Week 7 Weigh In

Loss of 700gms for me today.  Of course I'm always hoping for larger losses, but every bit counts in the grand scheme of things.  My goal for this week was to be in the 98's, to cement myself away from that 100kg mark for good.  And I did it!

Exercise is going brilliantly this week, and will only get better.  We're going away to our caravan in Cobram, and as we're off the booze, there'll be lots of gym sessions, bike rides & swimming.  Cannot wait!

I hope you all have a brilliant Easter break.  I know I'll be indulging in hot cross buns & Easter eggs, but I'll be making sure I put in extra to work them off!

It's The Little Things!

I was a bit disappointed with my weigh last Wednesday - 99.3kgs.  A loss of 600gms.  Yeah sure, a loss is a loss, but I still felt disappointed after a week of pretty perfect nutrition & good exercise.  Sure, I had an extra couple of rest days during the week, but I had stuck to my guns about not eating after dinner.  My ONLY downfall for the week, and it was a little one, was that I had a couple of extra skinny lattes on the weekend from our coffee machine.

Greg reminds me that it can sometimes take a week for the scales to catch up, which is definitely true, so I just have to keep doing what I'm doing.

However, I've had a few good reminders over the last week about non-scale wins.  Here's a run down of them...

• I went for a 45km bike ride with a friend who I consider to be fit.  But she struggled, and it took us 4 1/2 hours to do a ride that would usually take me less than 2 hours.  It made me remember back to when I had struggled to ride 8kms only 12 months ago, and how much my bike fitness has improved.  I am so overwhelmed with pride at how far I've come (and how fast I am on the bike now!)
• My engagement ring flew off my finger last night in the car.  I can't wear it or my wedding band anymore for fear of losing them.  Will get them resized when I am at goal.  
• On a plane on the weekend, I realised I had a huge overlap of the seatbelt, and it was comfortable.  I remember I had to get a seat belt extension for our flight to Malaysia years ago.  No more squashing into airline seats & overflowing onto the seats beside me.  No more struggling to get the seatbelt done up!  *Big fist pump!!*
• Being on a weekend away with Greg, I realised that we now ALWAYS make wise food choices when out & about.  It's just what we prefer to do!  And we flew interstate with all our snacks packed so we wouldn't be caught out.  We are actually LIVING this life now!  And loving it!
• And whilst on the weekend away, we chose to spend Saturday doing the walk from Maroubra to Bronte Beach, just because we could!
• My fitness just keeps improving, and I can do things I only dreamed of - like tricep dips.  Yep, I can do them now (and no, I don't like them!!!)
• I am actually looking for fun runs/walks that we can do as a family.  If I see one advertised I check the dates, my work roster, Greg's availability & if we can actually do it as a family.  Who is this woman??  The new ME!!!
• I have collar bones! 

  

  An amazing 10km walk we did on Saturday!

  
  

  

  Wedding Anniversary Lunch at Doyle's in Watsons Bay 

So, a great little list of things that actually remind me why I am doing this, how far I've come in 10 months, and how great the future is for us.  

I've been sitting here drinking my new love, Lady Grey tea.  Move over Green tea, there's a new boss in town!  Delicious!  Apparently Nigella used to promote it.  I love my coffee, but there is something therapeutic about a nice cup of tea in the afternoon & evening.  I'm looking forward to my cold winter evenings with my uggs boots on, and a nice cuppa in hand.  I definitely prefer Summer, but Winter is great for good nutrition with yummy hearty soups & casseroles for dinner - delish!  Can't wait!

Anyway, I digress.... I am sitting here with my cuppa, and have just had a read back on my blog to June 2012, when we started on the 12wbt.  I can't believe what a grumpy emotional troll I was!!!  I remember that very first week & how hard it was, and that the first night it took me over 2 hours to burn 500 calories & I was a sobbing helpless mess, thinking that the program was a farce!  

I will be forever grateful to the "guru" Michelle Bridges, for attempting to do something so major as tackle Australia's obesity crisis.  I'm thankful for my bestie Jenny who told me about the 12wbt & said it was this amazing new program that seemed "right", and her encouragement since the very start.  And of course, I'll be forever thankful for the support I get from Greg, who I couldn't have done this without!  Together we're a force to be reckoned with!

Beautiful Sydney

Today Is Your Day

I just can't explain it, but it is so surreal that I am in the 90s now!  I weighed myself about 100 times this morning every time I was near the bathroom, just to be sure I wasn''t dreaming!  I even took photos EVERY time!  Yep, ridiculous, but can you tell I'm excited?

