Bring It On!!!!

Back in May, a local newspaper did a story on hubby and I about our fundraising for the Ride to Conquer Cancer.  Of course they wanted photos of us with our bikes, but there was NO WAY I was going to get into bike shorts in a photo in the paper.  I was embarrassed enough that my big fat mug was going on display for all to see!

The Page 2 Article

To my absolute shock & horror, our picture & story appeared on bloody PAGE TWO!!!  Oh, the embarrassment when I received text messages from friends, when the Kinder teachers mentioned the article, when I walked into my work & the article was plastered up on the wall!!!!

One of the pictures I bought from the newspaper

I just received this picture above from the newspaper today.  We both look so puffy & tired, and I just can't believe that was us 6 weeks ago!  Thinking back to the embarrassment of the article in the paper, all I was thinking was that I didn't want anyone seeing how huge I am.  What way is that to live my life?  I should have been thankful that the paper was promoting Peter Mac, and the Ride to Conquer Cancer.   And all I could worry about was what people would say.  How very sad.

But, I am on to a new chapter in my life, and am just so grateful to Michelle Bridges and her program.  I am loving life!  I am living life!  This is how it should always have been!!!  I just cannot wait for what the future holds for me, my husband & our family.  BRING IT ON!!!

How Many Sleeps?

There is a HUGE couple of months coming up in my life, and I am getting so excited & anxious about them.  Have just worked out how many sleeps...

• 65 sleeps til we go to Perth for the 12wbt Finale

• 70 sleeps until my 40th Birthday!!

• 97 sleeps until we go on our Bali holiday (child free!)

• 115 sleeps until the 200km The Ride to Conquer Cancer Bike Ride

So excited that I will be taking these all on with less weight, a new look on life & hubby who is sharing this fantastic journey with me!!!

BRING IT ON!!!

Day 30...

WOW!!!  It is now exactly 30 days since we started this journey.  And weigh this morning was a loss of 2.1kgs!  Can I hear a whoop whoop?!?!?  Just absolutely amazed that I have lost a total of 8.7kgs in 30 days.  6.9% of my body weight!  And I am feeling bloody fantastic!!!  Why hadn't I stumbled onto "clean" eating before?

Quite amazingly, this clean eating has reduced our rubbish!  We usually have 2 full bins to put out on rubbish collection day, but now we only have one!  Isn't that interesting?  Less packaged food being eaten in this house, and it is having a positive effect on the environment as well!

Onwards & downwards.......

Sick :(

Came down with a cold really quickly.  Hit me like a ton of bricks on Saturday at work, then Sunday I lost my voice.  Didn't deter me from exercising & eating well though.  Saturday we had our PT session at 6.30am (loving our PT!!), and then I went for a short bike ride.  It was supposed to be a big bike ride, but I had my bike in for a service, and due to the bike shop owner being sick, he closed the shop & I couldn't pick the bloody thing up!!!  Yeah, thanks mate!  Borrowed a friend's bike, but it just wasn't happening!  Uncomfortable indeed.  Sunday was pouring with rain, so I walked laps of our underground carpark at work.  Although I didn't feel up to doing the stairs that I usually do, I was proud that I did at least walk for half an hour.
Hubby stayed home from work today to give me rest & look after the kids (it's school holidays).  I had a big sleep in and I've woken feeling so much better. I wonder if I got over this really quickly because of the excellent fuel I am currently running my body on?  Food for thought!
Speaking of food for thought, here are some of the delicious meals we've been having on the 12wbt.... nom nom nom.....

Tuna Niscoise Salad

Scrambled eggs & salad

Chicken & broccolini Laksa

Chicken Rice Paper Rolls

I think I forgot to mention that hubby's blog was one of the Top 10 inspirational blogs in a 12wbt competition.  He won a skincare gift pack, and a teapot & tea gift set.  How nice of him to win a couple of prizes for ME! haha!  So proud of him & his achievements in the last 4 weeks.  I am loving where this 12wbt is taking us as a couple!

My weight this morning - PLEASE LORD let it be this or LESS than this come Wednesday morning!!!  Whoop Whoop!!!

Stumbled across this hilarious post on a blog I read.... all parents (or parents to be) need to check this out for a chuckle..... Ten Things I Want to Tell New Parents

The Biggest Reason for Doing This.....

Monday night we have weekly swimming lessons for the kids.  My eldest has stopped his lessons as he is a terrific and competent swimmer.  We were sitting side by side on the wooden benches, watching the little two have their lessons (daughter was in the other pool behind us), and he reached down & patted my leg and said "Mum, I am very proud of you and all you're doing to lose weight & to get fit & healthy".   Just a flippant comment, out of the blue.  I nearly burst out sobbing there & then.  THIS is the reason I need to do this.  These kids are my everything, and they should have a mum they are proud of, and who can set them the best example of how to live a healthy life.

Just received a message from a friend, who had stumbled across this blog (via my husband's blog).  My first thought was of panic.  Shit, she knows how much I weigh!  And OMG she knows all my failures & has seen my fat photos!  Argggghhhh.  I raced to hubby's blog to find out where the link was, but then I thought.... SO WHAT?!!?  I'm not going to be this fat ever again.  I have made the decision to FINALLY put an end to all the excuses.  I like where hubby and I are heading together, and I should not be embarrassed by my journey to my ultimate goal.  So, this is me.  I weigh 117.7kgs (as of this morning), and I am not going to stop until I get to 65kgs!  Bring it on!!!!

The Demon Called Self Doubt!

Well, had a very deflated day yesterday, and went for a long bike ride, and during it, I had lots of time to think.  Self doubt starting creeping back in!  I can't do this 12wbt - I'm not losing enough weight.  I can't do the exercise every day - I don't have time.  I can't do the 200km bike ride in October - I am not fast enough & I have sore knees.  Self doubt?  Or excuses????  The self doubt thankfully didn't lead to any self sabotage, which is what it would have led to in the past!  I am committed 100% to my clean food intake in this 12wbt, and am not tempted by foods (although the potato chips the kids snacked on yesterday afternoon smelt SOOO good!).
And yes, potato chips.  I am not going to deprive my kids of treats.  Just because we aren't eating crap, doesn't mean the kids can't have an occasional treat.  They are great healthy eaters, and I am happy with their diets!

I caught up for a chit chat with girlfriends last night, and on the table were bowls of lollies, chocolate, chips, dip & bikkies, but I stayed strong! And today I have woken with a new attitude, no more self doubt.  My day was made even brighter with my weight on the scales - 118.1kgs, a drop of 1.1kgs overnight.  Oh, why does it always happen a day later!??!?!

Anyway, in regards my self doubt, I am going to battle with these thoughts & win....

• I can do this 12wbt - as of today I've lost 7.7kgs in 24 days!  That's amazing!!!
• I can do the exercise EVERY day!  I have time, I just have to MAKE it!!!
• I can do the 200km bike ride in October.  I just have to train harder & more often.  And even if it takes me 10 hours a day to ride it,  I will DO it.  It is nothing in comparison what people battling cancer are going through!

