Nachos..... Yum!

One of my favourite dinners yet on the 12wbt....... Healthy nachos!!!  Delicious!

Day 39... 10.5kgs of Ugly Fat Gone!!

Last weekday of the school holidays, and was out & about with the 3 boys today whilst my daughter was at ballet, when alarm bells rang.  I had forgotten to pack my lunch!!!  My daughter has had ballet smack bang in the middle of the day Monday to Friday this week, and the last 4 days I have been super organised & had my Thermos of soup or Shepherd's Pie packed, with fruit & water.  But today in all the chaos of getting us organised & out the door on time, I forgot to pack lunch!!! ARGGHHH!!!
Luckily, my favourite cafe always has soup on the menu & today they had a chicken broth with veggies & dill - absolutely PERFECT!!!!  The accompanying dinner roll with butter I gave to the boys. And I enjoyed a nice skinny latte as well.

Chicken broth with veg & dill - YUM!

Still no sign of TTOM, although I have all the tummy pains & symptoms, just wish it would hurry up!!!  Weigh in this morning has me at 115.3kgs - that's a TOTAL loss of 10.5kgs in 39 days.  I am just over the moon about it!!

10.5kgs gone - yeah baby!!!

We also have just purchased our tickets to the 12wbt Finale party in Perth!  Can't believe we are actually doing this!!!  Now all we need is a babysitter... eeek!!!

Onwards & downwards......

It's Hump Week!!!

37 days in and I have lost a total of 9.6kgs!!!  How bloody amazing is that?!?!  A 900gms loss this week, which I must admit I am disappointed in - I didn't lose that kilo that I gained overnight.  I weighed in at 116.2kgs, with a bloated tummy, just waiting for TTOM to arrive!  BUT, I have to look on the bright side, I will have a rocking weight loss next week!!!

It's still school holidays, and I must admit, I do still have the motivation & the WANT to exercise, but it is so difficult with 4 kids home 24/7.  I love having my babies home (even with all the fighting and yelling that goes on), but I am looking forward to getting back into a routine next week & I'm going to pump up the exercise an extra notch.  We're nearly halfway through this program, and I can still lose 10.4kgs to get to the goal I had set in this round, which was 20kgs!  I CAN do it!  I WILL do it!!!

Have also added my 12wbt ticker to the top of my page. The top one is my overall weightloss, the bottom one is my 12wbt weightloss since 4th June.

Onwards & downwards......

Live Like Someone Left the Gate Open!

Saw this on FB and had to share!!!!  Beautiful!

Well, today I weighing in a kilo heavier than Saturday's weight.  Panic immediately set in!  What have I done wrong?  Could the wine really have caused that huge a gain when I have been super good with everything else I have done for 5 weeks?  However, that old uncomfortable bloated niggling  in my tummy reminded me... TTOM is due any minute.  Phew.....

Wise Words......

A Mini Mindset Breakthrough

We decided to enjoy a few wines last night.  So much for my Dry July!!!  It's not something that we will regularly do, but it was treat night, and we still had spare calories, so we thought we'd share a few wines.   After working 8 1/2 hours yesterday, I relaxed in the bath once the kids were in bed & just really felt like a wine!

I must say, the first mouthful tasted like absolute shite!  How did I become unaccustomed to drinking wine so quickly?!?!?!  Anyway, by the middle of the second glass of wine, a feeling of utter starvation came over me.  I was like a wild beast!!!  I scoured the cupboards and retreated back to the couch with a few VitaWheat crackers.  Yep, that gave me the crunch that potato chips usually would, with minimal calories.  BUT I wasn't satisfied.  I settled for a Skinny Cow toffee ice-cream.  Only just over 100 calories & my usual treat on a Saturday night.  BUT I still wasn't satisfied!!

Now earlier in the day, my parents had called in armed with a box of chocolates & a box of rocky road.  I nearly died when I got home from work & saw them sitting on the kitchen bench!  I immediately opened the chocolates & let the kids loose on them.  The rocky road I put in the cupboard for another day.

Well, I sat on the couch with my wine, having eaten the crackers & ice cream, and I think I must have wrestled in my mind for about an hour the fact that I wanted to eat that rocky road.  I even picked up the box to look at the calories - 7 serves in the box at 500 calories per serve!!!!!  WTF!!!!  But in my head, I was justifying that I could still eat a serve.  Or perhaps I should eat the whole box & make myself so sick that I would never be tempted again!!!!  I think if hubby hadn't been there with me, and been my voice of reason I would have eaten it.  Instead I had a Freddo Frog.

A while later, I drank a bottle of water, and went to bed.  It wasn't until then that I realised I wasn't hungry at all.  There is something that wine does to me, that makes me think I am famished & need to eat.  It is always like this!  It always has been like this!  And it is the reason I gained 20kgs over the last year.

I remember reading an article that Jillian Michaels (from the American Biggest Loser) wrote in one of her newsletters last year.  It was about something in alcohol that triggers this need in females to have to eat.  Have googled to try & find the article to post on here, but can't locate it.  I did find this interesting video though......

Alcohol is the devil for belly fat from jillian michaels

Anyway, just felt like I had a breakthrough last night & wanted to share.  Just another reason I am glad to be off the wine & it reinforces what a great job I am doing with the 12wbt.   As for the rocky road, we are visiting family today & I will be taking it with us, and leaving it there!!!!

Some of the meals I've had this week.....

Buttermilk pancakes with fresh fruit salad & yoghurt.

Home made fruit salad & yoghurt.  YUM!

