12 Things I Have Learnt About Myself on the 12 Week Body Transformation

I saw someone else post a list of 12 things that they have learnt about themselves in the last 12 weeks.  And I thought I'd add mine!  So here we go....

1. I can do anything I put my mind to
2. Eating clean makes you feel brilliant!
3. My body & mind are stronger than I think
4. Coffee is a great laxative
5. Fish Stew isn't as gross as it sounds!
6. My husband is pretty amazing!!!
7. I need to learn how to accept compliments, cause they are coming in thick & fast
8. I lurvvvveeee boxing
9. There are way too many 12wbt groups on Facebook!
10. After not eating pork my entire life, I now actually don't mind it!
11. Forty is not too old to turn your life around - the future is very bright!
12. My kids don't like it when I pick them up from school & announce we're walking home!

Some recent pictures...

The crap my work colleagues eat!!!

The lovely stuff I eat - Beef, horseradish & beetroot sandwich

I was Henna painted at work!  Noice!

The SpiBelt I won through the 12wbt when Mish read out my question on saggy skin during a live feed.

The electrical pulse machine I get hooked up to every physio visit.

Rd3 Wk1 Weigh In

Seems a bit crazy weighing in after just 2 days on the program!  Happy to report a 600gms loss.  Only a teeny loss, but I am sooooo relieved after my sneaky weigh ins on the weekend showed I was up over 2kgs on last week's weight.  Bloody jam sandwiches & wine!!!

Anyway, the round has started off well, and I am still really focussed and wanting to achieve great things, afterall, this is the round that I get to weigh under 100kgs - I cannot wait!!!!  And I really want to prove to myself that I can DO THIS with all the challenges that I am going to be confronted with - Finale weekend in Perth, Communion party for my daughter, my 40th birthday (we've bought a bottle of Veuve to celebrate!), then my birthday party, not to mention Bali in 6 weeks time!  BIG challenges ahead, but I CAN do it!  I WILL do it!!!!

It seems I have inspired 7 (!!!!) people to jump on the 12wbt band wagon.  That just blows my mind!  That 7 people thought I was inspiring enough to give this program a shot.  And they are doing so well 2 days in, and I am happy to guide them, help them with any questions and share the journey with them.  It just makes sense to me this program - eat clean, train well, and you will see the results & feel AMAZING!!  I just can't thank Michelle Bridges & her crew enough in what they have done for hubby and I.  We have a new way of life that is beyond what I could have ever hoped for!

RIP Neil Armstrong!

I am excited by the things I am going to challenge myself to do from now.  We're going to climb Jacob's Ladder in Perth next month.  In November, we are going paint balling!  And then for the finale of this round in Sydney, we are going to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge.  Yes, me!  With my dickie ankle & all!  I am going to climb to the top of the bridge!!!  I cannot wait!!

So here's to another week of eating clean, training hard & making my life better!!!!

Onwards & downwards!

Ready to Rock Round 3

I ordered an outfit online for the 12wbt Finale in a couple of weeks time in Perth.  The store is in Richmond, on the other side of Melbourne, and I thought it would be easier to just have the item delivered, than drag the kids along with me, or waste my time battling traffic.  The garment arrived, and I loved it!!!!  However, it didn't sit right.  My Size 22 outfit was too big!

I called them up & I could mail it back & they repost a smaller size, but instead I decided to trek to the store, 2 feral children in tow & try on the size 20.  It fit!  YAY!  I then thought I'd just try a size 18 in case.  It probably wouldn't fit, but while I was standing there in my bra & undies, I  might as well give it a go.  And it fit!  HOLY COW!!!  That's when it ACTUALLY dawned on me..... I've lost weight!  I am smaller!  I fit into a size 18!!!!!  And you know how you always HATE your reflection in those changing room mirrors - well I actually LIKED mine!  Saggy skin, bumps, lumps and all.

However, it seemed a day later after this realisation that I am actually smaller, that I let the wheels fall off.  Hubby and I have been having a few wines the last couple of nights to celebrate the end of the round, but realise we can't fall back into old habits, so it was only a couple of nights, and THAT'S IT!! However, yesterday, while making my 5yo a jam sandwich, I decided I would like one too.  Not much of a problem, however, I had just had lunch already.  And I didn't eat just one slice of bread with butter & jam - I ate five!!!!  FIVE!  F.I.V.E!!!  WTF was I thinking (besides the fact "ohhhh, yummm")?  Bread lathered with jam & butter is one of my all time favourite things, but did I need 5 slices of it??  Totalling 699 calories!!!!  NO!  So why did I do it?