I am sure self doubt will rear its ugly head often through this journey, but as long as it doesn't lead to sabotage, I will be fine.  I can battle it & win out, and kick major goals.  I also have the unwavering support of my husband & best friend, who are both doing AMAZING on this as well, and who are both doing the bike ride with me in October!  

Onwards & downwards......

WTF!?!?!?

Yep, just checked my blog, as I am sure I posted a pic the other day showing the scales at 119kgs!  And then a couple of days later they were 118.4kgs.  But TODAY, which is weigh in day, they are 119.2kgs.  WTF!?!?!  A 300gm loss for the week!  I have kept to the plan, I have been exercising!  Where did I go wrong!?!?!?  The only thing I could think of that wasn't 100% was that I didn't drink much water yesterday, but surely that wouldn't lead to a gain.
Okay, rant over.  As a friend has said, it's a loss, and it all goes toward the end result in the grand scheme of things.  Just have to keep positive & keep slogging away at it, and I will get there.
Did my measurements last night & have lost 24cm overall, so that is something positive this week I guess.
I will NOT be disheartened, I will NOT be disheartened!

Monday Funny!

Saw this on Facebook and had to share!  Love it!!!

Ouch!!!

Our PT sessions we have organised are at 6.30am on Saturday mornings.  Nice and handy for us, as it is convenient that the 4 kids are still in bed, and the older ones look after the younger ones when they wake, until we can come inside from the garage.  And I really like the Personal Trainer Dee.  She's no nonsense & says it how it is!
Our first week was just a fitness test that will be revisited every 6 weeks.  This week, we did boxing.  All I can say this morning, a day later, is OUCH!!  It even hurts typing this post!!!
BUT I love it!  I absolutely loved boxing classes when I did them all those years ago, and we're talking about 20 year ago, and yesterday I absolutely loved it too.  There is something about smashing my fist into something that I get absolute pleasure out of!!  I wish I could do it every day.  Hubby and I are going to look into buying some gloves & pads, and doing some boxing ourselves.  Bring it on!!!

My Inspiration Board....

Last week we were set the task on the 12wbt to create an inspiration board.  And here is mine.....

It contains the following:

• Hubby - who is in this with me, and who I love dearly.  I want to look good & feel sexy for him.  We are also doing the Cancer bike ride in October, and I don't want to let him down by being slow & unfit on the ride!
• My 4 kids - I want to be the best version of myself for them, and be a great role model for them as they grow up.  Especially my daughter, as I don't want her to follow in my footsteps of weight battles.
• Clothes - I want to be able to wear gorgeous dresses when we go out & feel comfortable in jeans, and wear a nice tankini on holidays, and not feel like everyone is looking at me, the fat one!
• Fat photos - I will NEVER look like this again!
• Inspirational messages - these keep me in line & remind me why I am doing this!
• Boxing gloves & runners - The "tools" we are using.  We've bought new runners, and we've hired our own PT for Saturday morning sessions in our garage.  We've also bought a new weight station & of course, my trusty xtrainer is a getting a work out too
• Wine - Oh how I miss my white wine in the evenings.  But we are going cold turkey on the wine for 12 weeks to keep ourselves 100% focussed and on task.
• Bali - We're going on a child free holiday in October, and I want to feel fantastic and comfortable with myself.  Also going back in March 2013, and I've promised to take the kids to WaterBom park, and I want to get on those waterslides with my kids!!!!!

The Hunger Games

Well, not exactly fun & games, but I have been feeling hungry the last 2 1/2 weeks eating only 1200 calories.  Looking back, I must have been consuming about 3000-4000 calories a day when not being careful with what I ate!!!  I could easily do 1200 calories on coffees in a day!!!!
For lunch, I now eat a wrap or a sandwich, yes, just one single wrap or sandwich. I would always eat 2 sandwiches at least!  When I dish up dinner, I look forlornly at the huge pile of food on my 11 year old's plate, and then at my own bare plate.  BUT, the strange thing is, I am beginning to like the feeling I have of hunger.  Now, don't get me wrong, it's not ravenous hunger.  When I feel like that, I have an early lunch, or a snack to tide me over to my next meal.  It's hard to explain.  For instance, I have just had a cup of green tea, a bowl of muesli & yoghurt with Skinny Milk, and I still have a feeling of hunger - like I could eat another 2 bowls of it!  So, really I have had enough to satisfy myself, but I still have a little niggling feeling of hunger.  Does that make sense?  Anyway, it is this feeling that I am learning to love.  It's like I know I am doing something right.  Strange, but I'll run with it.

Last Monday, under 120kgs!  Whoot Whoot!

Today, weighing in at 119kgs!  

Yes, I know I shouldn't weigh in every day (or at night, or after a shower, or after a wee, or after exercising), but I just can't help it....  "My name is Julie & I am a serial weigher"!  I find it helps to keep me on track.  If I see the scales not moving, I know I have to up the anti a bit.  And if the scales ARE moving, then I know I'm on the right track.
Monday I did a happy dance when I finally weighed in at under 120kgs!  Whoot Whoot!  Yes, I know that feeling, and have been there before (*sigh*), but I swear I will never be back there again!
By the end of this 12wbt, I plan on being under 110kgs.  9kgs to go in 9 weeks & I am going to SMASH it!!!  And of course, there is my ultimate goal of being in double digits!  I just cannot imagine how great that would feel.  I was right there last year before we went to Bali in March, before everything became unravelled - I think I weighed in that week at about 100.3kgs!  Oh, how I am desperate for this!
Hubby is still on a hot roll with his weightloss too, and he's even started his own blog.  He hasn't ceased to amaze me in the last couple of weeks!!!
Check out his blog here....    20 Years of Living in the Dark

Onwards & downwards.....

Grumpy Pants!!

Geez, I am SOOOO bloody grumpy!!  And the poor kids have copped the brunt of it today!  I don't know what is wrong with me, but I am just sooooooo tired, and I could've just lay down anytime today for a big sleep.
Michelle Bridges had a live feed on her website last night & she was answering questions from the 12wbt members.  She mentioned that Week 3 is generally the time when you feel a slump coming on, and boy, was she right!  I just feel so lazy.  And all I want to do is eat!  Of course, I am still exercising, even when I would prefer to be laying about on the couch in my pjs & Ugg boots!!!  Speaking of which, just got my first pair of Ugg boots this week, and can I just say "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME HOW COMFY THEY ARE"????  I do have to confess, I did wear them once to Kinder pick up, and I think I will be wearing them a few times over the next few very cold winter weeks to work!!!!  I am going to ignore the thought that only bogans wear Ugg boots!  I just love them, and wish I had of bought another pair in a different colour (mine are chocolate).
Anyway, I digress!  Even though I want to be lazing about, I am living by the saying hubby and I use frequently - "NO EXCUSES"  and Michelle's saying "JFDI" (Just F^&^%^ Do It).   It's tough, but I think of how I want to look and feel, and it helps to spur me on.  My eating has been brilliant too - clean & simple, and I am feeling wonderful for it.
Onwards & downwards......