Still loving all the recipes we are supplied with on the 12wbt.  Delicious choices we are given. This week's menu is definitely Asian themed - YUM!!!  Can't wait to try out some of the new recipes!

The sad & sorry salad I had at Maccas the other day.  Only 40 or so calories, but a poor excuse for a salad!

Whilst having lunch with the kids at McDonalds on Friday, and munching on the above sorrowful salad, my daughter asked me (whilst scoffing down a cheese burger!!!) if I missed eating McDonalds.  "Nope, not at all" I replied.  And it was true!  I don't miss eating that crap.  I like thinking of what I am putting into my body as fuel.

Beef fajita with capsicum & onion - delicious!!!!

And, my weight this morning... whoo hoooo... those scales just keep moving in the right direction!!!

1.5kgs gone this week already!  Yippee!

Onwards & downwards... BRING IT ON BIATCHES!!!!!!

Bring It On!!!!

Back in May, a local newspaper did a story on hubby and I about our fundraising for the Ride to Conquer Cancer.  Of course they wanted photos of us with our bikes, but there was NO WAY I was going to get into bike shorts in a photo in the paper.  I was embarrassed enough that my big fat mug was going on display for all to see!

The Page 2 Article

To my absolute shock & horror, our picture & story appeared on bloody PAGE TWO!!!  Oh, the embarrassment when I received text messages from friends, when the Kinder teachers mentioned the article, when I walked into my work & the article was plastered up on the wall!!!!

One of the pictures I bought from the newspaper

I just received this picture above from the newspaper today.  We both look so puffy & tired, and I just can't believe that was us 6 weeks ago!  Thinking back to the embarrassment of the article in the paper, all I was thinking was that I didn't want anyone seeing how huge I am.  What way is that to live my life?  I should have been thankful that the paper was promoting Peter Mac, and the Ride to Conquer Cancer.   And all I could worry about was what people would say.  How very sad.

But, I am on to a new chapter in my life, and am just so grateful to Michelle Bridges and her program.  I am loving life!  I am living life!  This is how it should always have been!!!  I just cannot wait for what the future holds for me, my husband & our family.  BRING IT ON!!!

How Many Sleeps?

There is a HUGE couple of months coming up in my life, and I am getting so excited & anxious about them.  Have just worked out how many sleeps...

• 65 sleeps til we go to Perth for the 12wbt Finale

• 70 sleeps until my 40th Birthday!!

• 97 sleeps until we go on our Bali holiday (child free!)

• 115 sleeps until the 200km The Ride to Conquer Cancer Bike Ride

So excited that I will be taking these all on with less weight, a new look on life & hubby who is sharing this fantastic journey with me!!!

BRING IT ON!!!

Day 30...

WOW!!!  It is now exactly 30 days since we started this journey.  And weigh this morning was a loss of 2.1kgs!  Can I hear a whoop whoop?!?!?  Just absolutely amazed that I have lost a total of 8.7kgs in 30 days.  6.9% of my body weight!  And I am feeling bloody fantastic!!!  Why hadn't I stumbled onto "clean" eating before?

Quite amazingly, this clean eating has reduced our rubbish!  We usually have 2 full bins to put out on rubbish collection day, but now we only have one!  Isn't that interesting?  Less packaged food being eaten in this house, and it is having a positive effect on the environment as well!

Onwards & downwards.......

Sick :(

Came down with a cold really quickly.  Hit me like a ton of bricks on Saturday at work, then Sunday I lost my voice.  Didn't deter me from exercising & eating well though.  Saturday we had our PT session at 6.30am (loving our PT!!), and then I went for a short bike ride.  It was supposed to be a big bike ride, but I had my bike in for a service, and due to the bike shop owner being sick, he closed the shop & I couldn't pick the bloody thing up!!!  Yeah, thanks mate!  Borrowed a friend's bike, but it just wasn't happening!  Uncomfortable indeed.  Sunday was pouring with rain, so I walked laps of our underground carpark at work.  Although I didn't feel up to doing the stairs that I usually do, I was proud that I did at least walk for half an hour.
Hubby stayed home from work today to give me rest & look after the kids (it's school holidays).  I had a big sleep in and I've woken feeling so much better. I wonder if I got over this really quickly because of the excellent fuel I am currently running my body on?  Food for thought!
Speaking of food for thought, here are some of the delicious meals we've been having on the 12wbt.... nom nom nom.....

Tuna Niscoise Salad

Scrambled eggs & salad

Chicken & broccolini Laksa

Chicken Rice Paper Rolls

I think I forgot to mention that hubby's blog was one of the Top 10 inspirational blogs in a 12wbt competition.  He won a skincare gift pack, and a teapot & tea gift set.  How nice of him to win a couple of prizes for ME! haha!  So proud of him & his achievements in the last 4 weeks.  I am loving where this 12wbt is taking us as a couple!

My weight this morning - PLEASE LORD let it be this or LESS than this come Wednesday morning!!!  Whoop Whoop!!!

Stumbled across this hilarious post on a blog I read.... all parents (or parents to be) need to check this out for a chuckle..... Ten Things I Want to Tell New Parents

The Biggest Reason for Doing This.....

Monday night we have weekly swimming lessons for the kids.  My eldest has stopped his lessons as he is a terrific and competent swimmer.  We were sitting side by side on the wooden benches, watching the little two have their lessons (daughter was in the other pool behind us), and he reached down & patted my leg and said "Mum, I am very proud of you and all you're doing to lose weight & to get fit & healthy".   Just a flippant comment, out of the blue.  I nearly burst out sobbing there & then.  THIS is the reason I need to do this.  These kids are my everything, and they should have a mum they are proud of, and who can set them the best example of how to live a healthy life.

