk

Happy to report I did not succumb at the party this morning.  Luckily, there were chicken skewers (with nothing on them) cooked on the BBQ.   They were cooked on the same BBQ as sausages, so unfortunately there would have been a little bit of oil (which is not allowed!), but what could I do?  Finding myself feeling really full ALL the time, and really heavy, which is obviously just because I am eating heavy proteins.  Sooooo looking forward to eating a nice big salad on Tuesday!!!!!

Day 2

Made it through the first day, and must admit I was surprised at how full I felt!  Have stocked up on lean beef & lamb cuts, and also kangaroo steak, burgers & a mini roast.  It's something I rarely eat, but I saw on a chat site with Dr Dukan yesterday that he recommends Australians to eat kangaroo because it is so lean.  It's cheap too, which is a bonus.  I've enjoyed it in the past, so if I enjoy it this time, I will add it to my regular diet.
I am a serial weigher, so was surprised when Dr Dukan in his book suggested to weigh yourself regularly, as it is great way to give you confidence when you see the scales go down.  This morning I weighed myself & to say I was shocked is an understatement - a loss of 2.3kgs!!!!

Day Two - Attack Phase
Weight: 114.1kgs (loss of 2.3kgs)

• Eggs, low fat bacon*, cottage cheese
• 1/2 low fat kangaroo burger with a smear of dijon mustard
• Tub of no fat fruit yoghurt
• roast chicken (no skin) with natural no fat yoghurt.
• Tea & coffee with no fat milk
• 1.5+ litres water

*Have since found out that bacon (or any pork product) should not be consumed in the Attack Phase.

The Dukan Diet Day 1 - Here We Go!

Today I have started the Dukan Diet. I have been researching about it for a few weeks now, and armed with the official book & a Dukan recipe book as well, I am ready to go. My first day is very limited in food choices (due to not going grocery shopping until tomorrow), but I have decided to not put off starting it due to that fact. I am raring to go!!!
Basically, the Dukan Diet is a high protein diet. Consisting of 3 phases as follows:-
1. Attack Phase - Protein only for 5 days
2. Cruise Phase - Introduction of vegies on alternating days (ie. one day only protein, the next protein AND vegies, and so on...)
3. Consolidation Phase - Slow introduction of carbs & fruits to the diet

I hate fad diets, and have tried many of them over my adult lifetime. Whilst I am a bit sceptical about this one, it really does sound like a good & healthy one. Deep down I know Weight Watchers is the perfect & ideal weightloss program for me, so I intend to return to it, but I just need something new & different to kick start me, and keep me interested.

Day One - Attack Phase
Weight: 116.4kgs
• 2 eggs with cottage cheese
• 425g can Tuna in brine mixed with cottage cheese
• 3 eggs, onion, cottage cheese
• No Fat Fruit Yoghurt
• 1.5+ litres of water
• 5min exercise on xtrainer

It is recommended to have only 2 eggs per day, but due to the lack of groceries in my house, I made do with more eggs. Felt REALLY tired throughout the day, and unable to do much exercise (I can usually do an hour on the xtrainer!!!). Have been running to the toilet ALL DAY with the huge amount of water I am drinking. Went grocery shopping after work (at 11.30pm!!!) and stocked up on lean meats & no fat yoghurts, cottage cheese, etc.

A Change is As Good as a Holiday!!!

So, I've been MIA, and piling on the kilos with too much of enjoying life!!!!  I've found Weight Watchers has become a bit stale, so have decided to try out the Dukan Diet for a little bit of a kick start, before I return to my beloved WW.  Will see how long I can last on a protein only diet!!!

Finding My Feet

Loss of 300gms this week. Was bitterly disappointed and annoyed with myself when standing on those scales at WW this morning. "The weight loss should have been higher!" I thought to myself - But why did I think like that when I had only 2 good days out of the whole last week?! Somehow, I have forgotten that I have to work hard for weightloss. Sooooooo disappointed in myself!
Anyway, it's a fresh start & I will get there. Have to remember to track every morsel that enters my mouth, and stay within points. Slow & steady wins the race!!!
I have a leg operation next Thursday, and already I have had thoughts of recouperating on the couch with a glass of wine & chocolate! What the hell is wrong with me!?!?
Anyway, I'll get through it. I'll just keep battling on.....

NO MORE!!!!!

TODAY just get up and go, because YESTERDAY, you said, TOMORROW!!!