Yep still double digits!

I went for a quick ride this morning.  I estimate it was about 30kms, because I unfortunately turned my GPS tracker off half way accidentally. I couldn't believe how quick I felt I was riding with a head wind - only 22kms per hour, but my legs just felt so strong & fast & I felt like I was flying.  I have times like these, they're not often, probably every couple of months, where I notice the difference in my body.  How much stronger I am.  How much fitter I am.

I remember when I first started riding earlier last year and at a particular corner on a bike track near home I had to slow down to get around it.  I felt awkward by the fact I wasn't agile enough on the bike to lean into the corner and take it quickly, as a normal cyclist would do.  It wasn't until today that I realised I don't slow at that corner anymore.  I don't know when it happened, but I am obviously a lot more agile on the bike & fitter & stronger.

It's days like today that make me happy to be alive, make me thankful for all that I have around me, reminds me of how quickly it can be all taken away (as the events in the last few days have proven).

Melbourne - the best city in the world!

From the wise Dr Seuss:-

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.  And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets.  Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry.  Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted.  But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out?  Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored.  there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame!  You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Double Digits Baby!!!!

YEAH BABY!

I did it!
I conquered my Everest!

My bathroom mirror counting down!

99.9kgs!
I'm there!

I've been sitting here infront of this computer screen for ages trying to put into words my feelings, but there is nothing I can write to express my elation of getting past that bloody 100kg point.  Sure, it's a physical weight thing, but for me it was a mental game.  And I won!

What a bloody huge week for me....

• I nearly ran for a whole 2kms pushing a pram with 35+ kilos in it
• I did my first ever sit up (and did 50 of them last night!!!!)
• I did my first ever push up on my toes
• I made double digits!

And now I need to ensure this week I go hard & cement myself under the 100kgs so I don't slip back over it - EVER!!!  I'm on a mission to get into the 80s before the end of the round.  BRING IT ON!!!

And I have started "Mission: Finale Dress", just like my beloved Kate & her "Operation Yellow Dress".  I bought a beautiful dress before the last finale and it has been too tight for the zip to do up.  Damn these big boobs!!!  I was hoping I would be able to wear it for our Wedding Anniversary on the 23rd March, but it is still too tight, so I've made it my goal for finale.  I will wear this dress to finale!!!


On a sadder note, one of my dearest friend's Mother passed away last night.  She was taken far too quickly by Motor Neurone Disease.  From the time my friend found out her mother had this cruel disease until her passing yesterday, was far too short a time.  I am so lucky to have this gorgeous friend in my life, and she is a living testament to what a beautiful soul her mother was.

It puts everything into perspective.  Tell your family you love them every day.  Tell your friends you love them every day.  Life passes by so quickly for all the bullshit that goes on.  Treasure your loved ones.  Live a healthy and meaningful life.

RIP Marie x

Greg puts it all into words so much better than me.  Check out his latest post here.

Nearly There!!!

This morning's sneaky weigh in.... 100.2kgs!!!!



I am NEARLY there!  And of course, straight away the heart palpitations started, the shortness of breath and the thoughts of "I just CAN'T be under 100kgs".  But one thing has changed - there were no thoughts of self sabotage!!  I didn't immediately think of what I could eat to be rid of these thoughts & keep me at my comfortable weight.  I thought of what I would eat today at a BBQ I am going to and what exercise I would do to ensure I was in double digits this Wednesday.  That's an immediate win for me - no self sabotage thoughts.

Why is getting into double digits so important to me?

I was at the hospital about to give birth to Paige by caesarian when they weighed me & I was just over 100kgs.  I remember my embarrassment at weighing so much, and how horrified I was to be in triple digits.  I was 41+ weeks pregnant!  And although I would have lost weight with the birth of Paige to get me into double digits, I never actually weighed myself, so have never known myself to be in double digits since then.

Weight wasn't a big issue to me then.  I had a 20 month old son, and a newborn daughter, and a husband who loved me unconditionally.  I don't even think we owned a set of scales back then.   I knew I was overweight.  I knew Greg was overweight.  But we were both blissfully happy in our little cocoon - we were newly weds, had 2 gorgeous little kids & a circle of wonderful family & friends.  We had a huge social life to boot, which added to the food & drinking and weight gain.  But life was good.  No, actually, life was bloody brilliant!!!