Just received a message from a friend, who had stumbled across this blog (via my husband's blog).  My first thought was of panic.  Shit, she knows how much I weigh!  And OMG she knows all my failures & has seen my fat photos!  Argggghhhh.  I raced to hubby's blog to find out where the link was, but then I thought.... SO WHAT?!!?  I'm not going to be this fat ever again.  I have made the decision to FINALLY put an end to all the excuses.  I like where hubby and I are heading together, and I should not be embarrassed by my journey to my ultimate goal.  So, this is me.  I weigh 117.7kgs (as of this morning), and I am not going to stop until I get to 65kgs!  Bring it on!!!!

The Demon Called Self Doubt!

Well, had a very deflated day yesterday, and went for a long bike ride, and during it, I had lots of time to think.  Self doubt starting creeping back in!  I can't do this 12wbt - I'm not losing enough weight.  I can't do the exercise every day - I don't have time.  I can't do the 200km bike ride in October - I am not fast enough & I have sore knees.  Self doubt?  Or excuses????  The self doubt thankfully didn't lead to any self sabotage, which is what it would have led to in the past!  I am committed 100% to my clean food intake in this 12wbt, and am not tempted by foods (although the potato chips the kids snacked on yesterday afternoon smelt SOOO good!).
And yes, potato chips.  I am not going to deprive my kids of treats.  Just because we aren't eating crap, doesn't mean the kids can't have an occasional treat.  They are great healthy eaters, and I am happy with their diets!

I caught up for a chit chat with girlfriends last night, and on the table were bowls of lollies, chocolate, chips, dip & bikkies, but I stayed strong! And today I have woken with a new attitude, no more self doubt.  My day was made even brighter with my weight on the scales - 118.1kgs, a drop of 1.1kgs overnight.  Oh, why does it always happen a day later!??!?!

Anyway, in regards my self doubt, I am going to battle with these thoughts & win....

• I can do this 12wbt - as of today I've lost 7.7kgs in 24 days!  That's amazing!!!
• I can do the exercise EVERY day!  I have time, I just have to MAKE it!!!
• I can do the 200km bike ride in October.  I just have to train harder & more often.  And even if it takes me 10 hours a day to ride it,  I will DO it.  It is nothing in comparison what people battling cancer are going through!

I am sure self doubt will rear its ugly head often through this journey, but as long as it doesn't lead to sabotage, I will be fine.  I can battle it & win out, and kick major goals.  I also have the unwavering support of my husband & best friend, who are both doing AMAZING on this as well, and who are both doing the bike ride with me in October!  

Onwards & downwards......

WTF!?!?!?

Yep, just checked my blog, as I am sure I posted a pic the other day showing the scales at 119kgs!  And then a couple of days later they were 118.4kgs.  But TODAY, which is weigh in day, they are 119.2kgs.  WTF!?!?!  A 300gm loss for the week!  I have kept to the plan, I have been exercising!  Where did I go wrong!?!?!?  The only thing I could think of that wasn't 100% was that I didn't drink much water yesterday, but surely that wouldn't lead to a gain.
Okay, rant over.  As a friend has said, it's a loss, and it all goes toward the end result in the grand scheme of things.  Just have to keep positive & keep slogging away at it, and I will get there.
Did my measurements last night & have lost 24cm overall, so that is something positive this week I guess.
I will NOT be disheartened, I will NOT be disheartened!

Monday Funny!

Saw this on Facebook and had to share!  Love it!!!

Ouch!!!

Our PT sessions we have organised are at 6.30am on Saturday mornings.  Nice and handy for us, as it is convenient that the 4 kids are still in bed, and the older ones look after the younger ones when they wake, until we can come inside from the garage.  And I really like the Personal Trainer Dee.  She's no nonsense & says it how it is!
Our first week was just a fitness test that will be revisited every 6 weeks.  This week, we did boxing.  All I can say this morning, a day later, is OUCH!!  It even hurts typing this post!!!
BUT I love it!  I absolutely loved boxing classes when I did them all those years ago, and we're talking about 20 year ago, and yesterday I absolutely loved it too.  There is something about smashing my fist into something that I get absolute pleasure out of!!  I wish I could do it every day.  Hubby and I are going to look into buying some gloves & pads, and doing some boxing ourselves.  Bring it on!!!

My Inspiration Board....

Last week we were set the task on the 12wbt to create an inspiration board.  And here is mine.....

It contains the following:

• Hubby - who is in this with me, and who I love dearly.  I want to look good & feel sexy for him.  We are also doing the Cancer bike ride in October, and I don't want to let him down by being slow & unfit on the ride!
• My 4 kids - I want to be the best version of myself for them, and be a great role model for them as they grow up.  Especially my daughter, as I don't want her to follow in my footsteps of weight battles.
• Clothes - I want to be able to wear gorgeous dresses when we go out & feel comfortable in jeans, and wear a nice tankini on holidays, and not feel like everyone is looking at me, the fat one!
• Fat photos - I will NEVER look like this again!
• Inspirational messages - these keep me in line & remind me why I am doing this!
• Boxing gloves & runners - The "tools" we are using.  We've bought new runners, and we've hired our own PT for Saturday morning sessions in our garage.  We've also bought a new weight station & of course, my trusty xtrainer is a getting a work out too
• Wine - Oh how I miss my white wine in the evenings.  But we are going cold turkey on the wine for 12 weeks to keep ourselves 100% focussed and on task.
• Bali - We're going on a child free holiday in October, and I want to feel fantastic and comfortable with myself.  Also going back in March 2013, and I've promised to take the kids to WaterBom park, and I want to get on those waterslides with my kids!!!!!