A great quote I have "borrowed" from a friend. I think it was written about me! For the last 2 months, I have been saying "Monday I will start back on track", or "tomorrow I will get back on track" and unfortunately, it just hasn't happened. Where the hell have I gone wrong??!?!
I am feeling so bloody frustrated and angry with myself! And full of resentment for my husband as well, which is really not fair to him. We have both been as bad as each other, and led each other down a path of drinking wine every night & snacking badly. It has really started from just big changes in our lives of late. Hubby is miserable in his job, so is job hunting for something better. And I have returned to work after 4 years on maternity leave, so life as we know it has been changed dramatically. I am working evenings, and the occasional weekend, so it's been a big adjustment - not just for me & hubby, but for the 4 kids as well. And hubby and I have seemed to use wine as our coping mechanism - nothing like a nice glass of wine to relax each night when the kids go to bed, or when I get home from work at 10pm!!!
But IT STOPS HERE! I am putting my foot down. I cannot continue down this path. I am sick of seeing the scales go up every morning - and where will it end? With me weighing in at 133kgs again and looking in the mirror at myself full of disgust!?!? With health complications? NO MORE!!!!
I have put on 9.5kg since February. Devastated. Embarrassed. Shocked. Angry. Disgusted.

NO MORE!!!

Where It All Started!

I've been reading a few weightloss blogs lately, and have come across some stories of where the weight gain started. Some such stories have been of abused & neglected children who have used food to make up for the lack of love they've felt. Very sad beginnings for some people.

I have been so fortunate to have had a wonderful childhood & loving parents. And I have often looked back at where my love of food & weight gain started, and wish it was an easy one to work out. I was always a little chunky growing up. Always the big girl - not obese, but just not slim in any way. And I do in a tiny, little way blame my parents. Growing up in the 70s & 80s, there just wasn't the knowledge & awareness of obesity. I remember our dinners always fried in oil, and although we always ate vegies, it was always served up with lashings of butter on top, and we had to eat EVERYTHING on our plate, even if we were full. I remember watching my Mum battle with her weight, and try all the fad diets on the market - acupuncture, meal replacement milkshakes, pills, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers... the list goes on. And I remember her always giving up after a couple of weeks & gaining all the weight back & more. And then Dad setting her up in the garage with a weight workout so she could work off the weight, and that always lasting only a couple of weeks as well! My mum was the Queen of yo-yo dieting, and I remember my sister & I joining her in her fads at an extremely young age, when we were most impressionable! God, I remember having grapefruit for brekkie and I must have only been about the age of 10!! Is there a worse taste than grapefruit? I think not!

I know I shouldn't really blame my parents. They loved us & we had a fantastic life, and they weren't to know things like this would rub off on us in such a way. I am VERY aware with things like this with my own children now, and explain to them how fruit & vegies are important, and things like junk food are great in limited amounts, and how all the exercise they are doing burns off the amount they eat, etc etc. They know I am on WW & that I exercise daily because of it, and because I want to be fit, and they understand how much weight I have lost, but we don't dwell on it, and we don't make it a huge issue. I am trying my hardest to lead by example & show them how to eat & live well, and I am proud of the job my husband & I are doing with the kids!

Anyway, back to my childhood..... I remember going to the shops for smokes for my parents (remember, this was the early 80s and kids were allowed to buy smokes as long as they had a note from their parents - and in those days the Milk Bar was across the road from our house & the shopkeeper knew my parents!), and I HATED having to always go to the shop for my parents! Dad's favourite saying was "What's the use of having a dog & barking yourself?" haha! Anyway, Dad would always compensate my by giving me extra money so I could buy a Mars Bar! And I remember sometimes, he would let me buy TWO Mars Bars!! They were my absolute favourite treat in the world, and looking back now, I consumed a hell of a lot of Mars Bars in my early teens. But the trend of food as rewards was a constant in my childhood. I also remember the days of doing a paper round where I would get up at 5am in the morning in the freezing cold, and ride for over an hour delivering papers, and would come home to a lovely brekkie of cereal with milk and CREAM on top, prepared by my Dad as a reward for my hard & tiring morning. I shudder at the thought of it now, but I can still remember how I loved this for brekkie! All these treats & bad eating would have been fine for me growing up, if I exercised!!! That was the main problem! I didn't do any exercise. I gave up playing sport after Grade 6, and it was the big downfall I believe. My older brother (by 8 years) always played sport, so was always able to control his weight, and my older sister (by 4 years) always battled with her weight too, following in my Mum's footsteps of yo-yo dieting, but most of the time she was slim.

My weight really started to get out of control when I discovered alcohol in my late teens, and then of course things really got out of control with my first pregnancy, when I thought that was a licence to eat for two. I thought I would worry about losing the weight after the baby, but of course, that was just a joke, and I gained more & more with each pregnancy, then with the car accident & the onsuing depression & alcohol drinking, the weight just piled on, and here I am now!

I can see the patterns of my life when I am depressed, and how I get off track & eat & drink. And when I am holidaying, I eat & drink, and then struggle to get back on track afterwards, to get my head into "the zone". I understand that I am now on a lifelong journey to get fit & healthy, and it will take quite a while. I know I will get there eventually, and that in the meantime I need to continue being a good role model for my children, so they can grow up as fit & healthy adults, and pass on their healthy lifestyles to their own children. Yes it all started with me when I was a young child, but I understand that & will use that knowledge to improve my life.

This Is It.... Really, It Is!