I have no clue to the REAL reason I did it.  But I do know I was thinking that I deserved it.  That I had just lost 17.7kgs, so why the hell not eat 5 slices of bread!  It is a pattern that I am familiar with - doing a great job & sabotaging myself.  And this is the reason that I find the 12wbt so wonderful - the mindset lessons I am learning.  This is why I need to continue this program!  Sure, it was only one real bingeing issue in 12 weeks, but it is lying there underneath the surface, and it is something that I need to conquer to ensure it never happens again.

So, after a few nights of indulging in wines, and a day of eating more bread than I have consumed in  12 weeks, the scales are showing me nearly 2kgs heavier.  Not the way I wanted to start the next round off, but I will OWN it, and work my butt of between now & Wednesday to minimise the damage.  I am RARING TO GO with this next round!!!  Lots of obstacles coming up (Perth finale, 40th Birthday party, trip to Bali) but I am going to SMASH it!!!!!

BRING IT ON BABY!!!!!!!!!

A Day of Highs & Lows

It's here!  The final weigh in day of the 12wbt.  I can't believe how far Greg and I have come together in this journey.  What a ride!!!  But, of course, it's not over.  Just the beginning of the rest of our lives!  And Round 3 of the 12wbt starts Monday!!!

Weigh in for me this morning saw a loss of 1.8kgs (bugger that I had gained that extra 1.5kgs lost with the gastro!!!), so I have had an overall loss of 17.7kgs in 12 weeks.   14.1% loss of my body weight.  Frigging amazing!!!  So very proud of myself!!  Greg has lost an amazing 24.5kgs!!!!  UN-BLOODY-BELIEVABLE!!!!

So, a great & happy start to the day came crashing down with a thud.  This morning I had my 16 year old dog Daisy put down.  She would have been 17 in a few months.  I remember the day I saw the little white fluff ball in a pet shop in Williamstown, and I bought her for myself as a Valentine's Day present from my then fiancé.  Of course, he was none too impressed with her, as we already had 2 big dogs at home, but I was besotted!!   She had many adventures, moving from house to house with me.  She sat on my lap as I drove my car, even came with me to many a Sunday session at the pubs/cafes in Williamstown on a sunny afternoon.  I must admit my baby became a bit neglected once I had babies of the human kind, but she was such a great dog.  Never a nuisance with her barking, always taking on the bigger dogs to protect her owner.  Always happy to see the kids & they loved her being a part of their lives.  In the last couple of months, she went downhill rapidly, and I had been putting off for weeks the inevitable.  This morning as I was getting on my bike, I looked down at her sniffing my leg & made the heartbreaking decision that it had to be done.  I originally asked Greg to take her to the vet, but then decided it couldn't be done by anyone else, it had to be me.  It should be me there holding her & scratching her behind her ears as she left this world.  And so it was.  I held her as she took her last breath & have brought her home to be buried in the garden, where we will plant something special in memory of our darling Daisy.

I've Found the Ultimate Diet!!!

Yep, it's gastro!!!  It was inevitable I was going to catch it off the kids.  They, however, just had the vomits, and I won the jackpot with it coming out of both ends!!!  TMI??

Anyway, a 2kg loss overnight - BONUS!!  If only it would stay off, but of course I am bound to gain once I start eating again.  Yuk, even the thought of food makes me want to puke at the moment!  So off I go to bed again.  No SSS exercise session for me today!!! :(

Wise Dr Seuss!

Who Is This Man???

That's the question I keep asking myself about hubby.  I feel like I'm living with a stranger.  Someone who goes out for a run at 8pm at night!  Someone who wakes early to get some KMs done on the bike. Someone who is ignoring those Pizza Shapes in the top "snack" cupboard!!!  Don't get me wrong - I am so proud & think it is fantastic that he is turning into the man he "wants" to be (with a hot bod to boot!), but I have never ever known my hubby to be this person!  The change over the last 10 weeks has been amazing to watch.  He will soon be at a weight he's never been whilst I have known him!!!!  So very proud & full of love for him x

Working on one of the things I loved about Greg when I met him - his muscly calves!!

So, yesterday was weigh in, and a loss of 900gms for me.  Initially I was a teeny bit disappointed, but then I realised my weight is now 109.9kgs!  Whoop whoop - under 110kgs.  I am chasing down that 100kg mark now - double digits are within my sight!!!  I am so over the moon!  And something else that I have worked hard on over the last 11 weeks is to stop comparing my weightloss journey to other people's journey.  I now don't compare myself to anyone else.  This is about me (and my family) and I don't care how slow/fast I do it, as long as I JFDI!!!