The Hunger Games

Well, not exactly fun & games, but I have been feeling hungry the last 2 1/2 weeks eating only 1200 calories.  Looking back, I must have been consuming about 3000-4000 calories a day when not being careful with what I ate!!!  I could easily do 1200 calories on coffees in a day!!!!
For lunch, I now eat a wrap or a sandwich, yes, just one single wrap or sandwich. I would always eat 2 sandwiches at least!  When I dish up dinner, I look forlornly at the huge pile of food on my 11 year old's plate, and then at my own bare plate.  BUT, the strange thing is, I am beginning to like the feeling I have of hunger.  Now, don't get me wrong, it's not ravenous hunger.  When I feel like that, I have an early lunch, or a snack to tide me over to my next meal.  It's hard to explain.  For instance, I have just had a cup of green tea, a bowl of muesli & yoghurt with Skinny Milk, and I still have a feeling of hunger - like I could eat another 2 bowls of it!  So, really I have had enough to satisfy myself, but I still have a little niggling feeling of hunger.  Does that make sense?  Anyway, it is this feeling that I am learning to love.  It's like I know I am doing something right.  Strange, but I'll run with it.

Last Monday, under 120kgs!  Whoot Whoot!

Today, weighing in at 119kgs!  

Yes, I know I shouldn't weigh in every day (or at night, or after a shower, or after a wee, or after exercising), but I just can't help it....  "My name is Julie & I am a serial weigher"!  I find it helps to keep me on track.  If I see the scales not moving, I know I have to up the anti a bit.  And if the scales ARE moving, then I know I'm on the right track.
Monday I did a happy dance when I finally weighed in at under 120kgs!  Whoot Whoot!  Yes, I know that feeling, and have been there before (*sigh*), but I swear I will never be back there again!
By the end of this 12wbt, I plan on being under 110kgs.  9kgs to go in 9 weeks & I am going to SMASH it!!!  And of course, there is my ultimate goal of being in double digits!  I just cannot imagine how great that would feel.  I was right there last year before we went to Bali in March, before everything became unravelled - I think I weighed in that week at about 100.3kgs!  Oh, how I am desperate for this!
Hubby is still on a hot roll with his weightloss too, and he's even started his own blog.  He hasn't ceased to amaze me in the last couple of weeks!!!
Check out his blog here....    20 Years of Living in the Dark

Onwards & downwards.....

Grumpy Pants!!

Geez, I am SOOOO bloody grumpy!!  And the poor kids have copped the brunt of it today!  I don't know what is wrong with me, but I am just sooooooo tired, and I could've just lay down anytime today for a big sleep.
Michelle Bridges had a live feed on her website last night & she was answering questions from the 12wbt members.  She mentioned that Week 3 is generally the time when you feel a slump coming on, and boy, was she right!  I just feel so lazy.  And all I want to do is eat!  Of course, I am still exercising, even when I would prefer to be laying about on the couch in my pjs & Ugg boots!!!  Speaking of which, just got my first pair of Ugg boots this week, and can I just say "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME HOW COMFY THEY ARE"????  I do have to confess, I did wear them once to Kinder pick up, and I think I will be wearing them a few times over the next few very cold winter weeks to work!!!!  I am going to ignore the thought that only bogans wear Ugg boots!  I just love them, and wish I had of bought another pair in a different colour (mine are chocolate).
Anyway, I digress!  Even though I want to be lazing about, I am living by the saying hubby and I use frequently - "NO EXCUSES"  and Michelle's saying "JFDI" (Just F^&^%^ Do It).   It's tough, but I think of how I want to look and feel, and it helps to spur me on.  My eating has been brilliant too - clean & simple, and I am feeling wonderful for it.
Onwards & downwards......

Man Vs Woman

Well, we're into week 3 now of the 12wbt, and hubby and I are still going great guns.  But I thought I'd take a minute to write about the frustrations of men losing weight and women losing weight.
TTOM (That Time of Month) arrived for me last night, and then with my sneaky daily weigh in, it showed a gain of 200gms overnight as well.  How frustrating is it for us women, that once a month we must be heavier because of TTOM!!  ARRGGHHH I could scream.  Of course, before TTOM we have to go through the emotional hormonal roller coaster  - last night I bit off hubby's head & spat it out just because I was tired & grumpy & didn't get to sit down on the couch until 9.30pm!!!   And then the hormonal "need" to eat as much crap as possible.  Thankfully, I am well on track with my eating, so when I noticed my increased hunger in the last few days, I made good choices.   For instance, I had 2 wraps yesterday instead of one, but I had the extra calories cause I was only having pumpkin soup for dinner.
But of course, the husband is going great guns.  He even did a boxing class last night at a local gym.  So very proud of him, but also a bit in awe, as I have never known him to want to exercise or be fit since we have known each other.  So glad he had his lightbulb moment.  For his sake & for mine - it makes it so much easier for me when he is focussed & on track!
And of course, my best friend is also on this journey & going great guns.  So proud of her too.  I know how hard it is to be a working Mum & stay on track, but she is a machine when she puts her mind to something!
Something that I thought about last night whilst doing the laundry (at 10.30pm!!!!) in my foul premenstrual mood.  Michelle Bridges, in the week 1 of the 12wbt, said that there is no excuse to not exercise.  If the previous Prime Minister of Australia could make time to exercise each morning, then surely we could.
Well, I am sure the PM didn't have to do his own washing, and that of 5 other family members!  I am sure he didn't have to prepare any meals, let alone that of a family of 6.  I am sure he didn't have to run around after 4 kids, with school, kinder, ballet, footy, swimming, art class, parties, sleepovers, etc.  And throw in 20+ hours of evening & weekend shifts at work!
Yes, he had a country to run, but he had numerous people to help him!!!!!  Grrrrrrrrr!!! Ahhh, how much better I feel having got that off my chest!!!
Onwards & downwards.....