Man Vs Woman

Well, we're into week 3 now of the 12wbt, and hubby and I are still going great guns.  But I thought I'd take a minute to write about the frustrations of men losing weight and women losing weight.
TTOM (That Time of Month) arrived for me last night, and then with my sneaky daily weigh in, it showed a gain of 200gms overnight as well.  How frustrating is it for us women, that once a month we must be heavier because of TTOM!!  ARRGGHHH I could scream.  Of course, before TTOM we have to go through the emotional hormonal roller coaster  - last night I bit off hubby's head & spat it out just because I was tired & grumpy & didn't get to sit down on the couch until 9.30pm!!!   And then the hormonal "need" to eat as much crap as possible.  Thankfully, I am well on track with my eating, so when I noticed my increased hunger in the last few days, I made good choices.   For instance, I had 2 wraps yesterday instead of one, but I had the extra calories cause I was only having pumpkin soup for dinner.
But of course, the husband is going great guns.  He even did a boxing class last night at a local gym.  So very proud of him, but also a bit in awe, as I have never known him to want to exercise or be fit since we have known each other.  So glad he had his lightbulb moment.  For his sake & for mine - it makes it so much easier for me when he is focussed & on track!
And of course, my best friend is also on this journey & going great guns.  So proud of her too.  I know how hard it is to be a working Mum & stay on track, but she is a machine when she puts her mind to something!
Something that I thought about last night whilst doing the laundry (at 10.30pm!!!!) in my foul premenstrual mood.  Michelle Bridges, in the week 1 of the 12wbt, said that there is no excuse to not exercise.  If the previous Prime Minister of Australia could make time to exercise each morning, then surely we could.
Well, I am sure the PM didn't have to do his own washing, and that of 5 other family members!  I am sure he didn't have to prepare any meals, let alone that of a family of 6.  I am sure he didn't have to run around after 4 kids, with school, kinder, ballet, footy, swimming, art class, parties, sleepovers, etc.  And throw in 20+ hours of evening & weekend shifts at work!
Yes, he had a country to run, but he had numerous people to help him!!!!!  Grrrrrrrrr!!! Ahhh, how much better I feel having got that off my chest!!!
Onwards & downwards.....

12wbt Second Weigh In

Second weigh in today for the 12wbt & over the moon to report a loss of 3.4kgs. I have now lost 5.1kgs since starting this program 9 days ago!  It's just amazing!  And all I can say is "Why didn't anyone tell me about this program sooner"????  The hubby has dropped a total of 6kgs as well, so together, we are firing!
That's not to say the last 9 days have been smooth sailing.  As per my last post, there were a couple of nights when tears were shed, and a couple of times I've been so exhausted I've bitten hubby's head off.  I hate cooking at the best of times, and I just seem to always be in the kitchen!!  Of course, you don't have to follow the nutrition plan to the T, but it was something we both decided together we would do, and we've made the menu plan accommodate our family of six.
However, all in all, it's been a great experience so far.  It takes a lot more planning than I am used to, but the menu is such a variety, that it hasn't caused me to want for anything yet.  And although I am very tired and it seems that every inch of my body aches,  I am loving the feeling of it.
And it's helped me change my mindset.  There are no excuses anymore.  I am exercising every day whether I like it or not!
Today is the only day of the week I get 3 hours to myself whilst the youngest is at Kinder, but I still got on the bike for an hour & went for a ride.  The thought of lying on the couch with a cup of green tea watching some crap TV was definitely something I preferred to do, but I made sure I got out & just friggin did it!  And I feel so much better for it now!
Onwards & downwards.... Loving this!!!

Week 2 of 12wbt

Wow!  What a week!  Round 2 of Michelle Bridges' 12wbt (12 Week Body Transformation) started last Monday 4th June, coincidentally, Owen's 5th Birthday!  Hubby and I were as anxious as ever, and keen to get started.  The Thursday before, our menu plans & exercise plans for the week were released, as well as a shopping list for everything we would need.  We were set!  Had to make a few adjustments to accommodate cooking for the family, as the menu & shopping list only serves two, but otherwise, we were ready to go!!
When Monday arrived, we both were keen as mustard & had engines roaring.  We took photos of ourselves in our underwear.  And we weighed in - I weighed in at a hefty 125.8kgs.  I'm not yet game enough to post my underwear shots on here, but I am sure I will at a later date when I have updated photos to compare them to.

Turkey Mountain bread wrap

Beef Fajita

Apple tart with low fat ice-cream

 The food on this plan is sensational, and our kids have really loved it too.  This last week for dinner, we have had such meals as Vietnamese Beef noodle soup, Penang Chicken, beef fajita, cajun chicken, lamb cutlets, Mexican Shepherds Pie & crumbed fish.  All absolutely delish!!!  The brekkies & lunches have been just as superb, and it has been relatively easy to stick to the 1200cals a day with the menu like this.  There were a couple of days were I felt really hungry, but they've passed, and I've also come to realise that those times I felt starving were time where I was at home & bored & looking for something (other than housework) to fill my time, so obviously boredom has played a bit of a part in that.
Now, the exercise.  Let me just say, there were a couple of days of tears earlier on in the week.  On this plan, for someone like me who weighs over 100kgs, we are supposed to burn 500+ calories a day & 1000+ calories on our Super Saturday Session (known as SSS).  On the very first day, it took me well over 2 hours to burn 500 calories.  It was 10pm at night & I broke down.  There was no way I could sustain a program like this!!  Where was I going to find the time in my busy schedule with work & looking after 4 children to exercise for 2 hours a day, and then 4 hours on a Saturday?!?!!  Just impossible!  On Tuesday I exercised for over an hour & only burnt 320 calories, Wednesday I didn't manage it again, and yet again more late night tears were shed.
Until I came to the realisation, I am exercising every day for at least an hour.  I am moving my arse & sticking to the food plan perfectly.  The scales are moving in the right direction, so obviously I am doing something right!?!!?  Stuff the 500cals for the moment.  I will give my all for an hour of my day, regardless of the calories (although I am still wearing my Heart Rate Monitor just to keep track!).  It was like the cloudy skies parted & the sun shone through!  Alleluia!
Anyway, exercise this week has consisted of Michelle Bridges' workout DVDs, walking, xtrainer, and stairs. Having worked 3 long 8+ hour shifts the last 3 days, I was concerned at how I was going to get my exercise in.  I get 2 x 15min breaks at work plus a half hour lunch break.  A friend at work & walked the half an hour every lunch break (130 calories), and I spent 10 minutes of each of my breaks going up & down a flight of stairs (90 calories each session).  Let's just say, my legs have been so sore I have been hardly able to walk, and I have muscles aching I never knew existed in my legs!  I'm loving it!  As the stairs are right next to the toilet at work, I have made myself go & up down the stairs once every time I go to the toilet - which is a hell of a lot due to the amount of water i am drinking at the moment.   Feeling so very proud of the little things I have achieved this week.
And did I mention - NO WINE??!!  Not one drop!  YAY!!
So, our weigh in day on the plan is Wednesdays.  Our first Wednesday weigh in, only 2 days into the plan, and I weighed in at 124.1kgs - a loss of 1.7kgs.  Amazing!!!  Looking forward to our next weigh in tomorrow.