The Biggest Loser Finale was on Sunday night, and this is the before & after pic of the winner, Emma. She is really inspiring! She started off the same weight as I did, and went on to lose over 65kgs (most of it not even while she was in the BL House!!!!), and God she looks HOT!! Just an amazing transformation, and something that I am going to aspire to!
Anyway, after claiming "This is it" last week, I fell off the wagon big time. A huge weekend of eating, drinking & arguments with the husband, and a gain of 2.3kgs for me this week. My total weight loss is now down to 25kgs, and it has definitely given me the enormous kick up the arse I need! I feel so disappointed & angry at myself for getting so off track. And unfortunately a lot of my anger is aimed at my husband for leading me astray (he is off track big time at the moment!) but I have to remember it is not his fault - it is mine for not having enough willpower to say no!
This morning I had made the decision to just call into my WW meeting & be weighed & not stay for the actual meeting itself, as I have been struggling with getting the boys organised with toys & snacks to keep them quiet whilst the WW Leader is talking. However, I gave myself a huge talking to, made the effort to get organised, and stayed for the meeting. It is definitely something that I need to make sure I do each week - it is almost like therapy for me, and it definitely keeps me on the straight & narrow when I attend meetings. Weighing in just isn't enough - I can do that at home on my own!!! So, I am here & now making a commitment that I will attend my WW meeting each week (unless sick or on holidays) to keep me in check!
Okay, enough blabbering. I can do this. I know I can. I just have to believe in myself a little harder & dig deep to find that strength!
On a positive note, I am back into my xtrainer exercise with a vengeance! God, I love it. I feel lost when I haven't had my hour on it! How lucky I am to find an exercise that I thoroughly enjoy & am addicted to!! Going to have a great loss this week! Cannot wait for next week's weigh in already!!! haha!
Onwards & downwards.......

THIS IS IT!!

I've had my fun away - 12 nights in Bali, 9 nights in Cobram, and now it's back to reality. And I'm on a bloody mission! THIS IS IT! And that's exactly what I am calling it - my "THIS IS IT" mission! I have no more holidays planned for a long while, and nothing to derail me, so this is MY time - time for me to get to goal!
Had a great time away. Beautiful sunshine, relaxing, kids enjoying themselves, and of course also food, chocolate (that Easter Bunny has a lot to answer for!), and wine, wine & more wine! But I enjoyed it all, and now am ready for the hard work it's going to take to get me to my goal!
Can't really believe it, but after 4 enjoyable years of maternity leave, I start back at work tonight. Not sure why am I doing it, as I don't really need to work financially, but I think it may subconsciously be a little hard for me to let go of my fantastic workplace, and also I think I don't like the fact I will be an unemployed "kept" woman! Stupid, I know, but I will give working a shot, and if it causes too much grief with the family, then I will resign sooner rather than later.
Anyway, so glad today is the start of my THIS IS IT mission!

Time to reassess some goals - 1. Stay under my daily points total; 2. Exercise every day; 3.Drink water, water, water; 4.Plan all my meals daily; 5. Religiously track every morsel.

Here's to a new me... Onwards & downwards.....

The Rollercoaster Ride of Life!

Ah, how funny to see the title of my last post "Back on Track". Yes, I am back on track, but unfortunately derailed myself on the weekend with 10th Birthday celebrations for my first born! It started off on Friday night with wine to calm the nerves due to 8 x10 year old boys sleeping over. My God, what a noise they made!! All good intentions for the weekend were out the weekend with more drinking & naughty snacking! Was straight back on the wagon Monday morning, but wasn't enough to stop the inevitable gain I was going to have today. Yep, 500gms gain today. IF ONLY I had exercised over the weekend, I think I might have stayed the same on the scales! Oh well, I am here on WW for life, and I still have to enjoy myself along the way. Speaking of which, I am off to Cobram on Sunday for the last week of the school holidays & the Easter break. 9 days away & I just can't wait! I know I will be drinking most nights, but will ensure I have healthy snacks on hand & will be eating well. One thing I notice at the van is that my portion sizes increase, so that is something I will have to keep a close eye on. Will be taking my scales to weigh in each morning to keep track on how I am faring. Had an ultrasound on my leg this morning (for removal of my varicose vein). I'm all very excited about moving forward with the improvement of me & my body. The future is looking so bright & it's bloody exciting!!!! Happy Easter for next week (won't be posting due to being away!!) Onwards and downwards.....