12wbt Second Weigh In

Second weigh in today for the 12wbt & over the moon to report a loss of 3.4kgs. I have now lost 5.1kgs since starting this program 9 days ago!  It's just amazing!  And all I can say is "Why didn't anyone tell me about this program sooner"????  The hubby has dropped a total of 6kgs as well, so together, we are firing!
That's not to say the last 9 days have been smooth sailing.  As per my last post, there were a couple of nights when tears were shed, and a couple of times I've been so exhausted I've bitten hubby's head off.  I hate cooking at the best of times, and I just seem to always be in the kitchen!!  Of course, you don't have to follow the nutrition plan to the T, but it was something we both decided together we would do, and we've made the menu plan accommodate our family of six.
However, all in all, it's been a great experience so far.  It takes a lot more planning than I am used to, but the menu is such a variety, that it hasn't caused me to want for anything yet.  And although I am very tired and it seems that every inch of my body aches,  I am loving the feeling of it.
And it's helped me change my mindset.  There are no excuses anymore.  I am exercising every day whether I like it or not!
Today is the only day of the week I get 3 hours to myself whilst the youngest is at Kinder, but I still got on the bike for an hour & went for a ride.  The thought of lying on the couch with a cup of green tea watching some crap TV was definitely something I preferred to do, but I made sure I got out & just friggin did it!  And I feel so much better for it now!
Onwards & downwards.... Loving this!!!

Week 2 of 12wbt

Wow!  What a week!  Round 2 of Michelle Bridges' 12wbt (12 Week Body Transformation) started last Monday 4th June, coincidentally, Owen's 5th Birthday!  Hubby and I were as anxious as ever, and keen to get started.  The Thursday before, our menu plans & exercise plans for the week were released, as well as a shopping list for everything we would need.  We were set!  Had to make a few adjustments to accommodate cooking for the family, as the menu & shopping list only serves two, but otherwise, we were ready to go!!
When Monday arrived, we both were keen as mustard & had engines roaring.  We took photos of ourselves in our underwear.  And we weighed in - I weighed in at a hefty 125.8kgs.  I'm not yet game enough to post my underwear shots on here, but I am sure I will at a later date when I have updated photos to compare them to.

Turkey Mountain bread wrap

Beef Fajita

Apple tart with low fat ice-cream

 The food on this plan is sensational, and our kids have really loved it too.  This last week for dinner, we have had such meals as Vietnamese Beef noodle soup, Penang Chicken, beef fajita, cajun chicken, lamb cutlets, Mexican Shepherds Pie & crumbed fish.  All absolutely delish!!!  The brekkies & lunches have been just as superb, and it has been relatively easy to stick to the 1200cals a day with the menu like this.  There were a couple of days were I felt really hungry, but they've passed, and I've also come to realise that those times I felt starving were time where I was at home & bored & looking for something (other than housework) to fill my time, so obviously boredom has played a bit of a part in that.
Now, the exercise.  Let me just say, there were a couple of days of tears earlier on in the week.  On this plan, for someone like me who weighs over 100kgs, we are supposed to burn 500+ calories a day & 1000+ calories on our Super Saturday Session (known as SSS).  On the very first day, it took me well over 2 hours to burn 500 calories.  It was 10pm at night & I broke down.  There was no way I could sustain a program like this!!  Where was I going to find the time in my busy schedule with work & looking after 4 children to exercise for 2 hours a day, and then 4 hours on a Saturday?!?!!  Just impossible!  On Tuesday I exercised for over an hour & only burnt 320 calories, Wednesday I didn't manage it again, and yet again more late night tears were shed.
Until I came to the realisation, I am exercising every day for at least an hour.  I am moving my arse & sticking to the food plan perfectly.  The scales are moving in the right direction, so obviously I am doing something right!?!!?  Stuff the 500cals for the moment.  I will give my all for an hour of my day, regardless of the calories (although I am still wearing my Heart Rate Monitor just to keep track!).  It was like the cloudy skies parted & the sun shone through!  Alleluia!
Anyway, exercise this week has consisted of Michelle Bridges' workout DVDs, walking, xtrainer, and stairs. Having worked 3 long 8+ hour shifts the last 3 days, I was concerned at how I was going to get my exercise in.  I get 2 x 15min breaks at work plus a half hour lunch break.  A friend at work & walked the half an hour every lunch break (130 calories), and I spent 10 minutes of each of my breaks going up & down a flight of stairs (90 calories each session).  Let's just say, my legs have been so sore I have been hardly able to walk, and I have muscles aching I never knew existed in my legs!  I'm loving it!  As the stairs are right next to the toilet at work, I have made myself go & up down the stairs once every time I go to the toilet - which is a hell of a lot due to the amount of water i am drinking at the moment.   Feeling so very proud of the little things I have achieved this week.
And did I mention - NO WINE??!!  Not one drop!  YAY!!
So, our weigh in day on the plan is Wednesdays.  Our first Wednesday weigh in, only 2 days into the plan, and I weighed in at 124.1kgs - a loss of 1.7kgs.  Amazing!!!  Looking forward to our next weigh in tomorrow.