Michelle Bridge's 12 Week Body Transformation

Geez, it's been a few weeks since I've posted, but not much has been going on, except busy life with work & the four kids.

I stumbled across Michelle Bridge's 12 Week Body Transformation (12wbt) last week, and I've decided to give it a go.  And after getting hubby to check it out, he's signed up for it as well.  A bit pricey - cost us $200 each, so I've cancelled my WW subscriptions while I do this program for 3 months.

Michelle Bridge's is one of the trainers on Australian Biggest Loser, and her program runs for 12 weeks starting from 4th June.  It's an exercise & food program, based on consuming only 1200 calories per day, and burning 500 calories 6 days a week with exercise.  

In preparation (pre season she calls it) she sets a few tasks, like listing your excuses & your goals, cleaning out your pantry & just getting organised, etc to make sure you have everything ready to go to get you through the 12 weeks.  In preparation, I had a HUGE pantry clean up yesterday.  Fortunately we eat well in this house already, so I only needed to get rid of things like white rice, Jasmine rice, etc, and I put the kids junk in a container labelled "Treats".   I also have bought Michelle's set of 3 exercise DVDs (they haven't arrived in the post yet though), Polar heart rate monitors for hubby and I, an aerobic step & some dumb bells.   We're both pumped & ready to get on this 100%.

One of the tasks set is to write down my commitment, and here it is....

I am making the commitment today to STICK with this 12wbt program.  I am going to stay off the booze for the duration, limit my food intake to 1200 calories & exercise like a Trojan.  I am making the commitment that I WILL lose 20kgs in 12 weeks & I am going to look & feel fantastic, and be on my way to a fit & healthy life.

I cannot wait.  I am so excited to get this thing started!  BRING IT ON!!!

On A Roll......

....to lose these rolls!!!
Still very focussed and on track, and I must admit I really am surprised how quickly I got back into the swing of exercising daily, tracking & drinking water.  Have had a few glasses of red wine, but all within my points, and feeling so in control and unbelievably HAPPY!!!  Isn't it amazing how great you feel when you move & eat well!?!?  Just have to keep in focus & not let anything derail me.  NO EXCUSES!!!
Onwards & downwards.....

On My Way...

A loss of 1.1kgs today.  Whoop whoop!  To be honest, I was genuinely surprised.  It's only been a few days that I have been back on track, but I guess I am lucky my good days have outweighed the bad days.
Hopefully I can stay in this "zone".  I seem to have been in & out of the zone frequently over the last 14 months, so I just have to keep taking it one day at a time, and string lots of good days & good losses together until it becomes second nature again for me to be living every day as a Weight Watcher.

It was raining yesterday & I had the hands of my two boys as we ran across the road after kinder & my 4yo commented "You can't run".  I had just run (well, as best as I could with my bad ankle) but I asked him what he meant by that & he replied "You have to lose weight before you can run".  Talk about a comment taking me completely by surprise!!  I asked him where he had heard that, and he commented "I just thought of it now myself".   Just goes to show, as I commented in my last post, that I need to be a role model to my kids, and if my 4yo is already thinking I need to lose weight, then lose weight I will!!!!

Have been doing a minimum of 30 minutes a day on the xtrainer, and I find if I take a book & read whilst on it, I can keep up a steady pace & not be watching the clock, and the time flies by.  Currently reading the third book in "The Hunger Games" trilogy, and just can't put it down. Dying to see the movie!

Have also been spending a hell of a lot of time this last week decluttering.  The weather in Melbourne has been really cold & wet, so we've been housebound a lot, and to keep myself busy, I've been doing cupboards, rooms, and anywhere I think needs a good clear out.  Have been addicted to a website, which has become one of my favourites lately........  The Organised Housewife.  Would love to have a blog about decluttering & being organised as I am so obsessed about it!!!

Anyway, will keep plodding on.  Drinking water, tracking, and exercising....

Onwards & downwards.....

The Penny Has Dropped..... Again....

Yes, well, re-reading back on my last post, I started with good intentions, but it did actually take a couple of days for the penny to actually drop.  I caught a sight of myself down at the shopping centre the other morning, a reflection in a shop window, the back of my shirt hitched up over my big arse, and I think it gave me the jolt I needed.  It reminded me of the way I felt when I had lost over 30kgs and was so close to 100kgs in March last year.....

• I liked to catch my reflection every now & then, as it would give me a shock to see how much weight I had lost, and how far I had come.
• I liked to dress nicely & buy new clothes, and took more time with my appearance, something I don't bother with when I am bigger.
• I liked my husband to show me affection & intimacy, but now I feel embarrassed & disgusted at the weight I have gained.
• I was spurred on by all the comments of friends and acquaintances about how great I looked, & how fantastic I was doing.  I remember EVERY single comment people gave me, and I want that feeling back again.
• I loved the conversations I had with the kids about health & fitness, and how my son (who was 10 at the time) gave me a magnet that he had made on Mothers' Day, with words to describe me.  One of them was the word "FIT".  I want my kids to think of me as fit & healthy, and I want to be a role model for them, especially my daughter.

I don't want to feel embarrassed anymore.  Embarrassed because I am so fat, and embarrassed in front of all those people who saw me lose the weight, and have now seen me gain it again.

23 weeks til we go to Bali.  I am taking things one day at a time, but I must admit, I would LOVE to drop 20kgs in that time.  It's realistic.  I can do it, but will focus on just getting through today, and then getting through tomorrow...

I've been gathering inspiring slogans whenever I see them.  Good visual reminders!!!

YAY I did it!

Yep, got off my butt from the computer yesterday & jumped straight onto the xtrainer.  Managed a good half an hour.  Will try for longer today!!  Have been reading "The Hunger Games", and find it easily to get lost in a book whilst on the xtrainer, so the time just slips away.
Started tracking again today.  Now to tackle the water.
Onwards & downwards....

Sick.Of.It!!!!

Wow, it's been so long since I have posted, that Blogspot have changed all their features, so it is all a bit new & strange to me trying to work out how to post!!!!
Anyhow, over 3 weeks have passed, and it's been school holidays.  We spent a week at our Caravan in Cobram over Easter.  Callum turned 11 years old, and had a sleepover party with 8 boys staying the night.  Fun. Not!  We had a lovely wedding to attend in the Dandenongs.  And I have eaten & drank my way to a 2.1kg gain in that time.  No excuses.  No reasons.  Just because.

