M.I.A.

It's been a while since my last post.  I have been MIA cause I just haven't had much to write about.  

So, my last post I mentioned we were driving to Sydney & back for Greg to ride in the Sydney Ride to Conquer Cancer.  The journey both to & from Sydney was long, but not too bad with the kids who were kept entertained with DVDs, and all their electronic gadgets.  The 4yo had many "Are we there yet?" moments, but nothing too unbearable.

It was wonderful to meet Greg's fellow group of riders, the Vision Crusaders - what a wonderful bunch of people this group is - all coming together to raise funds to find a cure for cancer.  I did feel sad as they all rode off on Day 1 that I wasn't riding with them, but leaving 4 kids locked in a hotel room for the weekend to fend for themselves wasn't an option!!!

We spent the Saturday at Taronga Zoo, and I caught up with one of my gorgeous Sydney girlfriends Megan & her 2 beautiful kids.  Absolutely lovely day.  That night the kids & I drove out to the camp ground of the RTCC to have dinner & spend some time with the Greg & the riders.  The next morning we made sure we were ready to snap the team coming over the finish line.

There's been a few hiccups with my new job - just trying to finalise dates of training and a start date with it, but thankfully that was all sorted.  We had a farewell cruise last weekend for my current department.  I can't believe that the end is nigh, and after 11 years I will be changing jobs.  It's been a bit of an emotional roller coaster, and with the last day coming up this Thursday, there are sure to be many tears shed!

Greg also was away in Perth last weekend for the Perth RTCC.  I am so proud of what he is doing.  I don't think anyone realises the impact that all these rides have on the families left back home - both emotionally and financially.  It's such a huge thing, but of course, I wouldn't change it for the world - after all we're making a difference with our fundraising for a cure to conquer cancer!

So, how's my 12wbt been going?  Well, it hasn't been "going".  I've just been in a funk.  And the funk has made me feel like shite, and then feeling like shite causes me to continue my funk.  It's a hole I haven't been able to claw my way out of.... yet.

So, here's a list of the things that I am struggling with:

1. I'm not eating breakfast (due number 5 on this list & not being hungry in the mornings)
2. I'm drinking too much coffee
3. I'm not exercising4. I am drinking wine too often5. I am night time snacking 6. Drinking makes me an insomniac so I am exhausted all day long
7. I am not drinking water
8. I am disgusted with myself, and self loathing is at an all time high

So, I've come up with a different list.  A list to help me claw my way out of the funk & get back on track.  And it starts today.

1. I will eat breakfast every single day
2. I will drink coffee only on the weekends, and herbal tea Monday to Friday
3. I will track my calories.  I absolutely hate MyFitnessPal as I find it so time consuming, so I will go back to manually tracking on a piece of paper (worked for me in the first round!)
4. I will drink water all day long
5. I will exercise 6 days a week
6. I will not snack in the evenings.  If I have calories left over I will have fruit or yoghurt only
7. Wine is for special occasions.  I will not use it as an excuse to "wind down" in the evenings
8. I will join the next round of 12wbt and I will bloody well follow it
9. I will attempt to stop feeling the disgust for myself I am currently battling with

So, there's my plan.  As I said in an earlier post, I'm taking it one day at a time until I'm out of this hole.  

Onwards & downwards.....

For F*ck's Sake Friday 11th October

Another week gone by & it's time to reflect on the FFS moments of the last 7 days....


Went for a ride with a group of women on Sunday from Werribee to Lara & back... No FFS

The wind was a mofo....... FFS

With 20km to go of the 70km ride, I started cramping in my calf muscles, then my thighs... FFS

Sunday's long ride

Made it another 15kms, but had to throw in the towel with 5kms to go, with cramping in both legs... FFS

I have a serious potty mouth when I am in pain....FFS

But did manage to get out on the bike on Monday without any cramping... No FFS

And crossed the line for my donations for my Adelaide Ride - whoo hoooo..... No FFS

Received news from a friend & fellow riding team mate that her mother died unexpectedly on Monday..... FFS

Heartbreaking & so very, very sad.... FFS

And then are blown away by another shock - the team captain of the Vision Crusaders is told he has leukaemia... FFS

It's why we ride to raise money for a cure.... No FFS

Monday's short ride

Make you realise that life is too short.... FFS

Only 3 weeks to go before being made redundant (8 more shifts) & applied for a job internally at work.... No FFS

Found out last night I was successful & got the job! WOOT! ..... No FFS

Feel like a load has been lifted from shoulders & I can start to breathe again.... No FFS

Greg has the Sydney Ride to Conquer Cancer this weekend.... No FFS

Will be an emotional event with the team captain in hospital receiving his chemo..... FFS

The kids & I are going with Greg to be the cheer squad.... No FFS

But we're driving from Melbourne to Sydney.... FFS

10 hours in the car with 4 kids - Lord help me!!! .... FFS

It's For Fuck's Sake Friday Again!!! 4th October

Fridays seem to roll around so quickly, which isn't a bad thing!  Here's my run down of the week!  It's FFS Friday!


It's the last week of the school holidays & the weather in Melbourne has been shocking with rain & gale force winds.....FFS

Upset all our plans for the week & the many zoo visits we wanted to make, including our first visit to Healesville Sanctuary.... FFS

I love the school holidays and all my sleep ins... No FFS

But I miss my regular bike riding... FFS

Just picked up my bike today from having it serviced, and can't wait to get out on it..... No FFS

Going for a 70km ride with a group of girls tomorrow morning and can't wait... No FFS

There better not be any magpies... FFS

Brownies did not last long!!!

Have had my domestic goddess cap on this week & done a bit of cooking & ice cream making... No FFS

Kids have been thoroughly impressed by the stranger in the kitchen their mother.... No FFS

Have been to the dentist this morning with Paige, who will be getting a root canal next week... FFS

She's not worried at all because she doesn't know what she's in for.... No FFS

I'm in for a bill of $750!!! ..... FFS

I should have picked a career as a dentist... FFS

Did my first real weights session last night with Greg.... No FFS

I may have called him a f&cking arsehole every name under the sun!... FFS

I could hardly swing my arm around behind me whilst driving the car today to slap discipline one of the  kids.... FFS

I love the feeling of DOMs though... No FFS

Feel like I am FINALLY back on track, and finally off the wine, but taking it one day at a time... No FFS

Believe from a friend, Scrambled egg whites,  weights session

Only 27 days of work left for me.... FFS

But I've applied for a couple of jobs internally at my work & hopefully something will come of it - fingers crossed.... No FFS

Signed up for the 2014 Brisbane Ride to Conquer Cancer.... No FFS

Have been reminded today with some bad news that cancer doesn't discriminate..... FFS

It's why we ride & do what we can to get the funds for cancer research.... No FFS



I still have $258 to go until I qualify for the Adelaide Ride to Conquer Cancer in November.  If you'd like to make a donation, you can do so here...

The October Weigh Out

I've joined a group of like minded ladies for "The Weigh Out".  It's to help us stay focussed during October.  We had to make a commitment to ourselves and share it with the group, so here is mine....

So, this morning here I am with my cup of tea, and no Facebook.  I usually sit on FB for my cuppa each morning, but instead, I'll read the news online!  I might even play a game of "Master Mind" with my eldest!!!

Today also is the first day of OcSober, which is an online charity thing a bit like FebFast & all those other stay off the booze for charity events.  I'm not signing up online for it, but Greg, our training buddy Dayna & myself will be doing it just for ourselves!  Although we will be enjoying a well earned drink after riding 100kms on October 26th!

So here's to a fresh month, a new commitment, and getting back to double digits!!!  Bring it on!