Roll on 10 years, and the weight just kept piling on.  There were periods of huge weightloss (30+ kilos lost on Weight Watchers), with me only to pile it back on when I got close to double digits. Bloody double digits - my nemesis!  My unattainable goal.  My Everest.

Until now.

I will conquer this.

Watch me!

Thank You!

I know I've mentioned it previously in posts, but we have a garage session at our house on Saturday mornings with some of our local 12wbters.  These guys & gals thank us all the time for opening our home up to them.  What they don't realise is that they are doing US the favour!  It allows Greg and I to train together in a group without having to worry about someone to look after the 4 kids for us.  It's fun & a great way to get together with other like minded people.  So to those Western Warriors who join us on Saturday mornings....

THANK YOU!

At yesterday's training session I made sure that everyone watched as I did a sit-up!  I'm not very good at them, and wasn't able to do many of them, but I am so proud of myself that I can now do them!  I never thought I would have strong enough tummy muscles to heave this massive body up.  I can't believe how far I've come!

Boxing it out

I announced how my next goal was to do a push up on my toes, so they all encouraged me to try, and I did it!!!!  Not one, but five pushups on my toes!  Sure, my technique needs improvement, but if it wasn't for the support of the fantastic members of the Western Warriors, then I wouldn't have even tried to do it as I didn't think I could do it!!!  Can't believe that no one got a photo of me doing it!!!

Squats - my favourite exercise

Mel, one of the girls there, suggested I start doing wall pushups, where you lean against a wall in the pushup stance and I can build up my arm strength that way.  So yesterday on my breaks at work, I did my usual running up and down the stairs in my building & whenever I reached the top landing I did 20 wall pushups.  My arms today are screaming at me, but I am loving it!!!

I've added in a couple of photos my daughter took of me during the session yesterday.  I couldn't stop looking at these photos of me - sure I am still overweight & have a long way to go, but I think I am finally starting to really notice the changes in my body.   I can feel the changes, but looking at these photos, I can really see the changes too.

So now another thing has been crossed off my bucket list today - one push up on my toes!!!  Life just keeps getting better!!

OMG OMG OMG Newsflash!!!!

I can't believe I forgot to mention this in my earlier post!!!  I crossed another thing off my bucket list!!  Yesterday, I managed to do my first EVER sit up!  Well, my first ever whilst being morbidly obese.  And I cried!  I never dreamed this flabby old tummy of mine would have enough muscle to hoist me up off the ground, but I did it!!!  A sit up!!!

WHOO HOOOO!!!!

Next task, a push up on my toes!

Brooks Sunset Series Pictures

We just received some pictures of Wednesday night's event...

Mini Milestone Week

The boys and I ready to go!

This week marks Week 4 of the 12wbt and what is called "Mini Milestone" week.  Greg and I have never done anything for our 4 weekly mini milestones, but I did mention to him I would like to start doing something every 4 weeks to mark these.

The boys wanted to run over the finish line with me!

So, on Wednesday night we did the Brooks Sunset Series Fun Run/Walk.  Greg once again did the 8km run, in hot sticky conditions.  I'm just so proud of how far he's come!   I did the 4km walk with the 3 boys.  Paige missed out on the fun as she was at Ballet.   Callum, my eldest boy, commented how bored he was with walking at the 2km point, so we decided to run.  I can't say that I ran the whole 2kms, as I did stop & walk to catch my breath 3 times, but I must say, I can't believe that I actually did it!  I ran!!!  And it was easier than I expected!  Many runners passing me were just so lovely with their comments of support & to tell me how great I was doing pushing a pram laden with 2 kids.  It was so uplifting and actually brought a tear to my eye at one stage.  To those dozen or so anonymous people who made comments to me - THANK YOU!!  It made me keep on running!

Greg crossing the finish line

Weigh in this week saw a little loss of 400gms on the scales.  I am trying to not be disheartened about it.  I can feel my body changing, and actually see the difference the last 4 weeks have made.  I am feeling strong & healthy & will just keep going.  One thing I am making a conscience effort of changing this week, is to not eat after dinner.  I have noticed the last couple of weeks I have been having an evening snack, even if it puts me over my calories for the day.  So from now on I am not eating after dinner & will stick with my green tea, except on Saturdays when I will have a 12wbt dessert or a Skinny Cow icecream for treat night.  I am sure it will make a difference on the scales next week.