And as the title of this post reads, I am sick of it.  Just sick of being unable to get motivated.  Sick of being fat.  Sick of the way I look.  I just cannot find that bloody mojo.  Where is it hiding?  Oh where, oh where can it be?!?  Each day I wake up with renewed enthusiasm, and by lunchtime, I have given up tracking & can't be bothered exercising.  Water?  Who's drinking water?  Not I!
But the most frustrating thing is I KNOW that I can do this.  And I KNOW how good I feel when I am "in the zone".   It is driving me crazy because I know that my 40th Birthday, the Bali trip & the 200km bike ride are all in just over 5 months, and if I want to achieve anything, then I need to start now.

Hmmmm, just typing this out right now has stirred something in me.  I need to start today.  Right this second I need to get off this blog & get on that Xtrainer.  And track.  And drink my water.  I can do this!  

Watch this space.......

Callum's 11th Birthday Party, with his cool Burger cake!

Hubby & I at the wedding last weekend.

Tears & Tantrums, and an Anniversary!

It's been a ridiculously busy week.  And somewhere in there, hubby and I celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary.  And how did we celebrate it?  We went to the school fete.  Ho hum.  And then had a fight that resulted in hubby going to bed early, and me drinking a bottle of wine whilst on the couch with a block of chocolate.  Oh dear!
Anyway, tensions have been high this week, and I have had more than a few days of tears & tantrums.  Unfortunately the kids have copped the brunt of it, and it has made me have a good hard look at myself and ask if I have been sinking back into the depths of depression.   I don't think so.  I am just currently feeling exhausted (still not 100% from the Vertigo) and extremely overwhelmed.  The kids after school activities are definitely taking a toll on my patience, and I just seem to have to be rushing everywhere & not have any time for myself.  It is extremely frustrating & making me VERY grumpy.  Discussions on quitting my job, and other alternatives have come up between hubby and myself (sometimes not very nicely), and we have decided today that perhaps we should get a fortnightly cleaner, just for a few hours to help ease the burden.  We'll give it a try & see how go!  Fingers crossed....
Anyway, Weight Watchers this week has been going great on the weekdays, but I went a bit overboard on the weekend with wine & food.  I did count ALL the points for everything that I ate & drank, which is something I haven't been doing, so that's one good thing to come of this week.  I have also managed to get on the xtrainer nearly every day.  And with my efforts came a loss of 1.9kgs this morning at my meeting.  Fantastic result, but I have to keep in mind the gain of 3.2kgs I had last week.
So now comes the big battle.  I'm not weighing in for 2 weeks due to the Easter holidays & us going away.  I have to keep up with the exercise - xtrainer when I am home, and we are taking our bikes away with us, so lots of riding planned.  I need to drink WATER at every opportunity, and TRACK TRACK TRACK even if I can't weigh everything I eat whilst away, I can estimate to keep my going.  And I need to keep away from the Easter egg chocolate & hot cross buns (my favourite dropping with butter!).
So, onwards & downwards......

No Looking Back.....

Feeling so much better, although not yet 100%, and was able to make it to work over the weekend.  Was also able to make it to a work dinner at The Melba Restaurant at The Langham Hotel on Southbank in Melbourne.  Wow, what a dinner it was!  A beautiful a la carte smorgasbord, complete with sushi made to order, Indian naan bread cooked fresh to order, seafood galore, Peking duck pancakes made to order, full carvery, and a mini dessert selection, complete with chocolate fountain, to die for!!!!  I didn't give WW a thought, and here's a picture of my dessert plate, as I wanted a taste of everything.  I didn't eat it all of course, but must admit, the Creme Brûlée was AMAZING!!!

That night I went to bed and was unable to sleep due to my aching belly.  Piggery at it's greatest, and definitely not something I will want to repeat in a hurry.  I wasn't surprised when I weighed over 2kgs heavier in the morning after plates & plates of food!!!

Footy training started for my eldest son on Monday night, and I found it extremely hard to get out of the car once we were there.  The group of Mums I hang out with during footy season were so encouraging of me last year & the year before & the comments they gave me about how good I looked are something I remember vividly.  TO say I was embarrassed for them to see me 20+kgs heavier is an understatement.  As I got back in the car after training, I closed my eyes for a minute and made a mental note to remember that feeling.  Whenever I start to get off track again, I need to draw on the feeling for inspiration.  It was a terrible & gut wrenching feeling of shame & embarrassment, and I want to remember it ALWAYS.

I managed to get to my WW meeting yesterday, and was a little shocked my gain was so high.  3.6kgs!!! WTF!?!?!  Okay, I know I would have had a gain after that dinner on Sunday night, and of course I haven't tracked my food for 3 weeks, but 3.6kgs?!?!  WOW.  I was astounded.  And disappointed.  And ashamed.  Again!

This time in March last year, I weighed 22.1kgs less.  God, I felt fantastic.  I'm devastated!

Anyway, as I expressed my dismay when stepping off the scales yesterday, the WW assistant who was weighing me said something that made an impact.  "Don't look back.  It's in the past.  Look forward".   I got home & jumped on the xtrainer.  I made sure I walked to Kinder for the pick up of my 4yo.  And then I walked to school to pick up my kids, which was no easy feat - 45min round trip, pushing a double pram loaded with scooters & helmets for the older kids on the way there, and then loaded with school bags on the way home.  Today I am feeling it all over - even in my tummy muscles!  And I love the feeling!!!!

So, I have to remember, I may have many bumps in the road, and will just think of this last year as a BIG bump - getting off track with hubby being depressed about his working life, then trying to eat & drink my way through dealing with my Dad's cancer.  And then the last couple of weeks I've had a bump with sickness.  But, I can do this.  And I am going to do this.  I will take it one day at a time, and string my good days together to form good weeks with good losses.  And then will string my weeks together to form good months, and I will watch the kilos fall away.  I am not looking back....

Onwards & downwards.....

Vertigo...

The virus I have had had lead to an inner ear infection, that has caused vertigo, so I have been out of action for 10 days now.  Hubby has had to take the week off work as I've been unable to do anything due to dizziness.  I've just ventured between the bed & couch.  Walking & standing has made me dizzy & nauseous.  Such a bloody frustrating illness to have!  The prognosis from the doctor was it could take 4-6 weeks to improve!!!
So, I've had a week off work, been unable to do the 2 big bike rides we had planned last weekend, and eating has been TERRIBLE!  Such a wasted shame on my part as I've had no appetite, so it could have been a perfect opportunity to drop some KGs, but no, I sunk back to what I do best - eating crap to try & make me feel better.
The upside is that today (Friday) I am feeling better, and I am absolutely RARING to go with exercise & WW.  I'm tempted to jump on the xtrainer today, but I am wanting to return to work tomorrow, so don't want to overdo things.
Good news also today that hubby has raised his $2500 to partake in the Cure to Conquer Cancer ride, and I have so far raised $950.  Just so frustrated that I can't get people to dig into their hip pockets for this!!  What is wrong with some people!?!??!