Back On Track

Well, I finally seem to be back on track & am stoked to report a great loss of 1.8kgs this week. After a few issues with my meal sizes earlier in the week, I am so happy I had a great loss & chipped a huge chunk out of that Bali gain. Only 2.8kgs to get to my pre-Bali weight!!!
Had a conversation with a girlfriend this week about food & exercise. This girlfriend had lap band surgery 2 1/2 years ago & has lost about 40kgs, but she can't get down to her goal weight. She never exercises & doesn't eat well, and she was quizzing me about my exercise habits & if I think it really helps with weight loss. I've thought a lot about this conversation since, and it has really enlightened me to how much I have learned through Weight Watchers, and even the tips & healthy lifestyle I am passing onto my children. I feel sad for her, as although she has lost lots of weight & looks great, she can't enjoy a lovely meal when she goes out due to the lap band restrictions, and she hasn't learned anything about healthy eating & exercise to pass on to her daughters who are also battling weight problems. Such a big shame, and perhaps they should look at introducing a mandatory course lap band candidates have to take about healthy eating & exercise!?!? How bloody fantastic is Weight Watchers!?!? I just can't rave on about it enough - it is just a real program for real people!!! Real people LIKE ME who enjoy lovely food!!!
Onwards & downwards.............

Easy to Put On, Hard to Get Off!!!

How easy is weight to put on!??!! I think I can just look at a chocolate & I gain 100gms! That 4.6kgs was just sooooooooo easy to put on - took a whole 28 days for me to do it! Had a chat to myself last night on the xtrainer about portion sizes! No, I'm not crazy & don't actually talk to myself, just a deep think about my issues with the size of the meals I am dishing up. It's so bloody easy to fall back into bad habits, and at dinner last night, I noticed I had a double sized serve of my WW Gozleme dish, and then went & picked at the leftovers! I was full after one serving, but continued on regardless to my second serve, and then still went for more! WTF!?!? Something that I have to work on again is stopping when I feel full. It was so easy for 2 weeks in Bali to keep making trips back to the buffet to fill my plate even when I was full, because the food was just so yummy, and there was just so much to choose from. So, I have forgotten to listen to my tummy when it told me it was full! So, that's my goal for this week! Today was a fantastic day! I stayed within my 34ppts for the day and have just done 60min on the xtrainer. My portion sizes have been great today. Oh, and another thing I am going to work on as of Monday. My coffee consumption! My intake has been creeping up to 4-6 cups in the morning, and it is such a waste of those valuable points! Think I will just treat myself to coffees on the weekend, which is when I enjoy them most, or maybe just one in the morning, and then back onto green or ginger tea, which I really love & haven't been drinking much of lately. MUST SET MY MIND TO DO THIS! So, 2 goals for this week:-

Watch portion sizes & stop eating when tummy is full

Reduce coffee intake during the week

Love the fact that winter is well on it's way, and I can get back into all the yummy low point soups I love to make during the cold weather!!!

Onwards & downwards........

Bali, Bali, Bali !!!!

Back home to reality now after spending a GLORIOUS 12 days at Club Med in Bali. The first few days were horrible with the kids exhausted & adjusting to the time difference, but the last week of the trip was just absolute bliss! We made some new friends there (one couple from WA & one couple from Darwin) who we will keep in contact with long term. We are still in contact with a couple from Qld we met at Club Med in Malaysia!

Owen, my big brave boy, on the trapeze!!!

I had good intentions of exercising & eating well - got up early the first morning to get on the Xtrainer in the gym, but it was an old non-electric clunky machine that I just knew I wasn't going to be able to handle. Managed 40min on it, but didn't attempt it again after my ankle was sore the next day. Because Club Med is all inclusive, I ate everything in sight, although I can really tell how much I have been educated on the WW plan. I ate too much, but still chose wisely, and salad was an option I enjoyed often too. I always loaded up on desserts because I wanted to try them, but I think I only ate a full dessert twice the whole time. The food was just glorious, especially the Indonesian cuisine. YUM!

Drinking was out of control - cocktails, Baileys, vodkas, wine! You name it, I drank it all day long!!!

Will post some more photos of Bali soon!!

Back to earth with a clunk today. Weigh in saw a gain of 4.6kgs!! OUCH! Honestly wasn't expecting it to be that much, but I have no regrets about my holiday at all. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and cannot wait until the next Club Med holiday. Hubby & I are thinking of going back to Club Med Bali next year without the kids to celebrate our 40th Birthdays, which fall only 6 weeks apart. Sounds like a good plan to me!!!

So, I am now weighing 106.7kgs. Double ouch! I weighed this back at the beginning of Dec last year. That 100kgs goal was sooooo close, and now I have quite a few weeks until I will see it! Must admit, I put on most of that 4.6kgs in the week & half before we left for Bali, when we fell into "holiday mode". I think in Bali we sweated so much with the humidity, and did a lot of swimming & walking, so the damage wasn't that terrible. Half of that gain would be from my bad eating in Oz - have I learned nothing?!?!? However, we have some friends getting married in 9 weeks time, so I am setting myself the goal of getting to 95kgs by the wedding, and plan on getting something new to wear. So, the plan is to exercise like a trojan, get off the booze & chocolate, and stay motivated!!!

Goal weight, here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!

Onwards & downwards...........

And Another Thing....

