The Hardest Post to Write

So.

It's now been nearly a couple of years since I last posted.  And the reason for being missing in action?  I didn't want to share my life full of depression, weight gain & self pity.

Why share a couple of years of sitting on the couch, drinking wine & getting fatter?

I have closed myself away from all my friends and family.  The thought of seeing people I hadn't for a while filled me with an anxiousness that nearly made me vomit, so it was easier to make excuses and stay home.  My friends lament they don't see me enough, and I miss them.

The relationship with my husband has suffered.  I blame him for everything, when I only have myself to blame.  It's just so much easier to be angry at someone else other than yourself.

But my biggest regret?  My kids are missing out on having a happy, healthy and active Mum.  And that's something that I will regret for the rest of my life.

I resorted to attending an appointment at a Lap Band Specialist.  Secretly, without telling anyone.  And I was seriously contemplating going through with it - skinny means happy right??  No.  No it doesn't.  What sort of example would that be to my daughter?

That was 6 months ago.  It's taken me this long to realise that enough is enough.

So, here I am 50 kilos heavier than 3 years ago.  It's time to make a change.

No more empty talk.

No more excuses.

My life depends on this.

Let's do this!!!!