Anyway, hopefully next week I will be 100%, and be able to get to my WW meeting for an official weigh in.  Onwards & downwards......

Sick, and No Weigh In....

I am still sick with this bloody virus.  Thankfully, the kids are all better though.  Therefore I didn't make it to my meeting & weigh in, so I'm not going to officially post a figure.  I am using my home scales as a guide, but will only post "official" weight as per the WW scales.
I am just feeling so lethargic & horrid, and can't wait for this to pass.  All I want to do is lay on the couch in front of the TV or sleep.  Terrible!  I just want it to hurry up & pass so I have some energy.
Back to tracking, and will be back on board with exercise soon once I feel better.  Will up the water intake today as well.
Onwards & downwards......

Time to Pull My Finger Out!!

It's been a hectic week & a half, which is why I haven't posted lately.  Since my last post, I had the best weekend meeting the WW girls.  We all just "clicked" straight away & spent a lovely weekend eating & drinking in the Melbourne CBD.  I am lucky to have met such wonderful women, who I count as some of my closest friends.  After all, they know so much about me after all these years!!  And what an effort some of them made to get here - from New Zealand, New South Wales, ACT, Queensland & around Victoria.  Amazing, and I am truly so lucky to have found these girls!!!
Anyway, Febfast is now over, although I did drink on the Saturday night of the catchup.  I didn't do Febfast as a fundraising drive like last year, just for myself really.  I am putting all my fundraising efforts into the Cancer ride.  We had an orientation session for the ride last week, and it has made me so excited about it.  I've so far raised over $700!!  Only $1800 to go.  I'm still amazed at what tight arses some people can be.  It's for a fantastic cause AND it's a tax deductible donation!  What the hell is wrong with people!?!?  I look at the people I work with, who buy takeaway once or twice a day, not to mention takeaway coffees, and they can't spare $10-$20?? I just don't get it!  I must admit, it does make me furious, as I ALWAYS donate when friends ask me to.
So, the week after the girls' weekend, I failed to track.  I failed to exercise.  I failed to drink water.  And I had a loss of 200gms at last week's weigh in.
This week, I have failed to track.  I have failed to exercise.  And I have failed to drink water.  I've just felt terrible the last week - exhausted (working too much!!!) and run down & generally unhappy.  My oldest & youngest boys have come down with the virus that is going around - headaches & fevers, and today I have woken up with it as well, and as an added bonus, TTOM arrived to boot!  Joy!  The only good thing is I have no appetite!!!
Anyway, as the title of this post reads, it's time to pull my finger out.  200gm losses each week for the last month is just ridiculous.  I need to get serious.  So, as soon as I feel well again, it's back to tracking 100% of the time, and back to the xtrainer/bike riding, cause before I know it October will be here with my Bali trip & then the 200km bike ride, and I need to shed this weight before both of those occasions!

Onwards & downwards....

Surprise, Surprise!

What a surprise & a relief to have a loss of 200gms at my meeting this morning.  I ate nearly 50 points over my weekly total this last week (plus all my exercise points!!), all because I was trying to self sabotage myself.  Of course, I know now that if I had of continued on my merry way of eating within points, I would have had a massive loss!  Why do I do it?  Argh, so frustrated with myself!!
Anyway, back on track & will ensure I stay UNDER my points this week.  I am now weighing at 120.8kgs, so next week I want to be under 120.   There are just under 33 weeks til we go to Bali, so I could well & truly be in the 80s by then, and Goddam it, I plan on being there!!!  I cannot imagine how good that would feel.
It's Day 23 of Febfast (no alcohol) and I will be buying myself a leave pass for this Saturday night.  Yes, I know, defeats the purpose of fasting for the month, but I have the WW girls' weekend, and I'm not drinking Friday night, just Saturday night.  Cannot wait for it.
Going to continue with my daily exercising, and hopefully we'll have time for a family bike ride on Saturday morning before I head out to lunch with the WW girls.  If not, will just have to make do with the xtrainer.
Have been forgetting to take photos of some of the yummy low fat meals I've been making!  Had a delicious leek & potato soup (WW recipe) last night as it was Ash Wednesday, so no meat.  I sneaked a zucchini & a whole cauliflower in it as well.  I always try to sneak extra veg in where I can with the kids!  Although not a practising Catholic, my kids attend a Catholic school, so I am trying to keep within the guidelines of the Church.  It's now Lent, so no meat on Fridays, which I see as a good opportunity to get us eating more fish & seafood in general.  Yum!  Turkey burgers with salad tonight on the menu.  Double yum!
Speaking of low fat food (not), I've just polished off an iced donut & a coffee.  6 points for the donut, and I wanted it, so had it.  The beauty of WW.  I'm having left over soup for lunch (3 points).  And will be getting on the xtrainer shortly as well as going for a walk.
Feeling very positive & motivated...  Onwards & downwards....

Self Sabotage... Why oh Why?!?!?!!?

Why, oh why do I let myself get misguided by a little loss when I have worked so hard!  I have had the mindset this week of eating too much - using all my weeklies & exercise points!  Because last week I didn't use my weeklies & I only lost 200gms, that evil voice in my head just told me I might as well use the weeklies anyway!  So, I've used them all, and some!  And now I am in deficit of points, and need to work my arse off on the xtrainer the next 2 days to see if I can make up some of the points.  Mind you, I am still eating, exercising & drinking water, just using up way too many points!  Why the hell am I doing it to myself?!?!?
Exercising has been going fantastically.  I've been getting on the xtrainer each day, except for on the weekend when we went for some lovely long bike rides.  I've missed bike riding, and both hubby and I really enjoyed it.  Saturday I took the trailer with the 2 little ones (well, not so little really!!!) in it, and it nearly killed me dragging that up hills.  On Sunday, it was just hubby & I and our 10 year old, and we had the other kids minded.  It was such fun, although hard work in the heat (30+ degrees!).  We have a really great bike riding trail from our house along the coast, and it was just so enjoyable.  We're planning on making it a regular weekly ride, and hope to increase the distance each week.  All in preparation of the BIG Cancer ride in October.  Really looking forward to it.
Only 3 sleeps until I meet up with the WW girls I've befriended over the net.  Starting to get really nervous about finally seeing these lovely women.  All very exciting really.
Okay, time to get this big bum onto the xtrainer.
Onwards & downwards......

Devastated By a Little Loss......

Weigh in this morning & I had a 200gm loss.  Absolutely devastated... How on earth does 200gms reflect my efforts this week?   I've tracked every morsel that has entered my mouth, I have drank all the water I could possibly fit in, and I have exercised like a machine every single day!!!  Twice this week I didn't have time to exercise during the day, so I got on the xtrainer at 10.45pm at night!!!!  I just don't understand it.  The ONLY explanations I can think of are - 1. I drank triple the amount of water yesterday than I usually drink, so perhaps I am retaining some of that today; 2. perhaps my body is adjusting to the amount of exercise I am throwing at it; 3. perhaps it is residual fluid left over from TTOM that finished a day ago.  God, I just don't know.  SOOOOOOOO disappointed.
Anyway, will continue on with my efforts.  I'm working a lot at the moment, and although I enjoy work, I am not enjoying the stress that it is putting on my home life, especially with all the kids after school activities.