Here, here!

Today of course, Murphy's Law, I am down another 600gms.  Why are Thursdays my best weigh in day, I will never know!!!  Unfortunately I've been up all night with a vomiting 3 year old, so already the excuses are flooding me!  Doubt I will be able to do any sort of exercise today, but I'll just make today my rest day.  Need to keep my nutrition in check and TRY to consume some water!!

Love this!!!

Motivation Out of Hibernation!

It's Monday again!  The weekends go by far too quickly, especially when I am working, like I did yesterday (10.30am-6.30pm).  Mondayitis seems to have hit me, because I just cannot be stuffed doing ANYTHING!!!

A picture above of batch of mini Banana bread muffins I made.  12wbt recipe of course.  It usually makes 2 loaves of bread, but it made up 57 mini muffins at 75 calories each.  However, we did notice they were a bit dry, and it wasn't until a couple of hours later we found the melted butter in the microwave - I'd forgotten to put it in!!  They're still yummy though, and less calories without the butter!!  Doh!

Hubby commented we don't have any photos of us exercising, which we should take as a reminder of our journey.  I'll have to make sure we get the camera out during our next Saturday morning boxing session!!!  Above is me on the indoor bike trainer, which I find so incredibly BORING!  It does chew up the calories though.  God I look grumpy!!

As of yesterday I've been planning a small 40th party for me next month & I've decided to have it as a pirate theme!  Going to love to see everyone dressing up as pirates.  I've already ordered my cake & have a list of fabulous decorations I want to purchase to make our pergola area a bit "nautical".  Cannot wait!!

I've also just done my Round 3 Commitment & here it is...

My commitment to this, my second round of 12wbt, is to continue with eating clean, and to continue exercising 6 days a week. I commit to losing a minimum of 15kgs in the 12 weeks, which will see me reach double digits (finally!!!) and to continue on to building a happier & healthier life for my husband, my 4 kids & myself. I commit to continue supporting my husband 100% in his own journey on the 12wbt. I commit to stepping up my exercise & pushing myself that little bit harder. Bring it on!!!!


So, after a SHIT week of Paige home vomiting, Owen home with school sores on his face, and now Aidan with a sore throat & temperature, I succumbed on a couple of occasions to a glass of wine.  Yep, put me over my calories, and I should have known better, so this is something I will work on.  At least I didn't snack on crap!!!  So a small bonus!

Anyway, with tracking my calories, here are my calories in & out since Wednesday:-

• Wednesday - Calories in: 1189, Calories out: 463
• Thursday - Calories in: 1732, Calories out: 227
• Friday - Calories in: 1205, Calories out: 330
• Saturday - Calories in: 1760, Calories out: 591
• Sunday - Calories in: 1650, Calories out: 167

So, three days out of the last week where wine has put me over the calories for the day.  I will NOT be repeating this.  It's done & dusted now, and I hope I have not undone all my clean eating & hard work because of it.  I really need to step up my exercise as well, which I have slacked off with this last week,  but I struggle to find time to exercise for more than an hour!  It's definitely my goal for next round though.  Time to step it up!!!

Feeling Foolish, and the BIG 4.0.

Well, yes, I am feeling a bit foolish after yesterday's post.  BUT, I am trying to put my feelings out there as honestly as possible, and yesterday I just felt down-trodden at the fact the scales had not moved downwards in 6 days!  However, as Ros (thanks for your comment Ros!!!) & my always supportive hubby have kindly reminded me, this is about the BIG picture and not just a week!  I definitely am proud of the fact I have lost 15kgs in 10 weeks.  I am proud of the fact I am pushing myself when it comes to exercise and I am not making excuses anymore.  I am proud because I have eaten mostly clean for the last 10 weeks.  And I have not once fallen off the wagon.  Eating a few lollies or drinking a few wines has been MY choice.  I am proud of the fact it IS different this time, and I am proud I have realised that this is it for the rest of my life!
I did write down all my food & calories yesterday & was shocked that I had eaten UNDER 1000 calories!  I made up for the deficit with a coffee & some fruit, but it was a wake up call to me that I need to keep track & make sure I am eating all my calories each day.