After the run/walk

My exercise & calorie burning over the last week wasn't as big as the one before, but I am really enjoying the regular exercise.  I am loving being able to get out on the bike on my childfree days and did 40km ride on Monday, and a 26km ride yesterday.  My new bike is an absolute dream to ride.

Cruising at Williamstown Beach

This morning Greg signed up for the Run Melbourne half marathon on July 21st.  Who is this man?!?!  The man I married weighed 156kgs not so long ago, and now he is training for a half marathon!  Just amazing!!!  So, I thought stuff it, I will sign up for the 5km run/walk as well.  Okay, not such a big thing as a half marathon, but for me, it's a big goal I am setting myself - and I am going to try & run as much of it as I can!!!  Callum signed up for the kids 3km run the day before.  I just love having the kids involved!!!!

So, is this our new life?  Bike rides, fun runs/walks with the kids, 4 weekly mini milestones?

If so, I am bloody loving it!!!

Aidan showing us his pushups technique

FINALLY!!!!

Finally the scales are moving in the right direction!!!  Woot Woot!  A loss of 1.9kgs this week and now weighing in at 101.7kgs.  Once again I am staring down the barrel of double digits, and already I am panicking.  Stupid thoughts are running through my head - "What will I look like at 90kgs?", "Surely my body is meant to weigh over 100kgs!", etc.  I will NOT let these thoughts derail me.  I have my eye on the prize and I am determined to blow that 100kgs out of the water within the next 2 weeks.

I.CAN.DO.THIS!!!!

A big 12wbt cook up!

I burnt a total of 3994 calories last week.  That's the biggest week of exercise I have ever done!  I've set the bar very high, but it is my goal from now on to burn at least 3500 calories a week (5x500cals + 1x1000cals) which is what we're supposed to do on the 12wbt program anyway, but something I've never been able to achieve.  I want this, and I will do this!!!

Pretty nails!

I rewarded my hard work over the last couple of weeks with getting my nails done today!!  After biting my nails all my life, it's nice to have nails now that can look nice.  Ah, it's the little things!  But sitting in the nail salon today, it did get me thinking about habits, like nail biting.  All my life, well as long as I can remember, I've been a nail biter.  I would go through periods of not biting my nails and growing them long for a week or a month or so, before biting them all down to the quick again if something stressed me out.  It was a VERY hard habit to break, but I am glad I did break it last year.  And I guess it's the same with any habit - smoking, drinking wine nightly, overeating!  It's bloody hard to break the habit, but once you do, how great do you feel?  And it's the habits of exercising regularly, eating well, drinking water, that are the habits we don't want to break!!!

Onwards & downwards....

Tonight's dinner - Nasi Goreng.  YUM!

MS Melbourne Cycle

On Sunday, I took part in the MS Melbourne Cycle 50km ride over the Westgate Bridge.  It was a beautiful sunny morning on Sunday, with perfect conditions for riding.  Greg and I did the ride, and were supposed to be joined by Dayna, but she hurt her knee in the fun run with Greg earlier in the week, so another 12wbt training friend, Nicole, took Dayna's place.

The Westgate Bridge

The first 8 or so kilometres were slow going getting through the city.  Bunched up riding & traffic lights  making the pace slow & frustrating.  Finally we hit Port Melbourne & ascended the Westgate Bridge.  I had ridden over it about 20 years ago & remember it to be tough going.  However, this time I was able to ride up the bridge with ease, be it with a lot of huffing & puffing!  The route took us through Altona, Williamstown, Flemington & back into the city.  It was an amazingly fun ride, and was awesome to ride over the finish line with Greg & Nicole.  However, after the finish we still had another 7km ride back to car which was left at the starting point of the ride - why they had the start & finish at two different locations is beyond me!!?!?!

Ready to start the long ride

My post from the other day was about our cycling Team Fighting Back breaking up.  Fortunately my tantrum had some effect and made us all take stock of what is important to us and I am so pleased that we've decided to all stay as the one team, and keep Fighting Back to make a difference to cancer research and Peter Mac.  Lots of tears were shed over the whole thing (yes by me!) and all I can say is that I am a very proud & happy member and can't wait to kick the fundraising into gear!

Ready, set, go!

The Great Scale Debate

It's so easy to get caught up in the numbers on the scales.  Especially when you are morbidly obese, like myself, and the scales seem to be the true indication of how well you are doing.