2 posts in 1 day! Quite an achievement! haha! But I was just having a look at my blog, and looking at the ticker at the top of the page that is counting down my weightloss, and can I just say (yes, blowing my own trumpet!) that I think it is bloody awesome that I am so close to 100kgs! AND it's bloody amazing I have lost over 30kgs! I just want to remind myself of all this, to make sure I understand that wine & snacking will not get me anywhere & not help me achieve my goals!!!

I have made a list of some of things I want to get done when I lose some more weight.

1. Tattoo removal - I have a little tattoo on my good ankle that is just horrible, and something I regretted I think from the day I had it done. It is one of 3 tattoos I have, but the others are not in such an obvious place (one on my bikini line, and one on my back). I have already enquired about this removal, and it is something I want to reward myself with when I get under 100kgs.
2. Varicose vein removal - I have a large varicose vein that appeared not long after my car accident in my bad leg. My physio states it is from bad blood supply in that leg (and unfortunately varicose veins are hereditary, and my Mum has them!). It runs from the top front of my thigh and winds it way down my leg to my ankle. VERY big & unsightly & actually aches when I exercise. So when I lose another 20 or so kilos, I want it GONE!!
3. Spider Vein Treatment - I have some small spider veins on my legs. Not much of a bother, but I want them gone as well.
4. Boobs & maybe Tummy Tuck - I have always had very big boobs, and after breastfeeding 4 babies, gravity has taken hold! I want them reduced & lifted - Ahhhh, can't imagine how good that would look/feel!!! And depending on what my old tummy looks like in another 20-30kgs, I may get a tummy tuck done at the same time.

Okay, that's all for now. I am sure I will be adding to this list as I get smaller & I notice things wobbling, wrinkling, jiggling.......

A Post to Remind Me NOT TO DRINK!!

I am sitting here, with an upset tummy, a headache & exhaustion! Too many wines last night, and I want to remember this feeling, so I don't do it again! I don't know why I thought it was a good idea, but I poured a glass of wine with dinner, and then continued with the wine until I went to bed about 11pm. And as usual when I have been drinking, I had a shocking sleep! I was up from 3am til 4.30am, mainly just stressing about the flight to Bali (I have terrible anxiety about flying), and I just could not get back to sleep!!!
Won't go into the snacking that accompanied the wine. I will work that off in the next couple of days on the xtrainer. Just want to make sure I don't bother with wine again until Bali (well, cocktails in Bali anyway!!).
Onwards & downwards (with no more headaches!).......

100gms Loss. Dismal. Disappointing.

I deserve it! Only 100gms lost this week. Much better than a gain, and I should be thankful that I did not gain after my pigout on Monday night. BUT disappointing all the same!
Anyway, going to keep off the booze this week as much as possible. Not going to snack after dinner, and going to TRY and keep within my 33 daily propoints! This is my biggest challenge as I usually eat ALL my exercise points, and my weekly allowance as well.
Anyway, only 10 sleeps to Bali, and I want to work hard before I go, as I sure as hell know I am going to be eating & drinking everything in sight when I am there! CANNOT WAIT!!
Onwards & downwards.........

Febfast Success!!!

I honestly cannot believe I have done it! I have lasted 28 days without a drop of alcohol passing my lips! And it was so much easier than I could ever have imagined!
In the process, I have raised $370 for the Australian Drug & Alcohol Foundation! VERY proud of myself!!!
The funny thing was that I stayed up to Midnight on Feb 28th, just to have a couple of wines & vodkas! The next morning I paid for it - absolutely shattered from lack of sleep & a headache to boot. Think I will pass on the booze now until we head off to Bali in 11 sleeps!!
Speaking of which, Monday night (before staying up for the drinks!), I had a lapse in my thinking process. For some reason, whilst doing the dishes after dinner, I thought "holiday time - stuff it", and then proceeded to eat about 30ppts worth of cookies, chocolate biscuits & chips! This happens all the time with me when I am about to go on holidays. I go into "holiday mode" and have them mindset that I am going to gain weight anyway, so why not just give up a couple of weeks beforehand anyway! VERY frustrating! I am totally over my points now for this week, and my scales are showing a kilo gain! I am hoping to hell that I can undo the damage on the xtrainer, but if not, I am dreading slipping under that 30kg goal I achieved last week! FINGERS CROSSED for WI tomorrow!!!

I Did It!!! 30kgs Gone!!