At work last night, I was sitting at my desk looking at  my roster for the next 4 weeks, when I realised.... HOLY SHIT!  I am turning 40 in a month's time.  40.  FORTY.  Four-0.  WOW!  A little bit of disappointment hit me, as I have been planning on being trim & fit for my fortieth for about the last 5-10 years!  However, at least I am on the right track, and I can comfort myself in knowing that I will be trim & fit in my fortieth YEAR!  Whoo hoooo!!!!

In other news...I had a well overdue physio session for my ankle this morning, and he gave me some tips on the pain I am getting in my knees from cycling, which involves exercises using a roll thingamajig! My ankle always feels wonderful after a visit to the physio, and I've made another appointment for 3 weeks time.
AND we've had a few sick kids this week - high temps, flu, vomiting, spots.  JOY!!!!

Oh, and a big shout out & WELL DONE to my bestie Jen who is on the 12wbt journey as well.  She is doing so well at this & is losing massive amounts of weight & could hopefully be at her goal weight in the next round!  Go you good thing!!!  Very proud!!!

Time to Re-evaluate?

I am so disappointed in my weigh in this morning.  110.8kgs.  The VERY same weight I was last Thursday.  So for the last week I have worked my arse for nothing.  Well, for 3 bottles of wine actually.  But can that be right?  Can 3 bottles of wine cause such a disappointing outcome, with perfect nutrition & daily exercise so that I don't lose anything in 6 days?  I am just flabbergasted at it really.
So, out on my 20km bike ride this morning, I decided it was time to re-evaluate what I am doing.  I haven't been counting calories (only in my head) so I am going to start writing down everything I eat & drink.  Of course I haven't really needed to since I'm following the 12wbt menu, but I want to do it for a few days, just to make sure I am staying within the 1200 calories.

However, I should rejoice in the fact I have lost a total of 15kgs since starting and hubby has lost over 21kgs.  He's amazing.  Yes, I should rejoice, but I just don't feel like it at the moment :(

The End is Nigh!

Indeed, the end is nigh. Only 2 more weeks to go on the 12wbt!  And then we're straight into the NEXT round which is starting August 27th.  I am excited about the next round - as in this next round I will get into.... DOUBLE DIGITS!!!  Oh, how I cannot wait for that day!  There will be no wiping that stupid grin from my face!  Yes, it is only a number, but I have battled so long to get there, and I am so glad 12wbt has given me the confidence & the tools I need to get there.

So, I'm all signed up for Round 3, and hubby will be signed up soon, and I am so pleased that I have "inspired" quite a few of my friends to join up too.  I hope they all love the program as much as I do, and get out of it as much as I have over the last 9 weeks.  For referring 3 friends to the 12wbt, I am being sent a free Polar heart rate monitor.  Bonus!  I am going to sell it off & donate the proceeds to my Ride to Conquer Cancer.

Curried egg sandwich

Have had some yummy food this week, including my first proper sandwich in 9 weeks - a curried egg one.  It was delicious, but must admit I felt so bloated after the bread.  I am loving how my body is changing.  All the food on the 12wbt has been mostly delicious.  I think we've only had a couple of meals that we won't be repeating.  The kids like mostly all of them, but it's been easy to whip up something they like if I plan ahead on nights when we are having something I think they'll complain about.  Last night for dinner hubby & I had Sweet'n'Sour Pork (YUM!) and I made Mango Chicken for the kids with rice.

Sweet'n'Sour Pork

I fear the scales have not been kind to me since Friday night.  We decided to have a few wines, which turned into a "few too many" wines, and I paid for it the next day.  Very sick & unable to go for my early morning 40km bike ride.  So very disappointed in myself, and I won't be repeating the stupidity any time soon.  The good news is that I did not snack whilst drinking wine.  A small victory for me!  However, the scales have been heading in the wrong direction, although I have been PERFECT with nutrition ever since.  Oh well, it teaches me a valuable lesson & I have no one to blame but myself!

Accelerator Day Big Brekkie - Field mushies, poached eggs, rocket & salsa

Accelerator Day Lunch - Lamb Greek Salad with fetta, asparagus & figs.

Onwards & downwards......

I've Lost My Three Year Old!!!!

Weighing in at 110.8kgs this morning, so that's 1.4kgs gone since weigh in on Wednesday.  Totalling a whopping 15.1kgs!   And then I realised, Holy Shit..... I've lost Aidan!!!!  He only weighs 14.8kgs!  I instantly picked him up & carried him around the house.   I just cannot believe that I was lugging around that much extra weight 8 weeks ago!

Someone shared this on FB.  Loved it.....

