I'm a Little Teapot Short & Stout!

It's school holidays, and I have my CBF pants on.  For those not into acronyms CBF = Can't Be F*cked!  I just can't be bothered doing ANYTHING!

Unfortunately, my exercising has taken a hit as well.  I just can't be bothered with the effort of organising kids to get out & exercise.  Sure, I could do it at home, but I can't be stuffed!!!!

12wbt has been out the window too.  I can't be bothered counting calories.  I can't be bothered weighing out my food.   I am still cooking 12wbt dinners though, which is one blessing.  Although there have been a few nights of takeaway food thrown in.  And too much wine.  Dry July?  What's that?

I ate half a cow!!!

On Sunday my team were taken out for lunch by work, and the old me returned.  I had the biggest steak on the menu, aptly called the "Tomahawk"!  This huge chunk of meat came out on the biggest pile of chips you've ever seen.  And of course I ate it all.  I then just HAD to have the tasting plate for dessert, as everyone else was having it!!!  This time last year I would have ordered a salad for lunch & skipped dessert, but no, I just had to go all out.  And I washed it down with a bottle of wine.  Afterwards at home, I felt so tired with my belly full of wine & too much food.  And then the tummy pains started.  It was a great reminder to myself why we need stop eating when full & not to keep eating until the plate is empty.

The dessert platter I just HAD to have!

Of course, I have been feeling like a failure.  I know I'm actually not a failure, but I feel like I have failed in this round of 12wbt, especially when the round was paid for me by other Vic Crew members, who had such high hopes for what I would achieve.

So where have I gone wrong?  What is different this round than all the other rounds?  A big factor is support.  Greg has been my major support & we've been in this together, but as he's gotten closer to his goal, he's lifted his foot slightly from the accelerator, and instead of me powering on, I joined him in slowing up.  Now in no way am I blaming him - this is MY own journey & although we're in it together, I am the only one responsible for my actions.  He is not forcing wine down my throat.  He is not in my ear telling me to lie on the couch instead of getting on the xtrainer.

However, I do have so much support outside of our home, that I forget about.  I have my awesome Western Warrior training buddies.  I have my work mates.  I have my circle of gorgeous girlfriends.  I have my extended family.  I have all those 12wbt groups on the 12wbt forums & Facebook.  I just need to remember to utilise them!

Last week after the shocking day I'd had with Dad having an operation and the news I was made redundant at work, one of our 12wbt buddies Bec turned up on our doorstep armed with 2 huge dishes of 12wbt Mexican Shepherds Pie.  To think she took the effort to cook (which she doesn't do often) and also cooked meat (as she is vegetarian) just blew me away.  And just the fact that she even thought to do this, was just so beautiful.  Thank you Bec!! xx

Bec's awesome Mexican Shepherd's Pie

Saturday morning we held our usual garage session & our training buddy Emily turned up with a bunch of tulips for me.  Such a thoughtful gesture that meant so much (and nearly reduced me to a blubbering mess!)  Thank you Emily x

Beautiful tulips from a beautiful girl x

Tuesday I answered the door to a delivery from my gorgeous friend Megan in Sydney.  A beautiful message in a card, and the most devine little teapot and cosy I've ever seen!  Megan, you'll never realise how much that brightened my day, and has every day since!  Mwah x

XOX Megs XOX

I have so much support everywhere else, that I need to remember I can't use Greg as my crutch all the time.   I am armed with all the tools I need to do this.  I have a huge support network to help me.  I can do this.

There are 3 weeks of this 12wbt round left, 4 weeks until the next round starts, and I'm not writing myself off.  I am going to use these next 4 weeks to get me back on track 100%.  I need to start making things a habit again.  And we can't afford for us to keep paying $400 every 12 weeks if we aren't using the program tools to our full advantage!

So, over the next 4 weeks I plan on getting back my focus & control.  These are the steps I will put into immediate action:

• Plan our meals fortnightly
• Do one big grocery shop for the fortnightly meal plan, with just top ups of essential fresh stuff
• Do a big cookup once a fortnight to have meals ready to go for those days I am working or when I can't be stuffed.
• Plan my exercise fortnightly, including my 3 rides a week when I don't have kids!!!
• Listen to Michelle Bridge's weekly messages, and read the forums to gain support & inspiration
• Use my support network when I am derailing to get me back on track

It's so frustrating to me because I know I can do this.  And I know I will do this.  School holidays are ending, and now it's time to put the foot back on the accelerator!!!

And I can get out on the bike!!  Woot woot!