Michelle Bridge's 12 Week Body Transformation

Geez, it's been a few weeks since I've posted, but not much has been going on, except busy life with work & the four kids.

I stumbled across Michelle Bridge's 12 Week Body Transformation (12wbt) last week, and I've decided to give it a go.  And after getting hubby to check it out, he's signed up for it as well.  A bit pricey - cost us $200 each, so I've cancelled my WW subscriptions while I do this program for 3 months.

Michelle Bridge's is one of the trainers on Australian Biggest Loser, and her program runs for 12 weeks starting from 4th June.  It's an exercise & food program, based on consuming only 1200 calories per day, and burning 500 calories 6 days a week with exercise.  

In preparation (pre season she calls it) she sets a few tasks, like listing your excuses & your goals, cleaning out your pantry & just getting organised, etc to make sure you have everything ready to go to get you through the 12 weeks.  In preparation, I had a HUGE pantry clean up yesterday.  Fortunately we eat well in this house already, so I only needed to get rid of things like white rice, Jasmine rice, etc, and I put the kids junk in a container labelled "Treats".   I also have bought Michelle's set of 3 exercise DVDs (they haven't arrived in the post yet though), Polar heart rate monitors for hubby and I, an aerobic step & some dumb bells.   We're both pumped & ready to get on this 100%.

One of the tasks set is to write down my commitment, and here it is....

I am making the commitment today to STICK with this 12wbt program.  I am going to stay off the booze for the duration, limit my food intake to 1200 calories & exercise like a Trojan.  I am making the commitment that I WILL lose 20kgs in 12 weeks & I am going to look & feel fantastic, and be on my way to a fit & healthy life.

I cannot wait.  I am so excited to get this thing started!  BRING IT ON!!!

On A Roll......

....to lose these rolls!!!
Still very focussed and on track, and I must admit I really am surprised how quickly I got back into the swing of exercising daily, tracking & drinking water.  Have had a few glasses of red wine, but all within my points, and feeling so in control and unbelievably HAPPY!!!  Isn't it amazing how great you feel when you move & eat well!?!?  Just have to keep in focus & not let anything derail me.  NO EXCUSES!!!
Onwards & downwards.....

On My Way...

A loss of 1.1kgs today.  Whoop whoop!  To be honest, I was genuinely surprised.  It's only been a few days that I have been back on track, but I guess I am lucky my good days have outweighed the bad days.
Hopefully I can stay in this "zone".  I seem to have been in & out of the zone frequently over the last 14 months, so I just have to keep taking it one day at a time, and string lots of good days & good losses together until it becomes second nature again for me to be living every day as a Weight Watcher.

It was raining yesterday & I had the hands of my two boys as we ran across the road after kinder & my 4yo commented "You can't run".  I had just run (well, as best as I could with my bad ankle) but I asked him what he meant by that & he replied "You have to lose weight before you can run".  Talk about a comment taking me completely by surprise!!  I asked him where he had heard that, and he commented "I just thought of it now myself".   Just goes to show, as I commented in my last post, that I need to be a role model to my kids, and if my 4yo is already thinking I need to lose weight, then lose weight I will!!!!

Have been doing a minimum of 30 minutes a day on the xtrainer, and I find if I take a book & read whilst on it, I can keep up a steady pace & not be watching the clock, and the time flies by.  Currently reading the third book in "The Hunger Games" trilogy, and just can't put it down. Dying to see the movie!

Have also been spending a hell of a lot of time this last week decluttering.  The weather in Melbourne has been really cold & wet, so we've been housebound a lot, and to keep myself busy, I've been doing cupboards, rooms, and anywhere I think needs a good clear out.  Have been addicted to a website, which has become one of my favourites lately........  The Organised Housewife.  Would love to have a blog about decluttering & being organised as I am so obsessed about it!!!

Anyway, will keep plodding on.  Drinking water, tracking, and exercising....

Onwards & downwards.....

The Penny Has Dropped..... Again....

Yes, well, re-reading back on my last post, I started with good intentions, but it did actually take a couple of days for the penny to actually drop.  I caught a sight of myself down at the shopping centre the other morning, a reflection in a shop window, the back of my shirt hitched up over my big arse, and I think it gave me the jolt I needed.  It reminded me of the way I felt when I had lost over 30kgs and was so close to 100kgs in March last year.....

• I liked to catch my reflection every now & then, as it would give me a shock to see how much weight I had lost, and how far I had come.
• I liked to dress nicely & buy new clothes, and took more time with my appearance, something I don't bother with when I am bigger.
• I liked my husband to show me affection & intimacy, but now I feel embarrassed & disgusted at the weight I have gained.
• I was spurred on by all the comments of friends and acquaintances about how great I looked, & how fantastic I was doing.  I remember EVERY single comment people gave me, and I want that feeling back again.
• I loved the conversations I had with the kids about health & fitness, and how my son (who was 10 at the time) gave me a magnet that he had made on Mothers' Day, with words to describe me.  One of them was the word "FIT".  I want my kids to think of me as fit & healthy, and I want to be a role model for them, especially my daughter.

I don't want to feel embarrassed anymore.  Embarrassed because I am so fat, and embarrassed in front of all those people who saw me lose the weight, and have now seen me gain it again.