My Big Fat Bum!

Why can't weigh in day be today?!?!?!?!?!  Always the bloody way - weighing in lighter on Thursdays!!!!  Can I just say that this number below (111.1kgs) has me on a MISSION!  I could possibly be under 110kgs by next week.  Oh, how I want that!!!  And I am going to work my big fat arse off to get there!!!

And as I mentioned yesterday, my ultimate goal is of being in double digits.  When I mentioned this to hubby last night, he made the comment that I will be there before the end of the next round.  I hadn't even realised that!  WOW, to think that I could be in double digits before Christmas is just so exciting for me!!!!!

Speaking of my fat arse, I was watching the Olmpics briefly this morning with my 2 older kids, and my 11yo son remarked how big one of the women cyclists bum was.  "Are you kidding?" I exclaimed in shock, and  9yo daughter explained to him it was the way the cyclist was sitting that made it look bigger, and I explained how fit that cyclist was, and that she wouldn't have an ounce of fat on that bum.  He then remarked "You have the biggest bum of all, Mum".  Oh, thanks.  One day a comment about how much weight I was losing, and the next, a reminder of how big my bum is.  You've gotta love kids & their honesty!!!!!

My big fat arse has been neglected, but now with diet & exercise, that good looking arse will be mine one day!!!!  

Weigh In Wednesday......

Weigh in Wednesday has arrived & I've had a loss of 1.9kgs this week.  It brings my 12wbt total to 13.6kgs, which is 10.8% of my body weight lost.  For some reason though, all I keep thinking is I am STILL 10kgs heavier than in March last year.  I will not let it bring me down though - it's only 12.3kgs until I am in double digits,  and can I just say, when that day comes, I will be on Cloud 9!!!

Hubby had a loss of 1.2kgs this week, bringing his 12wbt total to an amazing 19.2kgs.  What a machine he is!  We may be a bit lighter for our trip to Bali in October this year, but when we go back to Bali in March next year, we are going to look amazing!!!!  Cannot wait!

29km bike ride this morning, 575 calories.  Yay!!!

Onwards & downwards....

Week 9 Already!!!!

I cannot believe hubby & I are in week 9 of the 12wbt.  It has taken us only 8 weeks to change our lives completely!  I just cannot believe the people we were 8 weeks ago, and in comparison, the people we are now!  The transformation is just amazing.  And I'm not talking about physically, I'm talking about mentally.  And I am nothing short of proud of us, and our efforts.
My 11 year old patted me on the tummy yesterday, gave me a big cuddle, and told me I am doing a great job, and that I am losing my fat belly.  God bless him!  The kids just don't realise how much their off hand comments mean to us!

A few of my friends have signed up for the next round of the 12wbt.   I remember how I felt when I first signed up.  Full of doubt about the program, eager to get started & worried I wouldn't be able to commit.  The above comment reminds me of that feeling, and what they are all going through now.  If I can do it, anyone bloody well can!!!

So, it's weigh in day tomorrow, and after last week's dismal loss of 100gms, there better be something good on those scales.  We are doing our first "Accelerator Day" today - a day of no carbs whatsoever, to boost our weight loss.  That means no bread, rice, potatoes, fruit, or anything with carbs.  Interesting to see if it has any impact to our weigh in.

Exercise this week has been great.  A PT boxing session on Saturday morning, followed by a 40km bike ride.  Sunday was a rest day, and yesterday I did a workout for 45min & 50min brisk walk.  Nutrition has been fantastic, except for a couple of wines & vodka & sodas on the weekend.  Also had a few lollies on Sunday, and it was amazing to feel the sugar headache come straight on from it.  Something I won't be repeating quickly.  It is unbelievable how good you can feel eating clean!  I am just loving it, and love that my body is responding so well to it.

Onwards & downwards.....

My accelerator day big brekkie!

A Glass and A Half No Longer...

The one thing I truly loved to "treat" myself with, after a long day, kids in bed asleep, sitting on the couch with a nice glass of white wine....

......Cadbury Fruit & Nut Chocolate!  Yum!  Actually, it could probably be any variety of Cadbury chocolate.  And it wouldn't be a couple of pieces.  No, I would eat a WHOLE large block of chocolate to myself.  Actually, I could probably quite easily eat TWO blocks by myself.  