And only 8 sleeps to go until I catch up with a group of girls that I have been "chatting" to on the WW site for about 5 years now.  We are all like the best of friends, which is so strange considering we have never met each other!  We are coming together in Melbourne from near & far - one is even flying in from New Zealand!  We've been through so much together - the births of our babies together, deaths & sicknesses in the family, the trials of raising our kids, and of course, the daily struggles with our weight.  Very exciting to spend a whole weekend with these beautiful women!  Bring it on!!!

Hubby yesterday bought himself a lovely new bike, and he has registered to do the "Ride to Conquer Cancer" with me in October.  To do the ride, we have to raise $2500 each in donations to support Peter Mac, which is a hospital that specialises ONLY in cancer research & treatment.  It also happens to be the hospital where my Dad is being treated.   However, I am finding it so extremely hard to raise donations for this.  I have to raise $2500, and to date, I have raised $60.  I always donate at least $50 to causes like this when my friends ask me to, so I am at a loss why no one wants to donate.  I'll be shattered if I don't raise the necessary funds & can't go on the ride!!

If you would like to make a donation to this truly amazing hospital...







Onwards & downwards....

Battle of the Night Time Snacking....

Everything is still going really great with me this week, but I have noticed how now & then I am prone to a mindless snack after dinner.  All within points & measured & counted, but really, it can't be good to be snacking at night time.  Most nights  I am working and I get home late (11pm-ish) so I don't snack, and I only have a cuppa at work, I don't take any snacks (unless it is a daytime shift) & I don't buy from the vending machine, but on the nights I am at home, I might indulge.  For example, last night, I had a Skinny Cow ice-cream cup - delicious!  Only 2pp on WW, and much nicer & creamier than the WW sundae cups.  I should have stopped there!!  But then, I nibbled on 12pp worth of fruit & nut mix with a green tea.  Really?  Did I need that extra snack.  Surely the cuppa would have been fine on its own.  So disappointed in myself, and something I am going to work on in the future.

 My new discovery.  Helga's Sandwich Thins!!!  Only 3pp for one, and toasted it is delicious!!  I had one for brekkie with egg, cottage cheese & lettuce, and the next day one for lunch with ham & salad.  They are fantastic!!!

Aidan with his Spiderman-chino whilst out for coffee with me this week.  Owen has started 4yo Kinder 3 times a week, so it is nice to have one on one time with my baby!!!

The scales keep going in the right direction, and I am still in "the zone".

Onwards & downwards.....

2.1kgs - Yeah Baby!!!

I knew I was in for a loss after a brilliant week, but TTOM (That Time Of Month) arrived last night & I always weigh heavier, so what a shock when I weighed in at my meeting this morning & had a fantastic loss of 2.1kgs!!!  3.7kgs in 3 weeks - not too shabby!!!  So very, very happy with myself!  And on the subject of my meeting, I have no idea what is going on.  Our WW leader was missing in action last week, and then today some guy was there - apparently the head of WW in this region, and he was TOTALLY out of his comfort zone taking the meeting.  Anyway, he announced we would be getting a new leader next week!  WTF?!?!  Hope everything is okay with our older leader but I PRAY TO GOD we get a good leader next week - I love the meetings, but just cannot enjoy them when the leader is crap!!!
Dad goes for his first Chemo treatment tomorrow.  It's a bloody shit that he has to have chemo - he is so fit & healthy at the moment, and it is going to be sad to see the chemo knock him around.  However, he is so positive, it is infectious!
Goals for this week: continue with my water intake, daily exercise & brilliant tracking.  I CAN BLOODY WELL DO THIS!!!!

11.5kgs gone, 56.2kgs to go, 35 weeks until Bali!!!

Onwards & downwards..... BRING IT ON!!!

245 Sleeps!!!

Have just realised it's only 245 sleeps until we go to Bali!!!  Or exactly 35 weeks!  Which means I have plenty of time to shed some of this weight!  Sure, I am not going to be at goal weight by then, but I could realistically be under 90kgs!!!!  The last time I was 90kgs I was pregnant with my first child!!!!  On our trip to Bali in March 2011, I weighed 103kgs when I left, and although I was still very overweight, I felt so good about myself.  I can imagine how fantastic I would feel at 13kgs less!
Other countdowns for me:

• 218 sleeps until my 40th Birthday (just over 31 weeks)
• 322 sleeps until Christmas (46 weeks exactly)

Onwards & downwards....

Regaining My Fitness Level

I look back at March 2011 and can't believe how easily I did 60-90 minutes on the xtrainer each day!  I have been clawing my way to regain my fitness levels, and finally today I managed 60mins on the xtrainer.  Yes, it nearly killed me, and I probably won't be able to walk tomorrow, but I am so proud of myself!!  I won't push myself that hard for the next few days, as I have to ease my ankle back into it (and it's a bit sore right now), but the best thing about it. is that I have earned 19 bonus exercise points for WW.  I am determined to have a great loss this week!
I've just been browsing the WW Australia site, and checking out some of the blogs on there, as recommended by a friend.  I am not game to post a blog on that site, for fear someone I know would stumble across it!  Is that strange?  I feel I am safer here on blogspot, and it would be harder to stumble across - is that silly?  Anyway, I digress.... I came across this fantastic quote on someone's blog....

"The tenth bite tastes the same as the first bite"


Isn't that so bloody true?  I must remember that the next time I get a chocolate craving!!!!!


Onwards & downwards.....

Waiting to Drop the Ball

I am so in "the zone" at the moment, but I have this anxious feeling, like I am waiting for something to happen to shift me out of that zone.  Is that weird?  I guess I am feeling that it is so long since I felt like this, that perhaps it's not right... that I am just waiting to stuff up.  But everything is just so perfect - my eating, my water intake, my exercise.  Perhaps it is because it has been so long since everything had just fallen into place so perfectly with me that it is a normal reaction for me to subconsciously think - "what the fuck is going on here"?
Let's hope this continues.  I'm on a mission!!!
Onwards & downwards......

Week 88 of Weight Watchers!! Seriously!?!?

I am now in Week 88 of my weigh ins at Weight Watchers.  Loss of 1.6kgs for the fortnight for me - my "official" weight loss on the Weight Watchers scales.  Slightly disappointed, as I was expecting more as my home scales are showing a bigger loss.  But I do have to remember that I am weighing in at WW with clothes on, shoes on, and brekkie eaten.   And I did have that blow out on Tuesday night with the wine... damn!!
Anyway, feeling so positive & motivated & "in the zone" and I don't want this feeling to ever change.  I am so looking forward to next week's weigh in already!!  I remember last time when I was "in the zone" when I lost over 30kgs, and my meetings & WI were like an addiction to me!  I want to hold onto that feeling forever!
Goals for this week:

• Keep exercising daily on the xtrainer;
• Keep drinking heaps of water;
• Keep tracking every morsel.