23 weeks til we go to Bali.  I am taking things one day at a time, but I must admit, I would LOVE to drop 20kgs in that time.  It's realistic.  I can do it, but will focus on just getting through today, and then getting through tomorrow...

I've been gathering inspiring slogans whenever I see them.  Good visual reminders!!!

YAY I did it!

Yep, got off my butt from the computer yesterday & jumped straight onto the xtrainer.  Managed a good half an hour.  Will try for longer today!!  Have been reading "The Hunger Games", and find it easily to get lost in a book whilst on the xtrainer, so the time just slips away.
Started tracking again today.  Now to tackle the water.
Onwards & downwards....

Sick.Of.It!!!!

Wow, it's been so long since I have posted, that Blogspot have changed all their features, so it is all a bit new & strange to me trying to work out how to post!!!!
Anyhow, over 3 weeks have passed, and it's been school holidays.  We spent a week at our Caravan in Cobram over Easter.  Callum turned 11 years old, and had a sleepover party with 8 boys staying the night.  Fun. Not!  We had a lovely wedding to attend in the Dandenongs.  And I have eaten & drank my way to a 2.1kg gain in that time.  No excuses.  No reasons.  Just because.

And as the title of this post reads, I am sick of it.  Just sick of being unable to get motivated.  Sick of being fat.  Sick of the way I look.  I just cannot find that bloody mojo.  Where is it hiding?  Oh where, oh where can it be?!?  Each day I wake up with renewed enthusiasm, and by lunchtime, I have given up tracking & can't be bothered exercising.  Water?  Who's drinking water?  Not I!
But the most frustrating thing is I KNOW that I can do this.  And I KNOW how good I feel when I am "in the zone".   It is driving me crazy because I know that my 40th Birthday, the Bali trip & the 200km bike ride are all in just over 5 months, and if I want to achieve anything, then I need to start now.

Hmmmm, just typing this out right now has stirred something in me.  I need to start today.  Right this second I need to get off this blog & get on that Xtrainer.  And track.  And drink my water.  I can do this!  

Watch this space.......

Callum's 11th Birthday Party, with his cool Burger cake!

Hubby & I at the wedding last weekend.

Tears & Tantrums, and an Anniversary!

It's been a ridiculously busy week.  And somewhere in there, hubby and I celebrated our 10th Wedding Anniversary.  And how did we celebrate it?  We went to the school fete.  Ho hum.  And then had a fight that resulted in hubby going to bed early, and me drinking a bottle of wine whilst on the couch with a block of chocolate.  Oh dear!
Anyway, tensions have been high this week, and I have had more than a few days of tears & tantrums.  Unfortunately the kids have copped the brunt of it, and it has made me have a good hard look at myself and ask if I have been sinking back into the depths of depression.   I don't think so.  I am just currently feeling exhausted (still not 100% from the Vertigo) and extremely overwhelmed.  The kids after school activities are definitely taking a toll on my patience, and I just seem to have to be rushing everywhere & not have any time for myself.  It is extremely frustrating & making me VERY grumpy.  Discussions on quitting my job, and other alternatives have come up between hubby and myself (sometimes not very nicely), and we have decided today that perhaps we should get a fortnightly cleaner, just for a few hours to help ease the burden.  We'll give it a try & see how go!  Fingers crossed....
Anyway, Weight Watchers this week has been going great on the weekdays, but I went a bit overboard on the weekend with wine & food.  I did count ALL the points for everything that I ate & drank, which is something I haven't been doing, so that's one good thing to come of this week.  I have also managed to get on the xtrainer nearly every day.  And with my efforts came a loss of 1.9kgs this morning at my meeting.  Fantastic result, but I have to keep in mind the gain of 3.2kgs I had last week.
So now comes the big battle.  I'm not weighing in for 2 weeks due to the Easter holidays & us going away.  I have to keep up with the exercise - xtrainer when I am home, and we are taking our bikes away with us, so lots of riding planned.  I need to drink WATER at every opportunity, and TRACK TRACK TRACK even if I can't weigh everything I eat whilst away, I can estimate to keep my going.  And I need to keep away from the Easter egg chocolate & hot cross buns (my favourite dropping with butter!).
So, onwards & downwards......

No Looking Back.....

Feeling so much better, although not yet 100%, and was able to make it to work over the weekend.  Was also able to make it to a work dinner at The Melba Restaurant at The Langham Hotel on Southbank in Melbourne.  Wow, what a dinner it was!  A beautiful a la carte smorgasbord, complete with sushi made to order, Indian naan bread cooked fresh to order, seafood galore, Peking duck pancakes made to order, full carvery, and a mini dessert selection, complete with chocolate fountain, to die for!!!!  I didn't give WW a thought, and here's a picture of my dessert plate, as I wanted a taste of everything.  I didn't eat it all of course, but must admit, the Creme Brûlée was AMAZING!!!

That night I went to bed and was unable to sleep due to my aching belly.  Piggery at it's greatest, and definitely not something I will want to repeat in a hurry.  I wasn't surprised when I weighed over 2kgs heavier in the morning after plates & plates of food!!!

Footy training started for my eldest son on Monday night, and I found it extremely hard to get out of the car once we were there.  The group of Mums I hang out with during footy season were so encouraging of me last year & the year before & the comments they gave me about how good I looked are something I remember vividly.  TO say I was embarrassed for them to see me 20+kgs heavier is an understatement.  As I got back in the car after training, I closed my eyes for a minute and made a mental note to remember that feeling.  Whenever I start to get off track again, I need to draw on the feeling for inspiration.  It was a terrible & gut wrenching feeling of shame & embarrassment, and I want to remember it ALWAYS.