This week, as mentioned in a previous post, has been extremely frustrating with a 300gm loss on Wednesday.  Since Wednesday, the scales have been headed in the wrong direction - UP!!!!   There is the old advice of not to weigh yourself every day, but I like to cause it keeps me on track.  Although it probably would be good NOT to in this instance as I wouldn't be so annoyed with the scales!!!  I can feel the difference in my clothes after 2 weeks, and I can also notice the difference when I stand in front of them mirror, but to not see that reflected in the numbers is down right pissing me off!!!

The two things I have changed in the last couple of weeks is that I am exercising for longer.  I never worried about the calories burnt in the past, but now I'm making an effort to get my 500cals per day, no matter how long it takes!  I am also exercising more consistently, making sure I workout every day, whereas in the past if I was too busy, I didn't bother with it, so sometimes had 2 or 3 rest days in a week.  I have also increased my water intake, doubling & sometimes even tripling what I usually drink in water & green tea.  Is it really is my body going into shock?  Is it just taking stock of what's going on and the losses will start soon?  I have no idea.  It is just so bloody frustrating, but I will just keep pushing on with it.

The 12wbt weekly prize this week is for people to nominate a blog they read.  I was absolutely stoked to be nominated a couple of times!!  I'm a winner already there!  But it's times like that where I realise "Shit, people actually read the crap I write!!"   People actually KNOW how much I weigh!  How many chocolate cookies I scoffed the other morning when I threw a toddler's tantrum after weigh in!  And after the wave of embarrassment has passed me, I thought about all the wonderful blogs I love to read, and how inspired I am by them.  So if I can inspire just one person to make a change to their life for the better, then that's awesome and I am happy to share my ups & embarrassing downs with them!!

Onwards & downwards on those bloody scales or else......

P.S. Are you a weekly or daily weigher?  Would love to know!!!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Early last year I joined an old work friend in a team called "Fighting Back" to do the Ride to Conquer Cancer.  Greg joined not long after, as well as my best friend Jenny, and a few others I didn't know.  We were a team ready to conquer the ride, and fundraise to support Peter Mac, where my Dad is receiving Chemo treatment.

Since last year's ride, Greg and I have actively recruited members for our team - the more team members for "Fighting Back", the more money for Peter Mac!  Each rider has to fundraise a minimum of $2500 which goes straight to Peter Mac.

However, today Fighting Back has split.  Greg & I and the riders we've recruited will be separating and forming a new team.  And to say I am shattered would be an understatement.  Greg delivered the news to me, ironically, when I was out on the bike this morning.  I just don't understand it, nor will I ever, so I have to accept the "break up", deal with that achy sick feeling I have in the pit of my stomach, and move on.

But I don't want to.

I AM "Fighting Back".  It's my team too!  Sure, I didn't start it, but I put my heart & soul into it.  And now I've been kicked out.

I am sure I will get over it, but right now I want to stamp my feet and scream.  But it's done.  It's over.  We are no longer Team Fighting Back.  And I just can't put into words how sad that makes me.

Frustrating Much?!?!

Actually I could have headed this post with "Upsetting Much?", "Pissed Me Off Much?" or just "Fuck It"!!!  I lost 300gms this week and was absolutely devastated!  I worked my arse off this week and to be rewarded with such a measly figure was shattering.  How did I lose so little?  It's beyond my reasoning.  After a whole day & night of thinking about it, I've put it down to my body going into shock - a week with no alcohol and a week of massive exercise.  My body is screaming "What the hell is going on?  Where's my glass of white wine??"

 
So, how did I deal with the small loss?  I ate cookies!  Yep, 8 cookies to be precise.  Chocolate chip cookies.  Mindless, brain numbing eating to make me feel better.  I don't even really like cookies, but at the time, I thought I would punish myself, the scales, the 12wbt.  And what did it achieve?  All it achieved was me feeling like a fool, and then feeling sick!  But I had planned on eating ALL the cookies, and it wasn't until I picked up my ninth cookie that I realised what I was doing, and how ridiculous I was being, and I put it down, added up the calories (480cals!!!), and moved on.

I'm not perfect.  I will have slip ups like this (and the lolly situation a few days before), but I think I am starting to understand my emotional eating - boredom and anger were the two things that triggered this eating in the last week.  And I have finally registered and worked out what I am doing and now I can work on trying to create other ways of dealing with this.  Insert *lightbulb moment*.  I did get on then get on the xtrainer & burn my 500 calories to make up for those mindless calories I had gobbled up.