YAY! I did it! Loss of 1.2kgs this week, brings my total weightloss to 30.5kgs! I just can't believe it!! It seems so surreal to be able to say "I've lost 30kgs!". As someone mentioned to me, it's the equivalent of 2 toddlers!!! Just amazing!
I absolutely exercised like a mad woman this week. Most days I did between 75-90 minutes on the xtrainer. And at the end of the week, I still had my 49pts from my weekly stash left over. I do however, still eat all my exercise points, and that is what I think is the beauty of the WW program. If you work for it, then you can have the extra points! Just LOVE it!!!
So only 18 sleeps now until Bali. And I am starting to panic about the amount of weight I will gain at Club Med with unlimited food & alcohol on offer. I really have to make myself get to the gym each morning for an hour on the xtrainer. If I can do that, then I will be so proud of myself! The problem is, I am already doubting myself in my ability to be strong enough to do it! Ho Hum! What will be, will be, and I will just work my arse off when I get home to minimise the damage done! I still have to enjoy myself afterall!
Only 4 days of Febfast left. Have so far raised an amount of $170 for charity, which is fantastic! Can't believe how easy I have found giving up the booze! At least I now know I can do it easily when I want to!
Now, onto my next goal of getting into double digits! Only 2.3kgs to lose, and how I would love to do that before Bali! Here's to another great week! Onwards & downwards..........

Nearly There!!!!

Oh, so bloody close!!! Loss of 1kg this week, which brings me only 700gms away from my 30kg goal!!! God, I better get there next week or I will be devastated!!!
This week has been a good week. I've still gone over my points every day & eaten my exercise points. I still had over 20 points left in the weekly stash last night, which is good. I think I would have better weight loss if I didn't eat all my exercise points, but I love my food too much!
Day 17 of Febfast, and to tell the honest to God truth, I haven't missed wine at all! Don't get me wrong, I will be definitely having a wine on March 1st, but I am just surprised at how easily I have been able to give it up. Not once have I thought I would fail in doing this challenge! I'm quite impressed with myself!
We were given the mother of all zucchinis this week, and I have been baking like a mad woman - zucchini cakes & zucchini slice, and zucchini has been hidden in all our meals! I love zucchini, but it is something the rest of the family are not fond of, so I have had to disguise it. The zucchini pasta sauce was a huge success, and something I will definitely be repeating!


Looking forward to another week of hard work on the xtrainer to reach my goal!
Onwards & downwards.......

Day 10 of Febfast!

Cannot believe I have reached 10 days without alcohol!! Amazing! I really thought it would be a struggle, but I have found it so easy & not tempted in the slightest! Only 18 more days to go, and then I am going to celebrate with a nice bottle of wine!
Had a loss of 600gms this week. And would just like to say.... NOT HAPPY JAN! I have been bloody perfect all week! Exercised every day, tracked every morsel, not touched alcohol, and to have such a little result is really disappointing! Was really hoping for a big one to get me closer to that 30kg goal!!!
As hubby says, my body is changing & maybe I am building up a little muscle too from all my hours on the xtrainer. I guess this may be true, but it just seems I have been chasing this 30kgs for AGES! Will try & get there next week or the week after for sure!

40kgs to Go!!

Fantastic loss of 1.4kgs for me this week! WHOOO HOOOO!! Better than I expected after my big night out on Saturday night. I now have only 40kgs EXACTLY to lose until goal - that sounds so much better than 67+kgs to go!!
It is day 3 of Febfast, and I know I am going to be able to last the whole month. It's even "naughty Thursday" today & I don't care that I am not going to have a wine! I just keep thinking of how good my losses are going to be without wine & the snacking that accompanies it! It is the one thing that blows my points out the water every week!
Only 2.3kgs to hit my 30kgs goal, and only 5.1kgs til I am in double digits. 5 weeks until Bali, and I am going to make sure I reach both of those goals before then!!!
My WW leader has left our meeting. She was absolutely fantastic, and I loved her so much!!! The new leader is a first timer, and a bit quiet & nervous today when she took the meeting. I felt for her, as I know how hard it must be to be speaking up in front of everyone for the first time! However, I just know she will be inspirational to me - she has lost 62kgs to get to her goal - so I will be reminded every time I see her, that if SHE can do it, then I can do it too!!!
Onwards & downwards......

Updated Photos

Have just taken some updated photos. The first photos are from August 2009, the middle ones are September 2010 & the last ones are from January 2011. Still a long way to go, but I am glad I am not that person in the purple shirt anymore!!!

Weekly ProPoints Totals (27 Jan - 2 Feb 2011)