I managed to get to my WW meeting yesterday, and was a little shocked my gain was so high.  3.6kgs!!! WTF!?!?!  Okay, I know I would have had a gain after that dinner on Sunday night, and of course I haven't tracked my food for 3 weeks, but 3.6kgs?!?!  WOW.  I was astounded.  And disappointed.  And ashamed.  Again!

This time in March last year, I weighed 22.1kgs less.  God, I felt fantastic.  I'm devastated!

Anyway, as I expressed my dismay when stepping off the scales yesterday, the WW assistant who was weighing me said something that made an impact.  "Don't look back.  It's in the past.  Look forward".   I got home & jumped on the xtrainer.  I made sure I walked to Kinder for the pick up of my 4yo.  And then I walked to school to pick up my kids, which was no easy feat - 45min round trip, pushing a double pram loaded with scooters & helmets for the older kids on the way there, and then loaded with school bags on the way home.  Today I am feeling it all over - even in my tummy muscles!  And I love the feeling!!!!

So, I have to remember, I may have many bumps in the road, and will just think of this last year as a BIG bump - getting off track with hubby being depressed about his working life, then trying to eat & drink my way through dealing with my Dad's cancer.  And then the last couple of weeks I've had a bump with sickness.  But, I can do this.  And I am going to do this.  I will take it one day at a time, and string my good days together to form good weeks with good losses.  And then will string my weeks together to form good months, and I will watch the kilos fall away.  I am not looking back....

Onwards & downwards.....

Vertigo...

The virus I have had had lead to an inner ear infection, that has caused vertigo, so I have been out of action for 10 days now.  Hubby has had to take the week off work as I've been unable to do anything due to dizziness.  I've just ventured between the bed & couch.  Walking & standing has made me dizzy & nauseous.  Such a bloody frustrating illness to have!  The prognosis from the doctor was it could take 4-6 weeks to improve!!!
So, I've had a week off work, been unable to do the 2 big bike rides we had planned last weekend, and eating has been TERRIBLE!  Such a wasted shame on my part as I've had no appetite, so it could have been a perfect opportunity to drop some KGs, but no, I sunk back to what I do best - eating crap to try & make me feel better.
The upside is that today (Friday) I am feeling better, and I am absolutely RARING to go with exercise & WW.  I'm tempted to jump on the xtrainer today, but I am wanting to return to work tomorrow, so don't want to overdo things.
Good news also today that hubby has raised his $2500 to partake in the Cure to Conquer Cancer ride, and I have so far raised $950.  Just so frustrated that I can't get people to dig into their hip pockets for this!!  What is wrong with some people!?!??!

Anyway, hopefully next week I will be 100%, and be able to get to my WW meeting for an official weigh in.  Onwards & downwards......

Sick, and No Weigh In....

I am still sick with this bloody virus.  Thankfully, the kids are all better though.  Therefore I didn't make it to my meeting & weigh in, so I'm not going to officially post a figure.  I am using my home scales as a guide, but will only post "official" weight as per the WW scales.
I am just feeling so lethargic & horrid, and can't wait for this to pass.  All I want to do is lay on the couch in front of the TV or sleep.  Terrible!  I just want it to hurry up & pass so I have some energy.
Back to tracking, and will be back on board with exercise soon once I feel better.  Will up the water intake today as well.
Onwards & downwards......

Time to Pull My Finger Out!!

It's been a hectic week & a half, which is why I haven't posted lately.  Since my last post, I had the best weekend meeting the WW girls.  We all just "clicked" straight away & spent a lovely weekend eating & drinking in the Melbourne CBD.  I am lucky to have met such wonderful women, who I count as some of my closest friends.  After all, they know so much about me after all these years!!  And what an effort some of them made to get here - from New Zealand, New South Wales, ACT, Queensland & around Victoria.  Amazing, and I am truly so lucky to have found these girls!!!
Anyway, Febfast is now over, although I did drink on the Saturday night of the catchup.  I didn't do Febfast as a fundraising drive like last year, just for myself really.  I am putting all my fundraising efforts into the Cancer ride.  We had an orientation session for the ride last week, and it has made me so excited about it.  I've so far raised over $700!!  Only $1800 to go.  I'm still amazed at what tight arses some people can be.  It's for a fantastic cause AND it's a tax deductible donation!  What the hell is wrong with people!?!?  I look at the people I work with, who buy takeaway once or twice a day, not to mention takeaway coffees, and they can't spare $10-$20?? I just don't get it!  I must admit, it does make me furious, as I ALWAYS donate when friends ask me to.
So, the week after the girls' weekend, I failed to track.  I failed to exercise.  I failed to drink water.  And I had a loss of 200gms at last week's weigh in.
This week, I have failed to track.  I have failed to exercise.  And I have failed to drink water.  I've just felt terrible the last week - exhausted (working too much!!!) and run down & generally unhappy.  My oldest & youngest boys have come down with the virus that is going around - headaches & fevers, and today I have woken up with it as well, and as an added bonus, TTOM arrived to boot!  Joy!  The only good thing is I have no appetite!!!
Anyway, as the title of this post reads, it's time to pull my finger out.  200gm losses each week for the last month is just ridiculous.  I need to get serious.  So, as soon as I feel well again, it's back to tracking 100% of the time, and back to the xtrainer/bike riding, cause before I know it October will be here with my Bali trip & then the 200km bike ride, and I need to shed this weight before both of those occasions!

Onwards & downwards....