Ready to Rock Round 3

I ordered an outfit online for the 12wbt Finale in a couple of weeks time in Perth.  The store is in Richmond, on the other side of Melbourne, and I thought it would be easier to just have the item delivered, than drag the kids along with me, or waste my time battling traffic.  The garment arrived, and I loved it!!!!  However, it didn't sit right.  My Size 22 outfit was too big!

I called them up & I could mail it back & they repost a smaller size, but instead I decided to trek to the store, 2 feral children in tow & try on the size 20.  It fit!  YAY!  I then thought I'd just try a size 18 in case.  It probably wouldn't fit, but while I was standing there in my bra & undies, I  might as well give it a go.  And it fit!  HOLY COW!!!  That's when it ACTUALLY dawned on me..... I've lost weight!  I am smaller!  I fit into a size 18!!!!!  And you know how you always HATE your reflection in those changing room mirrors - well I actually LIKED mine!  Saggy skin, bumps, lumps and all.

However, it seemed a day later after this realisation that I am actually smaller, that I let the wheels fall off.  Hubby and I have been having a few wines the last couple of nights to celebrate the end of the round, but realise we can't fall back into old habits, so it was only a couple of nights, and THAT'S IT!! However, yesterday, while making my 5yo a jam sandwich, I decided I would like one too.  Not much of a problem, however, I had just had lunch already.  And I didn't eat just one slice of bread with butter & jam - I ate five!!!!  FIVE!  F.I.V.E!!!  WTF was I thinking (besides the fact "ohhhh, yummm")?  Bread lathered with jam & butter is one of my all time favourite things, but did I need 5 slices of it??  Totalling 699 calories!!!!  NO!  So why did I do it?

I have no clue to the REAL reason I did it.  But I do know I was thinking that I deserved it.  That I had just lost 17.7kgs, so why the hell not eat 5 slices of bread!  It is a pattern that I am familiar with - doing a great job & sabotaging myself.  And this is the reason that I find the 12wbt so wonderful - the mindset lessons I am learning.  This is why I need to continue this program!  Sure, it was only one real bingeing issue in 12 weeks, but it is lying there underneath the surface, and it is something that I need to conquer to ensure it never happens again.

So, after a few nights of indulging in wines, and a day of eating more bread than I have consumed in  12 weeks, the scales are showing me nearly 2kgs heavier.  Not the way I wanted to start the next round off, but I will OWN it, and work my butt of between now & Wednesday to minimise the damage.  I am RARING TO GO with this next round!!!  Lots of obstacles coming up (Perth finale, 40th Birthday party, trip to Bali) but I am going to SMASH it!!!!!

BRING IT ON BABY!!!!!!!!!