I love this picture with the 3 boys cheering their Dad on!!!

Yesterday was Greg's first fun run.  He's done lots of runs with his run buddy Dayna, but never an organised run.  I decided early in the day that I would surprise him by taking the kids out to watch him run.   The run was at the Melbourne Zoo, and it was packed with thousands of runners!  He did so well & was shocked to see us there. Unfortunately it didn't end so well for Dayna with her doing her knee.

So I'm going to continue this week as I started it, and not let a few cookies derail me.  Let's smash it!!!!


Exercise this week:-
Monday: 809 calories - bike ride, walk
Tuesday: 221 calories - garage workout
Wednesday: 503 calories - xtrainer

Onwards & downwards....

The banner the kids made for Greg

Full Throttle

The stairwell at work

I've decided to go full throttle with the exercise while I am in the right frame of mind.  I know that I can get derailed from time to time, so I might as well make the most of my positive mindset.  My ankle is sore, so a visit to the physio is on the cards, and my heel spurs are only slightly aching, so I thought I would ramp it up.  However, the weather in Melbourne has been HOT!  Exercising in the heat is not something I enjoy or something I want to do, but stuff it, I'm doing it!

Yesterday (Sunday) I had a full 8 hours shift at work.  I didn't exercise in the morning as Greg was going out on the bike, so I used my 2 x 15 minute breaks to run up & down the stairs at work - which is what I used to do when I first joined the 12wbt & was totally committed.   Not a big deal you may say, but to me, this is a HUGE deal!!!  When I started the 12wbt back in June last year, I did the stairs at work on my breaks and I slowly climbed up and down them holding onto the handrail.  Yesterday I actually RAN up and down these stairs!  I couldn't believe how much my fitness has improved since June.  I then went for a walk in my half hour lunch break in the heat.  Only 245 calories for the exercise I did, but it was better than me sitting on my breaks on my fat arse on Facebook!!!

Today we are experiencing a 37 degree day in Melbourne.  But once the Kinder & school drop offs were done & I was childfree, I was off on my new bike.  I had wanted to do a 50km ride, but the heat & wind won the battle and I managed a 22km ride - but burnt 507 calories!  Tonight I am off for a walk with some girlfriends, so even more calories gone!!!

Monday morning ride in the heat

It's not all roses though.  I got home from the bike ride and made myself a big healthy tuna salad for lunch.  Then afterwards I had some lollies that were in the cupboard for the kids.  I didn't even enjoy them, and felt so sick afterwards.  Why!?!?  Because I was bored!

Quite ironic that Mish's mindset lesson video this week was about cravings.  I wasn't craving the lollies though, I didn't even enjoy them.  It was just mindless eating because of boredom.  But I recognised what I was doing and put a stop to it, and I think that is something that has happened the last couple of weeks with me - I've realised what I've been doing and I've been able to analyse why I'm doing it, and put a stop to it.

I have, however, been craving my good old friend, white wine.  Oh how I miss a nice cold glass of wine in the evenings.  This week we've had 12wbt bunless burgers & steak sandwiches for dinner, both cooked on the BBQ.  BBQs and a cold wine or beer just go hand in hand, don't they??  But I will not sway, I am off it for the 12 weeks - but God how good that wine will taste on Finale weekend!!!

Last night's dinner - Potato, Spinach & Feta Tortilla. YUM!

So week 2 is here & I have all guns blazing with nutrition (no more lollies!) and exercise.  Bring on the next 11 weeks I say!!!

Onwards & downwards......

Hello Smokey!!!!

My baby has finally arrived!!!  Say hello to "Smokey", my lovely new Giant bike!!! Named after my Dad who's nickname is Smokey, and for it's grey colour.

Took it for a spin straight away & I am absolutely FLYING on it!!!  Cannot wait to get on it & do a really decent ride on Monday.  SO BLOODY EXCITED!!!

More Brisbane Finale Photos!

Wendy, Sar, H, Me & Megs - love you girls x

Me, Cass & Dayna x

Sar, Wendy, Megs & Me

The ever so suave & sexy Mz Vicki - I carried on like a crazy woman when I spotted her!
Absolutely love her blog and think she's ah-mazing!!

Megs & Me.  LOVE LOVE LOVE this girl!!!

Margie Cummins (Biggest Loser winner 2012).  I'm sure she didn't mind me groping her!!!