Daily Points of 34, Weekly Stash of 49pts

Thursday 27/1 - 42pts used (19pts exercise earned) Had a good day points-wise, but fell victim to my beloved Hot Cross Buns! Oh, how I love them with melted, dripping butter... yum yum!
Friday 28/1 - 48pts (18pts exercise earned) Pizza for dinner, and oh, how yuk I felt after 3 pieces of it. It's so hard to track pizza on WW, so I always overestimate - tonight I tracked 20pt for it, which is probably well over what it was worth, but anyway, just to be sure I'll keep it at that! 65min on the xtrainer & a 3 hour walk around Melbourne Zoo was enough exercise for me today!!
Saturday 29/1 - 109pts (16pts exercise earned) Had a huge night out so made sure I had lots of points saved up, both weekly stash & exercise earned. Too many bottles of wine consumed (5 in total I think), but very proud of how I did eating out - stuck to seafood & vegies!! Have decided to participate in Febfast - no drinking for me for a whole 28 days! AND I am going to do it!!!
Sunday 30/1 - 45pts (20pts exercise earned) Hung over today and it was a HOT 40 deg Melbourne day! Still managed 75min on the xtrainer, although I had to do it in intervals due the heat! Would have stayed under points if my mother didn't bring around a quiche, of which I had a slice!! First accident with the xtrainer - Aidan dropped something & got caught under the pedal as I pushed down. Lots of tears & a nice bruise! Very lucky it wasn't something more serious!!! Knew there was a reason I had a fire screen around it, and of course, today was the day I didn't place it correctly to cover the moving parts!!!
Monday 31 /1 - 68pts (16pts exercise earned) Went over my points with a bottle of champers, since I am starting Febfast tomorrow! Wanted one last drink before I was dry for 28 days!!!
Tuesday 1/2 - 37pts (16pts exercise earned) NEARLY stayed within points, but overdid it at lunch time, because I forgot to eat brekkie!
Wednesday 2/2 - 42pts (16pts exercise earned) Maybe I just have to accept that I am going to go over my points daily & eat some of my extra points. I guess that is what they are there for, and when I am exercising, I guess I am entitled to eat those extra points too. Still have 17pts remaining of my weekly stash, so very happy with that!!!

A Decent Loss

Loss of 1.1kgs for me today. Was a quite a surprise that I lost so much, as I wasn't expecting it after my blowouts, especially the one yesterday. I only have 500gms to lose now to get back to my pre Christmas weight. Was hoping to get there this week, but will definitely get there next week, and then will aim for the next goal of "30kgs lost", and then that extremely ellusive goal (the one I have been dreaming about for so long!) of getting into double digits under 100kgs! I want to be there before we leave for Bali in 6 weeks time!!!!
Could not put into words my disappointment with myself this morning when I woke up. I had busted my arse all week on the xtrainer, and then to stuff all my efforts up the day before weigh in is just ridiculous! I just cannot think of a reasonable explanation for it, other than I am just too weak when it comes to wine. So I must stay away from it - just stick to planned days when I know I am going to drink, and not be tempted at any other time. Geeze, I sound like a right alcoholic, but it is not the alcohol that is the problem, it's the snacking I do when I drink - almost like a dope smoker who gets the munchies - I get the uncontrollable munchies when I drink!
Anyway, we are planning a big night on Saturday night. It's a friend's 40th Birthday & he has decided go to a bar in the city, so we are having dinner there & staying on for a band later on. My parents are minding our kids, so we are planning a nice grown up night out! Really looking forward to it, and will make sure I have all my weekly stash + extra exercise points to cover the drinking on that night!
Will get some updated photos done this week also for my blog. Need a progress shot taken to see the difference. We were looking at our last overseas holiday photos yesterday, and I was astonished at the size of myself. My daughter announced "Mum, look how fat you are in those pictures! Gee you've lost a lot of weight". Was nice to hear!
Onwards & downwards......

Weekly ProPoints Totals (20-26 Jan 2011)

My Daily points are 34, with a bonus weekly stash of 49pts. Would love to be able to have my weekly stash still at 49pts by the end of the week, and only use up my exercise points for when I need more than 34pts a day!

Thursday 20/1 - 81pts used (16pts exercise earned) Major blow out again with bloody wine & potato chips!!!
Friday 21/1 - 41pts used (25pts exercise earned) Had a good day, but went over points whilst baking cupcakes (had to try them out of course!!). Did 90min on the xtrainer & felt fantastic!!!
Saturday 22/1 - 78pts used (14pts exercise earned) Had a party to attend that started at 5.30pm (dinner time) but was good & only snacked on a few things, even though there was not one thing available that was healthy & low fat! Drove & drank water all night, but when we got home, I once again had wine & snacks! ARGH!!!
Sunday 23/1 - 46pts used (16pts exercise earned) Had some ice cream cake today that I worked out later to be about 13pts!! Ouch! Would have been under points for the day if it hadn't been for that! Really struggled on the xtrainer, but still did an hour - think I may have overdone on it on Friday night with the 90min workout!
Monday 24/1 - 35pts used (16pts exercise earned) Had a lovely day at home with delicious Spicy Lamb Gozleme for dinner. Recipe was in Jan 2011 WW magazine. The kids loved it so much they want it for dinner tomorrow night! Struggled again on the xtrainer but still did 60min.
Tuesday 25/1 - 57pts used (12pts exercise earned) Hubby & I went & saw Billy Connolly at the Arts Centre - was fantastic. But we were early, so enjoyed our "grown up" time alone with a couple of wines, that unfortunately continued when we got home, so once again I blew my points!
Wednesday 26/1 - 92pts used (19pts exercise earned) WTF am I doing?? I am so bloody pissed off & annoyed with myself. Had a fantastic day, still had 20+ weekly points in my stash, so was really proud of myself! Then we called into my parents place & had a couple of champers & lamingtons with cream for Australia Day! But of course, I then had the taste for it, so the wine drinking continued when we got home & of course, so did a lot of snacking! Why the hell do I keep sabotaging myself?!!? I cannot even put into words how annoyed I am with myself!