I am already achieving all 3 of those goals so just have to keep up with it all.  Going out for dinner on Saturday night, so will plan to have the best WW friendly option available.  Other than that, I am able to plan all my other meals.

Zucchini Slice I made for dinner the other night.  We call it "bacon slice" in my house as the kids wouldn't eat it if they knew it had zucchini & carrot in it!!  And this pic is of it the next day when I had leftovers for lunch with a big dollop of tomato sauce (that hubby thinks is disgusting!).  I would eat tomato sauce on everything if I could!!!

Onwards & downwards.......

Day One of Febfast

Hubby and I are doing Febfast.  It was a success for me last year, and I raised $370 for charity, so thought I would give it a shot this year too, and I've managed to rope hubby in as well!  So, for the month of February, no booze at all.  EXCEPT you are allowed to buy a leave pass for a day if you need it, which is just as well, as I have a catch up planned with a group of Weight Watchers girls at the end of the month.  It's a whole weekend thing, but I plan only on having a few drinks the Saturday night.
So, of course, last being the 31st January, I went silly.  Too many wines, which TOTALLY blew my weekly points out of the water.  But that wasn't the bad part.  Whenever I drink, I eat!  And it's not that I eat badly, I just eat too much, uncontrollably.  Last night I had a few lollies, and then I consumed an enormous amount of Hommus & rice crackers, which I didn't have the points allowance for!  Silly, silly girl.
Weigh in tomorrow, and with TTOM looming (That Time of Month) and the blow out on Tuesday night with the wine, I am expecting a gain on last week's loss of 1.9kgs.  Ho hum.  It will not deter me.  I am back into it & raring to go.
Time to jump on the xtrainer!!

Onwards & downwards!

Happy Australia Day!!!

It's Australia Day, so a nice public holiday with no work for hubby or I!  Weighing in on my home scales this morning, I have had a loss of 1.9kgs!!  Fantastic!  Not going to record it "officially" until my weigh in at Weight Watchers next Thursday.
Started today off with a yummy freshly made fruit salad & yoghurt (for a grand total of 1 ProPoint!!).  The best thing is that my 2 older kids wanted it for brekkie too!  I just love their fantastic eating habits - especially my eldest who chose a salad sandwich instead of a meat pie the other day when we were out for lunch!!  Just makes me think how lucky we are Australia that we have access to such great fresh produce.  How lucky we are to have the freedom to purchase any fresh fruit, vegetables, or meat that we require.  The "lucky country" indeed.

My yummy salad sandwich on rye bread I had for lunch.  Total of 6 ProPoints for the bread & Weight Watcher's brand Cottage cheese.   Going through a stage of LOVING beetroot at the moment - makes any sandwich delicious!

And happy that I upped the anti today & managed 45 minutes of the xtrainer.  I want to enjoy a nice wine with hubby this afternoon, so wanted to make sure I have lots of exercise points to use.  And I might as well enjoy the wine now, as I am doing Febfast again - no alcohol for the whole of February!

Onwards and downwards.....

Week 1 A Success!

The last day of week one & it's been a huge success.  I think I'm in "the zone".  I've been on the xtrainer every day, and have increased my time from 20mins to 30mins.  Can't believe I used to do 60-90 minutes without struggling, and this week I have nearly died doing 30mins!!!  Very sad to think I've let my fitness slip that much!
The Biggest Loser Series has just started here.  Great motivation to see these people exercising & allowing to be seen in their undies & bras for all the world to see.  Not to mention, great motivation seeing those bodies of the trainers!!
No weigh in for me tomorrow unfortunately.  As it's Australia Day public holiday, there is no meeting.  Can't wait to see my results on the scales next week after 2 weeks of trying my best!!!
Onwards & downwards.....

Day 1 Done & Dusted!

Day 1 down & a success!  Didn't even eat all my daily allowance of points, and I really feel like I am in the right headspace at the moment.  Managed 20 minutes on the xtrainer last night, and it nearly bloody killed me!  How did I let myself get so unfit & gain so much weight?  If only I was one of those people who lost weight when stressed & depressed!!!!  Can't wait until I can manage an hour on the xtrainer again & not find it a huge struggle!

My lunches yesterday & today were so yummy, I had to take pics of them!

Yesterday's scrambled eggs on lettuce, topped with asparagus, cottage cheese & Sweet Chilli Sauce...

Today's pita wrap with ham, fat free natural yoghurt, tomato, cucumber, lettuce & beetroot!  YUMMO!

Our PC blew up over Christmas, so we splurged this week & bought ourselves a beautiful new iMac desktop.  Quite different to a PC, so it is taking a little while to get used to it, but I think we will love it eventually.  Just such a lovely streamlined machine.

A New Year, and A New Me!!!

Wow, a long time has passed since I last posted, and a hell of a lot of weight has been gained.
Firstly, in regards to my Dad.  We had received good news before Christmas that he was to start a new trial drug, that has had amazing results with cancer patients.  This news buoyed us in the hope that things would be looking up, and we all had an amazing Christmas with Dad.  And then, just last week we received the news that he was not compatible with the trial drug, and so he was told by the Doctor to basically "get his affairs in order".  In other words, there is nothing they can do for him.  He is starting Chemo next month to see if it has any impact on the cancer.  Devastating for us all of course, but Dad is being so positive, and he says he is determined to shock the doctors on this one.  It's really given us a brighter outlook, and if anyone can shock the doctors, it's definitely Dad.  He's done it previously when he was told he had lung disease from asbestos many years ago, and he wasn't given long to live.
We had a lovely Christmas, and our first Christmas Day at home with my family.  Too much food & drink, but we all had a ball & the kids were spoilt by Santa once again.  Boxing Day we spent with my inlaws, and then we went away to our caravan for 3 weeks in the sun, and spent our days swimming, eating, drinking & lazing about.  My parents were there as well, so it was lovely to spend the time with them too.  It was fantastic, but nice to get home & back into the routine of things.
I trudged back to my Weight Watchers meeting this morning with an official weigh in of 124.9kgs.  Shocking indeed, but actually not as bad as I expected.  I am really ready to get fit & healthy again & shed this weight.  This is going to be my year, and I have a few big occasions coming up, so some great goals to work towards....

• My 40th birthday in September (and I want to have a big party)
• Bali trip with hubby to celebrate our 40th birthdays
• 200km Ride to Conquer Cancer - a bike ride I have signed up to with friends, so time to get back on my bike!!!

Will get back on the xtrainer today, and will track, track, track every morsel that enters my mouth!

Onward & downwards!  Bring it on!!!!

Oh Christmas Tree!!!

Hubby & me at my work Christmas function

Happy New Year!!  Enjoying a cold glass of wine on NYE on holidays!

My 4 gorgeous kids last week on holidays