My, how things have changed.  I bought a block of Cadbury chocolate for the kids to share yesterday, and my eldest commented "Mum, I would offer you some chocolate, but you're not allowed to eat it", and I replied with "I actually don't WANT any".  And it was the truth.  It seemed to me at that very moment, with those very words coming out of my mouth, that this IS it!  It dawned on me right then. This is the beginning of my new life.  There are no more slip ups, no more excuses, no more blaming anyone else for derailing me (yep, it was always poor hubby copping that!).  I want this enough to see it right through to the end.  And although I have been on WW, the Dukan Diet, and all other diets where I have felt "in the zone", I can honestly say I have never felt like this before.  I feel strong, empowered & healthy.  I know I can & WILL do this.  And I know hubby will support me all the way, just as I will support him all the way.  Together, we're unstoppable!  I can't wait for what the future holds!  Sorry Cadbury that your sales are considerably lower now!

I also managed to do a plank for the first time EVER yesterday!  Woot woot!!  My crap weightloss of 100gms this week has lit a fire in my belly, and I am going to push myself over the next 4 weeks!!!  I am going to crank up the intensity of my exercise,  drink water like a mad man, and ensure my nutrition is 100%.

Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!

Week 8 Fitness Test & Measurements

Every 4 weeks on the 12wbt, we have to retake a fitness test, and redo our body measurements.  The results are amazing!  Not only have I lost 11.8kgs in 7 1/2 weeks (I have to keep reminding myself of the BIG picture, and not of the measly 100gms I lost yesterday!!!), but I have lost 30cm from all over my body.  That includes 7cm from my over-ample bust, and 11cm from my waist.  Woot woot!!

In regards to my fitness, I am feeling so much stronger & fitter.  I haven't had much of an improvement over the 8 weeks on my pushups, my sit-ups or my sit & reach test, but in my wall sit test, I have gone from 17 seconds to 1 minute 5 seconds!  Amazing!  My 1km time trial that Michelle gives us to do as a run, I do on the xtrainer, as I obviously can't run because of my ankle.  I have set my xtrainer incline & resistance at a certain level, and it is on that level I retest myself.  It took me 16min45sec in the first week to do 1000reps, and in the 4 week time trial I did 16min11sec.  I got on the xtrainer not thinking I would be able to do much better, as I remember in the last one I went as fast as I possibly could, and didn't think any faster would be humanly possible!  Today I did the impossible!  15min8sec.  I bettered my time overall by 1min37sec & I am absolutely stoked!  But what a task I have set myself for 4 weeks time!  eeekkk!

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Weightloss!

The thing I think I love most about the 12wbt program, is the mindset lessons you learn.  With weightloss, it is all about the mind!  We are overweight because of something to do with our mind - we eat for comfort, out of boredom, out of habit, because we are stressed, because we are sad, because we are happy... and the list goes on.  I think the last 7 weeks for me on the 12wbt have been monumental emotionally.  I have been a mixed bag of emotions, one minute happy as Larry, the next a howling banshee ready to kill!  I can see my husband reading this nodding his head!  I have come to realise all the reasons & excuses I gave myself to eat (and drink!!!), and I know this is not the true me, and I think I have come out the other side much stronger and wiser, and will only continue to grow in my emotions.

Greg & I  last weekend - we're shrinking!

My girlfriend who is also doing the 12wbt made a comment to me yesterday about how she had lost about 9kgs & was feeling good about herself, but now she has hit that point where she can't see the good work she's done, and all she sees when she looks in the mirror is her old fat self.  This is EXACTLY how I felt on the weekend, whilst getting ready for my friend's 40th party.  I had piles of clothes I'd tried on thrown over the floor, and was close to tears because nothing looked good.  I just couldn't see how far I'd come, and all I could see was a fat Julie staring back at me in the mirror, with nothing that fit nicely.  I ended up choosing a top I had worn to a wedding months ago, which is now too big.  I think those emotions were what led me to consume numerous vodkas that night!
This morning was weigh in day, and Greg lost 2.8kgs.  WTF?!?!  I had a loss of 100gms.  One hundred grams!!!!!!!!  That's it!  Yep, I wanted to punch him in his smug face, but it's NOT HIS FAULT!!!  Where did I go wrong?  Was it the vodkas consumed on Saturday night?  No, I don't think so.  It may have been the mindless munching on Friday night.  Even though it was healthy food, with a few lollies thrown in, it was too much.  It's disappointing though.  It doesn't warrant such a poor loss, but I will just have to step up the exercise to another level, I think.  I need to pull up my socks, suck it up & get on with it.
Onwards & downwards.... and here's to SMASHING it next week, and keeping those negative emotions in check!!!