Blowouts!

I hd 3 days of blowouts this week. The usual "naughty Thursday" blowout, but then again on Monday & then last night - the night before weigh in!! What the hell was I thinking?!? I's bad enough once a week (and I can make up for the blowout in the days to come with exercise) but why the hell did I do it again TWICE?!?!
However, I still had a loss of 1kg today, which was good, but undeserving. And that kilo was probably all that extra milk I have been carrying, as my boobs seemed to have settled down a lot since last week!? All I know is I am kicking myself, cause I reckon I would have had a big loss if I had of stuck on track all week. I worked my butt off on the xtrainer every day this last week!!
Anyway, TODAY is a new day, and I am going to stay on track ALL this week! I need to lose another 1.6kgs to get to my pre Christmas weight, and then I want to get to under 100kgs before we leave for Bali in 7 weeks. I can do it! I WILL do it!
I am going to get back to posting my daily points totals. Keeps me accountable & makes me think twice about blowing out.
Onwards & downwards......

A Big Gain :(

A gain of 2.6kgs this week. Was definitely not expecting that much, so am slightly disappointed. However, I should be proud of the fact that I only gained that little bit over a 4 week period of not following the WW plan or exercising! I am guessing that at least a kilo (or even more) is from these enormous boobs full of milk, so will expect better results as the milk dries up - if only that would be sooner rather than later!
Anyway, today is Day 4 of being back on track. Feeling really good about WW & staying focused. Planning on continuing the week how I have started, and hopefully make a big dent in that 2.6kg gain!!!
Onwards & downwards......

I'm Baaaccckkk!! Christmas, Wine & Weaning...

Wow, can't believe how quickly 4 weeks have passed since my last weigh in at WW & my last blog posting! So much has happened! Where do I begin?
Firstly, went straight into holiday mode once I realised I wouldn't be venturing to WW until after Christmas! Did someone say wine? chocolate? ice cream? chips? Well, truthfully, I wasn't all that bad, but I didn't count my points or watch what I ate, and exercise, well, that went out the window! It was just too busy in the build up to Christmas!
Paige turned 8 a couple of days before Christmas, and we celebrated with a family dinner out at a gourmet pizza restaurant (her choice!). Then Christmas was upon us, and we had a brilliant Christmas eve with my side of the family. A huge dinner at my parents house, just around the corner (walking distance home after many wines!). Christmas Day was at my in laws in Geelong. And then Boxing Day we headed away to our van in Cobram for 9 nights. Was a lovely time, although the mosquitoes were unbelievable!!! Hubby had to work, so wasn't there the whole time which I found to be a bit of a challenge from time to time, but luckily my parents were there in their caravan nearby.
Anyway, lots of wine consumed, and too many nibblies. Mainly potato chips being my downfall. The kids don't often have them at home, so it's seen as a treat when we are away.
Tried weaning Aidan when we got to Cobram. Told him he couldn't have "boobies" when we were there. Worked for a couple of days, but the screaming at 5am, 6am & 7am wasn't enjoyable for the patrons of a caravan park (or our family!), so back on the boob he went. However, when we got home, it was all over - no boobies at home I told him, and it has now been 8 days since he has had a breastfeed! What a big boy! He moped for a few days, constantly asked for boobies & to go back to the caravan for boobies, but I was strong & didn't give in. Have been asked by many if I am feeling sad, but to tell the truth, I am only a little bit. I was really over it, and not enjoying it. He's such a cuddler, so it's still nice that he wants to cuddle me all the time, which is just the emotional attachment I think he needs.
Anyway, in a little bit of pain with extremely full breasts of milk. Have just expressed a little for the first time in the shower tonight as it was uncomfortable. Seems to be the worst after I drink a lot of water on the xtrainer at night. They are so full & really heavy, so I am guessing it will contribute to any weight gain I have at weigh in tomorrow!
Really struggled to get back into it when I returned to Cobram. Was still in holiday mode, and enjoying my nightly wine & snacking with hubby. Had a big drink up on Sunday night, which I think helped things "click" in my head, and have been back on the wagon since Monday, with daily exercise of 60+ minutes on the xtrainer.
First weigh in back at Weight Watchers tomorrow morning, and I am expecting about a 2kg gain. I think at least a kilo of this must be due to these enormous full boobs, but the rest is from the last 4 weeks of being off track.
We have 9 weeks til we go on holiday to Club Med in Bali. Cannot wait, but disappointed that we didn't book it later in the year when I had lost more weight. Going to really try & get down to at least 95kgs by then. A big ask, but as always, I like setting goals that are hard for me to achieve, it gives me more drive!
Will report in tomorrow with details of my gain. Will not be happy if it is a lot more than 2kgs!!
Onwards & downwards.....